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剑桥8真题写作解析

剑桥8真题写作解析
剑桥8真题写作解析

剑桥雅思8-第三套试题-写作部分-Task 1真题部分:

WRITING TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Task one

题目要求

(见“剑8”P78)

审题

题目翻译:下面的这两幅图显示了水泥制作方法的各个步骤和所需设备,以及如何用水泥生产用于建造房屋的混凝土。

本题为流程图题型,由两幅流程图构成。同样都是两幅流程图,本题难度要大于剑6 Test 3。剑6那道题显示了如何利用蚕茧生产丝绸的过程。图一显示蚕的生命循环,图二表现丝绸制造过程。剑6 Test 3那样的单一流程图只需要根据箭头的指向,注意写作顺序即可,图一和图二之间是单纯的时间先后顺序关系,而本题的两幅图之间则是在时间先后顺序的基础上,增加了对比关系。考生除了要分别描写制作水泥和混凝土的方法之外,还要比较这两种方法的异同。

写作思路

本题由两幅图组成,写作时可以分为四段。第一段可以通过改写题目的说明性文字介绍两幅图的主要内容;第二段和第三段分别描写水泥和混凝土的制作方法;第四段用来总结这两种制作方法的共同点和差异。

考生作文

(见“剑8”P166)

参考译文

这些图显示了水泥的制作流程和所用到的设备,以及如何用这些来制造用于建造房屋的混凝土。

生产水泥的第一步是添入石灰石(和)黏土。这些材料穿过捣碎机,变成粉末。接着粉末进入搅拌器。之后,产品经过加热的旋转加热器。接下来,混合物进入研磨机,水泥就出来了。在工序的最后水泥被装包。

在混凝土制造方面,其工序的第一步是要将15%的水泥,10%的水,25%的沙和50%的石子进行混合。这四种成分被放进混凝土搅拌器。

如上所述,混凝土生产需要的步骤比水泥生产要少;但前者需要使用更多的材料以获取最终产品。

两大制作流程的最后区别在于混凝土搅拌机不需要加热。

分析

本文得分为6分。

考官点评

(见“剑8”P166)

参考译文

这篇作文适当地展现了两幅图里的信息。两个工序之间的主要区别在简洁明确的总结里体现了出来,但其他重要特征本可以描述地更详尽一些。信息的条理性是这篇文章最有力的特点。本文的描述条理很清晰,整篇文章通过连接词和指代短语的良好运用得到了有序地推进。文中使用了一些相关的词汇,但词汇量不大,有一些用词并不是特别恰当。有少量拼写错误,不过不至于影响对文章的理解。文中使用了不同的句型,有一些正确的复杂句式结构,但许多短的简单句易使这种多样化受限制。

内容

两幅图里的重要信息在这篇作文里基本没有遗漏。两个工序之间的主要区别在文章结尾也得到简要总结,但有的重要特征描述不够详尽。

文章的首段描述了两幅图的大意,文字上对题目进行了一些改写(stages改为processes,cement-making 改为make cement),符合6分要求。更好的写法可以是:The first diagram demonstrates the process and the equipment used to make cement,and the second one illustrates how cement and other materials are mixed to manufacture concrete for building purposes.

有的重要特征描写不够充分。比如第三段的These four elements are introduced into a concrete mixer. 可以改写为:These four elements are poured into a concrete mixer in which they are rotated so that concrete can be produced as a result.

连贯与衔接

这篇文章在描述时,条理性比较好。整篇文章连接词和指代短语用得不错,接近7分。

连接词:then,after,afterwards,at the end of, as mentioned above,however等。

指代词:the first,these,this,which,where,the latter,the final,the last等。

用词

这篇文章中除了题目和图中原有的单词以外,作者还使用了一些相关词汇:

动词:introduce(放入),pass through(穿过),go into(进入),work with(采用),come out(出来),pack(包装),begin with(从……开始),obtain(获得)。

名词:material(材料),combination(组合),element(成分),step(步骤)。

用词不当示例:第二段The first step in the cement productios is to introduce limestone day. These materials pass through a crusher that produces a powder. (不当用词:introduce放入,pass through穿过)

应改为:The first step in the cement production is to put limestone and clay on two different conveyors. Then,these two types of materials are pressed so hard in the crusher that they are broken into powder.

句型

句型方面,这篇文章正确运用了一些复杂结构,比如第二段第二句、第四句、第五句都包含定语从句,文章最后一句为表语从句。但大部分句子都是简单的短句,限制了句型方面的得分。

剑桥雅思8-第三套试题-写作部分-Task 2真题部分:

WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What other measures do you think might be effective?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Task 2

题目要求

(见“剑8”P79)

审题

题目翻译:提高汽油价格是解决日益严重的交通和污染问题的最佳方法。你在多大程度上同意或不同意这种观点?你认为有什么其他的有效措施?

本题在题材上属于社会类话题,题型上是Agree/Disagree。本题由三句话组成。第一句是观点;第二、三句是两方面的问题。我们首先需要对第一个问题进行回应:同意还是反对,然后指出除了汽油提价以外还有什么措施可以解决交通和污染问题。

写作思路

本题需要回应的观点中包含了最高级形容词best。一般说来,诸如only和best等说法过于绝对化,通常应该disagree。就文章总体架构而言,大致可以写四到五段。第一段针对题目观点进行回应,表示不同意;然后在第二段中通过具体论证说明不同意的理由;第三段可以给出对于题目中第二个问题的回答,也就是提供解决交通和污染问题的其他措施,如果措施不止一个,可以分成两段来写;最后一段可以简要总结解决问题的措施,着重指出措施的施行各方。

考官范文

(见“剑8”P167)

参考译文

毫无疑问,在城市和各地的高速公路上,机动车造成的交通和污染问题已经变得相当严重。要解决这些问题需要的很可能不只是提高油价。

无可否认,私家车的使用是交通和污染问题增加的主要原因之一,但提升燃油价格不太可能长期限制驾车人的数量。由于这一政策也会影响到公共交通的花费,因此它将非常不受所有需要在公路上行驶的人欢迎。但是还有各种其他的措施,一旦实施,即会对这些问题产生巨大影响。

我认为要解决污染问题需要开发更清洁的燃料。我们已经拥有可以用来制造更安静、更清洁的电动汽车的技术。说服厂商和出行者采用这一新技术会是改进空气质量,尤其是城市中的空气质量的更有效的策略。

然而,交通拥堵的问题不会通过改变人们能使用的私家车的种类来解决。为了解决这个问题,我们需要改进出行者所能得到的公共交通服务的选择。比如,如果在主要城市中能够建造并有效维护充足的高架列车和地铁系统,那么公路上的交通将会急剧减少。长途列车和长途公共汽车应该成为自驾长途旅行的价廉物关的替代性选择。

总之,我认为长期缓解交通和污染问题有赖于教育公众更多地使用公共交通工具,有赖于政府使用公共资金建造和运营有效的公交系统。

分析

开头段分析

针对Agree or Disagree这类考题,首先要区别事实(fact)和观点(opinion)。事实是题目中的背景,而考生需要回应的是支持还是反对题目中的观点。Agree or Disagree这一类议论文需要在开头段简单介绍议题的背景(fact),然后提出自己的观点(opinion)。不少考生往往在背景介绍上花费太多时间,给予过多描述。其实这一类问题关键是论证观点,而不是铺陈事实。

在本段范文里,作者对首句的处理方式是在题目所提供的信息的基础上,添加了地点状语both in cities and on motorways everywhere,从而指出问题的严重性。然后在第二句指出光靠油价的上涨无法解决问题,明确表示不同意(disagree)题目的观点。

There is no doubt that是在开头段中用来摆事实的常用表达。与此类似的表达还有:it is undeniable that (注:范文下一段话即出现);there is no denying that;it goes without saying that 等。

主体段分析

第二段延续首段末句的观点,具体论证为什么提高燃油价格不是解决日益严重的交通和污染问题的最佳方法,以回应题目中的第一个问题。作者主要提出两方面的理由,一是提价不能真正长远解决开私家车出行者数量的增长问题,二是提价会导致乘坐公共交通工具出行的人的反对。这样一来,无论是相对富有的还是收入一般的人都不会支持燃油提价的做法。在反驳了提价的做法之后,作者指出其实还有其他更有效的措施可以实施,从而引出对题目中第二个问题的回答。

第三段针对污染问题,提出解决方案:使用清洁燃料的电动汽车。

问题共有两个方面:污染和拥堵。作者在第三段指出电动车解决了污染问题,但第四段开头申明电动车无法解决交通拥堵问题。这个问题的解决还有赖于公共交通系统的发展。作者并没有局限于泛泛论证公交系统的重要性,而是非常具体地提出解决拥堵的方法。针对第一段提出的问题既存在于城市、也存在于高速公路上,作者相应地提出两方面的解决方案:城市的拥堵通过高架列车和地铁来解决,而公路拥堵则采取用长途火车和大巴取代自驾车来解决。

结尾段分析

结尾段需要进行总结,但又不能简单地重复主体段的观点。本段没有再次重申不能光依赖提高油价来解决污染和拥堵,也没有提到用电动车技术改进空气质量,而是着重提出公共交通的重要性,并强调这需要大众和政府双方的共同努力。

连贯与衔接

连贯与衔接是雅思议论文评分标准的四大项之一。一篇优秀的雅思作文其连贯与衔接是通过段落之间的逻辑性和段落内部的连贯性达成的。

段落之间的逻辑性主要通过分段和段首逻辑词实现。这篇文章的论证层层递进,段落安排非常合理,在段首逻辑词的使用方面也很得体,比如第一段的There is no doubt that(毫无疑问……),第二段的While it is undeniable that(无可否认……),第四段的However(然而……)和第五段的In conclusion(总之……)。

段落内部的连贯性主要靠衔接词和指代词。这篇文章用到的连接词和短语有as,also,but,then等,指代词有these,it,this,that等。

难词

motorway n. 高速公路

undeniable adj. 不可否认的,无可辩驳的

fuel n. 燃料

implement v. 实施,执行

tackle v. 处理,解决

manufacturer n. 制造商,制造厂

congestion n. 拥塞,拥挤

sufficient adj. 足够的,充足的

alternative n. 供替代的抉择,选择余地

同义表达

日益严重的交通和污染问题:growing traffic and pollution problems(题干),the increase in traffic and pollution(第二段)

燃油价格上涨:rise in the price of petrol(第一段),higher fuel costs(第二段)

开私家车出行:private car use(第二段),driving your own car(第四段)

解决问题:solving these problems(第一段),tackle the problem(第三段)

复杂句式的使用

现在分词作主语:第一段第二句,第三段第三句。

it形式主语句:第二段第一句

让步状语从句:第二段第一句(while引导)

原因状语从句:第二段第二句(as引导)

条件状语从句:第四段第三句(if引导)

定语从句:第二段第三句(that引导),第三段第二句(that引导),第四段第一句(省略了that)

难句分析

1. But there are various other measures that could be implemented that would have a huge effect on these problems.

翻译:但是还有各种其他的措施,一旦实施,即会对这些问题产生巨大影响。

分析:本句中共有两个that引导的定语从句。语法上这两个定语从句都修饰measures,语义上前一个定语从句是后一个定语从句的条件。这个复杂句可以分拆为这样的两句话:But there are various other measures. If these measures could be implemented,it would have a huge effect on these problems. 但这样分拆,不如原句连贯性强,也不够精炼。

2. Long-distance train and coach services should be made attractive and affordable alternatives to driving your own car for long journeys.

翻译:长途列车和长途公共汽车应该成为自驾长途旅行的价廉物美的替代性选择。

分析:本句为被动句。句子的主要框架是:A should be made alternatives to B(A应该成为B的替代方法。)A指的是long-distance train and coach services(长途列车和长途汽车),其中long-distance同时修饰train和coach;B指的是driving your own car for long journeys(长途自驾),句中的to是介词,所以跟在to后面的是动名词结构。

3. In conclusion, I think that long-term traffic and pollution reductions would depend on educating the public to use public transport more, and on governments using public money to construct and run efficient systems.

翻译:总之,我认为长期缓解交通和污染问题有赖于教育公众更多地使用公共交通工具,有赖于政府使用公共资金建造和运营有效的公交系统。

分析:本句难点主要在depend on后面跟着两个并列的宾语,在第二个宾语之前depend 省略了,但on不能省略。第一个宾语是现在分词短语educating the public to use public transport more;第二个宾语是governments using public money to construct and run efficient systems,其中governments充当宾语的逻辑主语。

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剑桥雅思10TEST2 PASSAGE1阅读解析 1. 总体难度概括:中等 2. 文章介绍:标题: tea and the industrial revolution 话题:历史类 3. 词汇准备: a段 anthropological adj. 人类学的 historian n. 史学工作者 wrestle v. 斗争 enigma n. 奥秘 birth n. 诞生 strike v. 罢工;打击;冲击 b段 puzzle n. 谜团 factor n. 因素 drive v. 推动,驱动 affluent adj. 富足的 criteria n. 标准【criterion的复数】 sufficient adj. 足够的 convinced adj. 确信的 c段 propose n. 提议 cupboard n. 柜橱 fuel v. 助燃,加速 antiseptic adj. 防腐的,杀菌的 property n. 性能 tannin n. 单宁酸 ingredient n. 配料 hops n. 啤酒花 succumb v. 屈从 dysentery n. 痢疾 eccentric adj. 奇怪的 deduction n. 推理 skepticism n. 怀疑论 wary adj. 谨慎的 admiration n. 羡慕 strengthen v. 加强 notable adj. 值得注意的

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