短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
①Goldfish金鱼
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!
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斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
②The Revenge 欺骗的代价
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
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老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
③I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
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精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
④How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?"
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当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
⑤Where Am I 我在哪儿
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmer looked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."
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一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”
⑥Why do you never phone me?你为什么不给我打电话？
Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband is dead, but she has one son. He is twe nty-one and his name is Geoff. He worked in the shop in the village and lived with his mother, but then he got work in a town and went ant lived there. Its name was Greensea. It was quite a long way from his mother's village, and she was not happy about this, bu t Geoff said, "There isn't any good work for me in the country, Mother, and I can get a lot of money in Greensea and send you some every week." Mrs Harris was very angry la st Sunday. She got in a train and went to her son's house in Greensea. Then she said to him, "Geoff, why do you never phone me?" Geoff laughed. "But, Mother", he said, "you haven't got a phone." "No," she answered, "I haven't, but YOU'VE got one!"
====================================================================== 我会告诉你这篇没有中文翻译吗。。。
⑦The Same Action Yields the Same Result相同的投资相同的结果
A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appoint ment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pil ot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane a s well." So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he sai d, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed t he area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last y ear."
====================================================================== 有两个猎人包机前往一座森林，到了以后，他们和飞行员约定好两周后来接。两周后，他们射了许多动物，而且打算把这些动物全部搬上那架小飞机，可是飞行员说：“这架飞机除了
一头野牛外，没办法再多载了。你们必须把其他的猎物都留下。” 猎人说：“但是去年另一个飞行员开一样的飞机，就让我们带两只水牛，还有一些其他的动物上机！” 因为他们这样抗议，所以那个新飞行员想了一想后，尽管还是有点存疑，最后还是妥协说：“好吧！如果去年可以做到，今年应该也可以。”所以他装了两头水牛和一些其他的动物。结果飞机起飞五分钟后，就坠落在邻近的地方。这3个人从飞机爬出来看了看四周，其中一个猎人对另一个说：“你认为我们现在在哪儿？” 那个人瞧了一下，说：“我想大概距离去年坠机的地方西边一英哩远！”
⑧Chief is at the wedding 长官在婚礼上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back. "
"But ,officer, I …."
"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."
====================================================================== 大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。“我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。
⑨Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who si ts in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
====================================================================== 父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
⑩Two Birds 两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell u s which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
====================================================================== 老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
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英语小短文带翻译100字20篇
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英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)
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2上帝那里没有现成的果实 三个人千辛万苦找到了上帝，请求他给予帮助。上帝问他们各需要什么。第一个人说他要一座大宅院；第二个人说，他要一个农庄；第三个人说他要一块大金条。上帝说他可以满足他们的需要。于是上帝给了第一个人一堆砖头，给了第二个人一把种子，给了第三个人一把沙子。 No Ready-made Fruit in God’s Hand Three guys finally got the God through trials and errors. They were eager to ask God for help. Right after the God asked what they want, the first man claim a big courtyard, the second a farmstead, and the third a bar of gold. God promised them. At last, the first man was given a pile of bricks, the second a bag of seed and the third a mass of sand. 3虫子的压力 有这么一种虫子，它的体长还不到一毫米，也许因为在电子显微镜下看起来像一头黑熊，所以人们叫它雄虫。它主要生活在淡水的沉渣，潮湿土壤以及苔藓植物的水膜中。最近日本冈山大学物理学家小野文久发现了一个惊人的现象：当20只小熊虫被放入密封的容器内，在实验室制造的7.5万个大气压下，20只熊虫只有两只死亡，其余的18只安然无恙。7.5万个大气压！它相当于每平方豪米要承受700多千克重物的压力，它足以上淀粉瞬间变性，生米顷刻为熟饭。自然条件下，地球上也只有180千米的地幔深处才拥有如此大的压力。 至今没有人能弄清楚熊虫为何如此能忍。不只是出于对这种超强生命力的尊重还是怀疑，有人叫它地狱之虫。一个长度不超过1毫米的微不足道的虫子，能承受命运给他如此的压力，相比较而言，我们这些自称是高级动物，智慧生命，万物之灵的人呢？在人的现实生活中，有多少小小的心结，小小的压力构成我们所谓的生存压力。在这样的压力下又有多少悲观失落之人将美好的人生称作地狱？现在一比才觉得，其实我们的压力就好比是真空，我饿美女的地狱就是天堂中的天堂。在那一刻，我在心里默默地鞠了一躬，不是为熊虫，而是感谢造物主没有把这样的压力降在人间。 W orm’s Pressure This is a worm whose body is no less than one millimeter. It is called 熊虫(XC) perhaps for the reason that it looks like a black bear under the microscop. The XC usually habited in the slurry of fresh water, wet soil and the 水膜of moss plants. Recently, there was an amazing news discovered by 日本冈山大学物理学家小野文久: when 20 little XC were placed in a sealed container under the 7.5 万个大气压making in experiment condition, there were only two died and the other 18 have no trouble at all. 7.5 万个大气压, equal to over 700 kilogram stress per square meter, which is powerful enough to它足以上淀粉瞬间变性and the rice ready to eat. In natural condition, this pressure can only be found in the 地幔beneath the earth 180 kilogram. Till now, nobody have an idea about the tolerance of XC. Someone also call it worm of hell out of admiration or suspicion. A worm, with its length less than one
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短篇励志英语美文摘抄带翻译【三篇】 导读：本文短篇励志英语美文摘抄带翻译【三篇】，仅供参考，如果觉得很不错，欢迎点评和分享。 短篇励志英语美文：A Better Tomorrow People often wonder why historians go to so much trouble to preserve millions of books, documents and records. Why do we have libraries? What good are these documents and history books? Why do we record and save the actions of men, the negotiations1 of government officials and the events during wars? We do it because, sometimes, the voice of experience can cause us to stop, look and listen. Sometimes, past records, when understood in the right way, can help us decide what to do and what not to do. If we are ever to create lasting peace, we must seek its origins in human experience and in the records of human history. From the stories of courage and devotion of men and women, we create the inspirations of youth. History records the suffering, the self-denial2, the devotion, and the heroic deeds of people in the past. These records can help us when we are confused and when we really need peace.
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英语短篇幽默小故事 篇一：英语幽默小故事10篇. 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下： Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
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英语笑话带翻译短一些的 篇一：超简短的5个英文笑话 超简短的5个英文笑话1. Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。 One boy throws his bag out the window. 一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。 Teacher: who just threw that?! 老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了? Boy: Me! I’m going home now. 男孩：我!我现在要回家了。 2. What dog can jump higher than a building? 什么狗比大楼跳的还高? Anydog, buildings can't jump! 任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。 3. What has a head, a tail, and no body? 什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 4. What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛，却看不见? A needle. 针。 5. Wife: "How would you describe me?" 妻子：你会怎么形容我呢? Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife: "What does that mean?" 妻子：那是什么意思? Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢? Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
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4篇英语励志小短文30字【带翻译】4篇英语励志小短文30字一 Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonders, the unfailing childlike appetite of what's next and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station: so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long are you young. 无论是60岁还是16岁，你需要保持永不衰竭的好奇心、永不熄灭的孩提般求知的渴望和追求事业成功的欢乐与热情。在你我的心底，有一座无线电台，它能在多长时间里接收到人间万物传递来的美好、希望、欢乐、鼓舞和力量的信息，你就会年轻多长时间。 4篇英语励志小短文30字二 Sometimes we think of dreams as fantasies - it's easy to do when you have money, rent, and work. But you can't prepare yourself and jump off the cliff: you should grow your wings first. A little bit toward the dream. Step by step. Take a step forward. After all, it's your mission. 有时，我们把梦想看成是幻想——当有钱、有租金、有工作时很容易去做。但是，你也不能不加准备及跳下悬崖：你该先长出自己的翅膀。一点点的朝梦想靠近。一步一步的往前走。往前迈一步吧。毕竟，这是你的使命。
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1----------------精选公文范文----------------1 英语幽默小短文加翻译:20个英语笑话爆笑超短 各位读友大家好，此文档由网络收集而来，欢迎您下载，谢谢 幽默语言是借助于语言工具来建构和表达幽默的一种方式,它是幽默的一种具体的形式。小编整理了英语幽默小短文加翻译，欢迎阅读! 英语幽默小短文加翻译篇一 终身保修 After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he’d originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket.
2----------------精选公文范文----------------2 “What’s so special about this coffin” I asked the funeral director. He replied, “It has a lifetime warranty.” 在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别”，我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。英语幽默小短文加翻译篇二 献错殷勤 At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, “What a small appetite you have tonight, Mr.
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Anydog, buildings can't jump! 任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。 3. What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 4. What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛，却看不见? A needle. 针。
5. Wife: "How would you describe me?" 妻子：你会怎么形容我呢? Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife: "What does that mean?" 妻子：那是什么意思? Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"