Boston Legal英文原版剧本(第一季)
Boston Legal
Head Cases
Season 1, Episode 1
Written by Scott Kaufer & Jeff Rake, and David E. Kelley
? 2004 David E. Kelley Productions. All Rights Reserved
Airdate: October 3, 2004
Transcribed by Sheri for https://www.wendangku.net/doc/0f10709935.html, [version updated June 17, 2006]
Conference Room at Crane Poole & Schmidt
Alan Shore: sitting in the chair to Tara Wilson’s left, sliding some papers from that position on the table so they are in front of the chair to her right. Tara. Sigh
Brad Chase: Hey, I’m Brad Chase from D.C.
Alan Shore:Alan Shore.
Brad Chase: Pleasure. I, ah, think that’s my seat.
Alan Shore:Yes. I did see someone’s things here. I moved them to a less desirable location. Opens his newspaper to read. I’m sorry; we’re not territorial about that sort of thing around here, are we?
Brad Chase walks over to the other chair to sit down.
Denny Crane: Denny Crane. Shakes hands with
Peter Stone: Yes, Denny, I know.
Denny Crane: Ahh . . .
Peter Stone: I run the New York office.
Denny Crane: Oh . . .
Peter Stone: Peter Stone?
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
Chicago partner: I know. I’m . . . um . . . with Chicago.
Denny Crane: My kind of town. Always had the best sex of my life in Chicago. What about you?
Well, um . . .
Denny Crane: Greetings, Tokyo, London.
Nigel: Good morning.
Tokyo partner: Morning, Denny.
Denny Crane:Shaking hands. Brad Chase. There you are, soldier.
Brad Chase: Hey.
Denny Crane: Oh, everybody remembers Brad Chase, I’m sure. Hell, if I do—Good to see you, man. All right, everybody—lock and load. Item 1: Forget Item 1.
Nigel: Well, actually, Denny, item 1 is a rather urgent matter that we must discuss.
Denny Crane: Why don’t you brief us?
Nigel: Gladly. If we . . . Denny Crane hits the mute button on his remote.
Denny Crane: Item 2: Beckerman discovery? What the hell is that?
Jerry Austin: Uh, well, opposing counsel was granted their motion to compel, which means we are now required to turn over all correspondence and scientific studies.
Denny Crane: Hmm, what about the ones we burned before the judge’s orders?
Sam Halpern: We didn’t burn any documents.
Denny Crane: Well, sure we did. Do it today. All right, Nigel, keep going, we’re listening. Clicks remote
Nigel: Uh, if we don’t . . .
Denny Crane:hitting the mute button again Item 3.
Sam Halpern: Damn it, Denny. This is not a way to conduct a staff meeting. Where the hell is Edwin?
Edwin Poole: Sorry I’m late, good people. He walks around the table to reveal—to everyone—he is wearing no pants.
Alan Shore:Is it Casual Monday?
Denny Crane: Edwin, everything all right?
Edwin Poole: Hunky dory.
Quick cut to
The Hallway of Crane Poole & Schmidt
Edwin Poole is strapped onto a gurney in preparation for a ride in an ambulance.
Ambulance attendant: It’s all going to be fine, Mr. Poole.
Boston Legal
Death Be Not Proud
Season 1, Episode 17
Written by David E. Kelley
? 2005 David E. Kelley Productions. All Rights Reserved.
Broadcast: March 20, 2005
Transcribed by Imamess of JSMP for JSMP and https://www.wendangku.net/doc/0f10709935.html,
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Alan Shore is in his office.
Chelina Hall: She comes in.Hey! Pretty boy. How’d you like to go the Texas?
Alan Shore: I’d love to. I haven’t had my shots.
Chelina Hall: I used to work on the Texas Innocence project. One of my cases is up on appeal, and they’ve asked me back to argue. I could really use your help.
Alan Shore: Because?
Chelina Hall: My last appearance, I unfortunately lost my temper with the chief Judge. I’m afraid he could be prejudiced against me. So I’m looking for the best lawyer I can find. I think that’s you.
Alan Shore: What kind of case is this?
Chelina Hall: Capital. The client is scheduled to be executed in sevent-two hours. He could be innocent. What do you say?
Alan Shore: I say I’ve always wanted to go to Texas.
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Shirley Schmidt and Miriam Watson walk into Shirley’s office. Miriam Watson: I certainly appreciate you seeing me, Shirley, I know how busy you are.
Shirley Schmidt: Miriam, how long have we known each other?
Miriam Watson: She sighs. Well, certainly very long, but I am mindful of your hectic schedule and I’m appreciative.
Shirley Schmidt: What’s up?
Miriam Watson: Well, I don’t know exactly how to say this, especially to someone with whom I’ve enjoyed a long and rewarding friendship. But, I’ve gotten myself into a situation; I’m beginning a trial next week in which I’m… uh, the defendant. Ah!
Shirley Schmidt: It’s a criminal case?
Miriam Watson: I’m charged with engaging in sexual conduct for a fee.
Shirley Schmidt: You paid a man to have sex with you?
Miriam Watson: Many times.
Shirley Schmidt: When you say, many times?
Miriam Watson: Hundreds.
Alan and Chelina are in an airplane flying over Texas. Alan is wearing a large white cowboy hat. Chelina Hall: You are not going to wear that once we get there.
Alan Shore: Why not?
Chelina Hall: This court antagonizes easily.
Alan Shore: Understood. How do I look?
Chelina Hall: She just smiles.Client’s name is Ezekial Borns. He likes to be called Zeke. He has an IQ of eighty. He was convicted eight years ago in the shooting death of a gas station attendant. We finally got a DNA test ordered, it came back negative. One would think that would be enough to clear him. But… the problem is, he confessed, after an all-night interrogation. He could have been coerced, maybe brain washed, maybe both. When we land I would like you to go meet Zeke while I try to get a meeting with the DA.
Alan Shore: I assume you already tried the Governor?
Chelina Hall: I’m told he giggled. High Court is our last stop.
Alan Shore: High Court?
Chelina Hall: Texas doesn’t have a Supreme Court, they have two High Courts, one for civil, one for criminal. And the chief Judge on the High Court… we had words on another case.
Alan Shore: When you say you had words…?
Chelina Hall: I called him a disgusting, fat pig.
In Boston, at Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Shirley and Miriam are still in Shirley’s office.
Miriam Watson: Denny Crane?! Oh no! I, I couldn’t possibly…!
Shirley Schmidt: Miriam, listen. Your case comes before Judge Clark Brown. Denny seems to have a take on him.
Miriam Watson: I couldn’t possibly! Shirley. I don’t tell people this, but, Denny and I… I once had relations with him.
Shirley Schmidt: Listen. This many offences, you could be looking at time here. If Denny gives us any advantage at all.
Miriam Watson: I’m so beyond humiliated.
Shirley Schmidt: Which brings me to my next bomb. I see no real defense here, accept perhaps, medical. I’d like to be able to tell the jury that you’re a nymphomaniac.
In Texas, in the hall of a prison,Alan is walking with Father Thomas Martin.
Alan Shore: Has he ever shared with you any information that could possibly contradict his signed confession?
Father Thomas Martin: Uh, no. But I never inquire.
Alan Shore: Not a curious guy, Father?
Father Thomas Martin: Role of clergy is only to get the inmates ready and willing to die.
Alan Shore: He walks up to Zeke Borns’ prison cell and looks through the bars. Zeke? My name is Alan Shore.
Zeke Borns: He and Alan are sitting across a table. I was all doped up. I remember being at the gas station, but...
Alan Shore: Well, Zeke, why did you confess?
Zeke Borns: They kept telling me I did it, and they had witnesses. I knew I had been there. I probably did do it.
Alan Shore: Your confessions didn’t include the word probably? Zeke? You have no memory of shooting the attendant?
Zeke Borns: You’re gonna get me sent to hell is what you’re doing.
Alan Shore: I beg your pardon?
Zeke Borns: I’ve already made my peace with God. If I start sayin I didn’t do it…
Alan Shore: Zeke, I’m trying to prevent your being executed.
Zeke Borns: They’re gonna kill me, Mr Shore. My only salvation’s in the next world. I gotta keep my peace with God.
In Texas, Attorney Gerald Litman is in his office. Chelina is with him.
Chelina Hall: Is this from his trial lawyer?
Attorney Gerald Litman: Went into a twelve-step program. Had to apologize to those he’d let down. Chelina Hall: Has Zeke seen this?
Attorney Gerald Litman: We sent him a copy. Zeke doesn’t write back.
Chelina Hall: Right.
In Boston, at Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Shirley, Tara Wilson and Brad Chase are in the corridor. Tara Wilson: Nymphomania?
Shirley Schmidt: Anything you can find. And we’ll need to line up an expert who can testify possibly as soon as tomorrow.
Brad Chase: It’s not a real disease. It’s an excuse offered up by sex perv sickos.
Shirley Schmidt: Yes, Brad. Thank you for that.
Lori Colson: It’s also a sexist diagnosis, as well as bogus. If a man was running around trying to schtip everything he could, we wouldn’t say that he had a disease we would just call him…
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
Shirley Schmidt: Eeexactly. I’ll need that research ASAP. Denny, right this way. She takes Denny’s arm and leads him away. Thank you for joining.
Denny Crane: I’m a very busy man. I have a caseload you wouldn’t believe. So…
They walk into an office where Miriam is waiting.
Miriam Watson: Hello, Denny.
Denny Crane: Miriam? A beat. Don’t tell me I have another child.
Shirley Schmidt: Miriam has a criminal case beginning tomorrow.
Denny Crane: Criminal!? What did you do?
Shirley Schmidt: I can tell you what she’s charged with. Can I count on your sensitivity?
Denny Crane: Of course.
Shirley Schmidt: She’s charged with engaging in sexual conduct for a fee.
Denny Crane: You’re a hooker?
Miriam Watson: I’m leaving.
Shirley Schmidt: No! She stops Miriam. She paid for sex. She didn’t charge for it. And the Judge is Clark Brown, which as the reason you’re here, in addition to your profound tenderness. We plan to perhaps to use a medical defense of… nymphomania.
Denny Crane: You’re a nymph?
Shirley Schmidt: Denny.
Denny Crane: You mean when you and I went on that… long weekend in Napa, and, and, you did those… things…?
Shirley Schmidt: She was sick.
In Texas, in a bar, Alan and Chelina are watching someone ride a mechanical bull.
Chelina Hall: We have work to do. We can’t…
Alan Shore: I’m not about to go to Texas and not ride the mechanical bull, Chelina. That would be like going to Los Angeles and not sleeping with Paris Hilton.
Chelina Hall: You’ll get hurt.
Alan Shore: Nonsense. I grew up riding the ponies at Pumpkin Patch.
Chelina Hall: Her cell phone rings, she picks it up. Chelina! Yes, we’ve just had a slight delay. Alan wants to ride a bull. A beat. Can you get me the case? Fax it to the motel! Thank you. Evidently an execution got stayed in Connecticut. The lawyers argued something called Death Row Syndrome.
Alan Shore: Death Row Syndrome?
Chelina Hall: The theory being that Death Row can actually overwhelm the will to live and contribute to a general incompetence.
Alan Shore: That could be Zeke.
Chelina Hall: Exactly.
Alan Shore: Notify my next of kin. He walks up to mechanical bull.
Chelina Hall: Oh my God.
Attendant: Novice? Intermediate? Or Expert?
Alan Shore: Expert! I teach it actually.
Alan Shore: He climbs on to the bull.Do I get a whip? The bull starts. Intermediate. Intermediate! Chelina Hall: Her cell phone rings, she picks it up. Chelina! He will! Ten AM is fine! We’ll be in his office. Thanks, Gerry. We got our meeting with the Judge DA!
Alan Shore: Great! Intermediate. Help. Help! Intermediate!
In Boston, at Crane, Poole and Schmidt in the conference room.
Brad Chase: It’s not a real disease.
Shirley Schmidt: But it is part of our culture, Brad. And our role here is as advocates, remember?
Paul Lewiston: Shirley, their point is well-taken. There is an enormous risk with this kind of defense. If the jury rejects it…
Tara Wilson: But, juries often don’t. In 1970 we had the Cable-Car-Nymphomaniac in San Francisco, she was awarded $50,000.00 for a crash that left her with a demonic sex urge.
Paul Lewiston: Ah, that case occurred when the medical community was more open to the diagnosis. Tara Wilson: Well, there are other possible diagnosis as well. She could be Bipolar. There’s also condition known as Cluver Beusy Syndrome. Which can result in Hyper Sexuality.
Paul Lewiston: Miriam Watson is a very successful and private businesswoman. Should we raise nymphomania as a defense the media will have a field day.
Shirley Schmidt: Which is why we’re trying to nip this with a plea bargain, but without some defense we have no leverage.
Denny Crane: Judge Brown.
Shirley Schmidt: Come again?
Denny Crane: I don’t like it when you say that, Shirley. Puts pressure on me.
Shirley Schmidt: What about Judge Brown?
Denny Crane: He’s a virgin.
Paul Lewiston: And that would be relevant, how?
Denny Crane: If he saw in our client… an opportunity?
Lori Colson: May I speak to you two a second? To Paul and Shirley, away from the others. This is not funny. That man is a senior partner here, and the only time of the day he’s not making lude sexual comments or inferences is when he’s doing so blatantly.
Shirley Schmidt: Lori…
Lori Colson: No, Shirley, I am sick of it. I am making an official complaint. To Shirley. You’re on notice. To Paul. And you’re on notice. I’ve had enough.
In Texas, Attorney Gerald Litman is in his office. Alan and Chelina are with him.
Chelina Hall: First, you cannot, cannot, argue the morality of the Death Penalty. Every Judge sitting up there is for it.
Alan Shore: Clearly.
Chelina Hall: Second, do not mention Zeke’s innocence.
Alan Shore: I’m sorry?
Chelina Hall: They won’t listen. He did confess.
Alan Shore: Isn’t it the DNA test that got us the appeal?
Chelina Hall: The DNA here does not exonerate him.
Alan Shore: But it certainly indicates the presence of somebody else at the murder scene.
Attorney Gerald Litman: Proving innocence is one thing, but since we can’t do that, our case here is procedural. The DNA result is ancillary evidence, which hopefully will occasion them to look at procedural flaws. Does that make any sense?
Alan Shore: Yes it does. This is Texas.
In Boston, Judge Clark Brown’s chambers.
Judge Clark Brown: I must say I agree with the District Attorney. If this were a one time offense. But the complaint ledges over a hundred infractions! It’s shocking.
Denny Crane: If I may, Your Honor. This is a victimless crime.
Judge Clark Brown: Victimless? When somebody’s action impugns the values of society, we are all victims.
Denny Crane: Yes, yes, yes. We’re all that. But consider the shy people.
Judge Clark Brown: The shy people?
Denny Crane: Yes. If one were a single man, painfully shy, a virgin, time running out, one might, like to meet this woman. She could… help one.
In Texas, A.D.A. Glenn Jackson is in his office. Alan and Chelina are with him.
Chelina Hall: He’s mentally impaired, Glenn. You know this. Your own expert said so. He was born with severe fetal alcohol syndrome.
A.D.A. Glenn Jackson: Chelina, this was all raised at trial. Now at some point a finding has to be final. Alan Shore: I’m sorry. I realize I’m new, but didn’t the Supreme Court rule you can’t execute mentally retarded people.
A.D.A. Glenn Jackson: He has an IQ of eighty. The cutoff point for retardation in Texas is seventy. Chelina Hall: Did you even read the prison reports on Zeke’s character?
A.D.A. Glenn Jackson: This isn’t about whether he’s been a good boy in prison. The point is what he did at the gas station.
Alan Shore: Perhaps he didn’t do it. He has an IQ of eighty. All you really have is a confession which most likely was a product of coercion, no weapon was found; DNA placed someone else at the scene. How about on the possibility of Zeke Borns’ innocence, we hold off just a bit on killing him?
A.D.A. Glenn Jackson: Ha. You must be new to Texas, Mr Shore.
In Texas, Alan and Chelina are leaving the D.A.’s office building.
Chelina Hall: I told you not to raise innocence.
Alan Shore: How can we not raise it? It’s…
Chelina Hall: Judges hear it all the time. Don’t you get it? My client is innocent. My client is innocent. Every single complaint case. It’s the standard refrain. It has no impact when you can’t actually prove it. Which we can’t. The tryer of fact found him guilty.
Alan Shore: That doesn’t mean we can’t argue…
Chelina Hall: Look! I’ve done this before. I know the way it works down here. Our claim has to be procedural. It’s only chance Zeke has. And before you march into court, and tell everybody that the confession was coerced? Keep in mind, Zeke hasn’t recanted. He’s still maintaining he did it.
In Boston, at Crane, Poole and Schmidt, in the corridor, Shirley walks up to Lori.
Shirley Schmidt: Lori? While we understand your issues with Denny. While we are certainly taking steps to resolve them. I don’t think you mean to lodge an official complaint of sexual harassment.
Lori Colson: Shirley…
Shirley Schmidt: Because if you do, we are required by law to initiate certain procedures. It could get very messy for all involved.
Lori Colson: Is that a threat?
Shirley Schmidt: He is ultimately a benign man who we all happen to care about, including you. I think what you really mean to do is to voice your concern, unofficially.
Lori Colson: I am making an official complaint. If there’s paperwork to be filled out, please have the forms sent to my office. She walks away.
Shirley Schmidt: You little bitch!
In Texas, in a prison, Alan and Chelina are talking to Zeke. A guard is watching in the background. Chelina Hall: There is no evidence of you ever having had a gun before. Or, or every shooting one. Zeke, I certainly don’t wanna put words in your mouth, but if you have no memory of doing it…? If you don’t recant, by this time tomorrow, you will be dead.
Zeke Borns: I’m gonna be dead, no matter what. The question is, do I go with God on my side or not? Alan Shore: From what little I know of God, Zeke He’s on your side no matter what. He also favors the side of truth. If the truth is you didn’t do it…?
Zeke Borns: I did drugs, I stole, I was a bad person. And now I need to be a strong person. I need to have courage now for once. I’m gonna be brave.
In Boston, in Judge Clark Brown’s courtroom. Miriam is on the stand.
Miriam Watson: After my marriage dissolved my sexual desire became inflamed. I was in a few relationships and my appetite took on more the form of an addiction.
Shirley Schmidt: When you say addiction?
Miriam Watson: Now, whenever I so much as look at an able-bodied man my southern region turns tropical.
Shirley Schmidt: And this compulsion led you to male prostitutes?
Miriam Watson: Where else was I to go? I’m a fifty-six year old woman, it’s not as if I can walk into a bar, or… I suppose if I were in a relationship. She turns her heads to smile at Judge Clark Brown.
Shirley notices and shoots a horrified look at Denny, who acts innocent.
In Boston, at Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Shirley throws her briefcase down on the table.
Shirley Schmidt: What the hell was that? My southern region turns tropical? That little look to the Judge? Miriam looks at Denny who is all smiles. Did you coach her to do that?
Denny Crane: If the Judge likes us, he gives us a good instruction, it’s as simple as that. Might even give us a directed verdict. I’m sensing some intent issues with the prosecutions case. I can feel it. The Judge has intent issues.
In Texas, in a hotel room, Chelina is sitting in the middle of a bed.
Alan Shore: These judges are only human, Chelina. They certainly have to appreciate the possibility of his innocence here. He pours himself a cup of coffee.
Chelina Hall: When I left this job I told everybody it was because I wanted to make more money. The truth is I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t take seeing clients die.
Alan Shore: Did you win any? Chelina scoffs.Sometimes you must have prevailed; I remember reading a death penalty was overturned here just last year. He sits down on the bed.
Chelina Hall: Yeah. A New York firm volunteered to handle it. Took them ten years and cost five million dollars. The state of Texas has the most overwhelmed and under-funded defense bar in the country. They get $25,000 dollars to appeal a death case. The prosecutors have an unlimited budget. It’s a joke, Alan.
Alan Shore: We have good grounds here. Trial lawyer has admitted he provided inadequate council. Chelina Hall: Alan, this is the court that held a sleeping lawyer isn’t necessarily inadequate. You have to show he was sleeping during the important parts. You asked me before, ‘Why Texas, instead of having a Supreme Court, it has two High courts?’ The reason is to speed up the death cases. They’ve cut the time
it takes to execute people, in half. It’s why Texas leads the country in executions. Proudly. Seven of the nine judges you will face tomorrow are former prosecutors! She starts to cry.
Alan Shore: Hey. He gets up, places his cup on bedside table and sits down on the bed closer to her. Hey. I promise you, by the time I finish tomorrow; those judges, every last one of them, will rise up and say, “Never mind executing Ezekial Borns, let’s kill Alan Shore instead.”
Chelina Hall: She chuckles and looks up, they kiss breifly. I’m sorry. Maybe we… We should probably get back to work.
Alan Shore: Yeah. He gets up and walks away.
In Texas, in the courthouse hallway, Chelina is pacing as she’s talking on her cell phone.
Chelina Hall: …public presence here, Gerry? There’s one protestor outside.
Attorney Gerald Litman: Heard through cell phone. What am I gonna do, Chelina? It’s just not as big a story as it used to be.
Chelina Hall: We’d be better of with nobody, than one!? I’ll call you after. She glances down at her watch, then back up. She smiles. In slow motion Alan comes through the double-doors, bursting them open with arms wide. Wearing a light-colored cowboy hat, he looks like Texas gun-slinger. The camera pans down to his hands, one is empty, the other is carrying a briefcase, camera pans down to his feet. He expression is very solemn as he plants his feet directly in from of Chelina. I told you, you are not wearing that hat. Take it off. Takes it off his head and places it on hers. Listen... Last night... Sometimes lawyers will bond over a cause, and while I…
Alan Shore: He places his finger on her lips. Chelina. Let’s go argue the cause.
Chelina Hall: Remember this motion is a nuisance to them. They will antagonize you. If you even feel yourself wanting to retaliate, you say, “With all due respect, may it please the court.”
Alan Shore: He nods. Anything else?
Chelina Hall: Persevere. They will try to shut you down before you even begin. Persevere.
Alan Shore: Got it.
In Boston, in Judge Clark Brown’s courtroom.
Judge Clark Brown: There is no question the defendant entered into a transaction for which sex with some all consideration. However. Denny mouths the word along with the Judge, Shirley looks at him suspiciously. One element of this crime is criminal intent. The burden is on the prosecution to prove this element beyond all reasonable doubt. If a medical condition deprived the defendant of her free will, or even unduly influenced her, she lacked that intent. Since the prosecution failed to eliminate Hyper Sexuality, or Bipolar Syndrome, or Cluver Beusy Syndrome as a cause for her conduct. Well! Then I feel I have no choice but to deliver a verdict… Denny still mouthing along. …in favor of… He looks at Miriam. …the defendant. Ms Watson? You are free to go.
Miriam is all smiles.
Denny Crane: Shirley looks at him, he looks back innocently. What?
In Boston in the courthouse hallway.
Shirley Schmidt: You got to that Judge!
Denny Crane: Chewing on a cigar.I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Shirley Schmidt: You knew his ruling by heart.
Denny Crane: Boilerplate.
Shirley Schmidt: A ruling that was ridiculously pro-defense.
Denny Crane: Denny Crane.
Shirley Schmidt: She grabs his cigar from his mouth.What did you do? Promise him a date with our client?
Denny Crane: First of all I would never ever do anything like that. Never! Secondly, if I did I would never, ever tell you. Never! Third… Shirley Schmidt: She stuffs Denny’s cigar back in his mouth. To Miriam. And you. Was there any Quid Pro Quo here?
Miriam Watson: How dare you?
Shirley Schmidt: Oh, never mind, ‘How dare me?’ You’re a serial intercourser! That ruling was suspect! To Denny. Bribing a Judge?!
Denny Crane: Never did that.
Shirley Schmidt: Well, the two of you are going to have to live with yourselves on this one. For now, like the Judge says, you’re free to go. As is your lip.
In Texas, in a courtroom, in front of nine Judges..
A.D.A. Glenn Jackson: Ezekial Borns murdered a man in cold blood for a few dollars. He confessed to it. The Petitioner has gone up and down State and Federal courts, exhausting his appeals, losing his habeas arguments, and failing on claims of constitutional violations. Four different courts of appeal have reviewed and rejected each and every one of his arguments. Now is the time for this man to pay the penalty imposed on him fairly and legally. A Texas jury had decided that Ezekial Borns is a dangerous killer. He has forfeited his right to live. Thank you.
Chelina Hall: Alan moves to get up. Chelina stops him to softly remind him. With all due respect, may it please the court. Alan nods.
Alan Shore: Good afternoon. My name is Alan Shore.
Judge Christopher Serra: Mr Shore! What are new issues being raised here?
Alan Shore: The first issue before the court concerns the absence of any African-American jurors.
Judge Lance Abrams: That was previously argued and ruled on, Counsel.
Alan Shore: Yes. Before the lower courts. This bench has never considered…
Judge Christopher Serra: We’re not persuaded that the absence of a black juror is in violation of due process. What’s your next issue?
Alan Shore: I would turn the court’s attention to the fact that the Grand Jury which indicted Mr Borns, similarly, was all white. This raises equal protection laws that…
Judge Christopher Serra: That issue was never raised and is therefore waived.
Alan Shore: Your Honor, Texas Law requires that the jury recommend death only in cases where they find that the defendant poses a threat of future dangerousness to society. We maintain this is unconstitutional. Juries are supposed to find on elements of guilt and innocence based on facts beyond a reasonable doubt. Not on the basis of perceived probabilities. Moreover, as a practical matter, since Ezekial Borns will remain in prison for life, he couldn’t possibly constitute a future threat to society, unless the law assumes prison breaks.
Judge Christopher Serra: That’s an interesting issue, Counsel, but uh, that also was never raised and therefore it is deemed waived. Next?
Alan Shore: May it please the court. Mr Borns’ trial lawyer has recently admitted he was ineffective counsel. He was abusing cocaine and alcohol during the trial, and...
Judge Martha Brenford: Not legally inadequate.
Alan Shore: I believe if you examine the transcripts…
Judge Lance Abrams: Mr Shore. Representation can always be better. Especially when we play Monday morning quarterback.
Alan Shore: With all due respect, this lawyer never gave an opening statement, he never questioned several of the prosecution’s witnesses, he failed to pursue a number of leads and important sentencing issues. This court right here today has recognized that many valid grounds for appeal were never raised. Judge Christopher Serra: This court is satisfied that the representation was adequate. Is there anything else?
Alan Shore: A beat.Yes. Mr Borns may be innocent.
Judge Christopher Serra: The jury disagreed. And legally that issue has been settled.
Alan Shore: The DNA evidence shows somebody else was there.
Judge Christopher Serra: But it does not disprove that your client was also there. And, your guy confessed by the way.
Alan Shore: My client has an IQ of eighty; he was interrogated for sixteen hours.
Judge Lance Abrams: Coercion was never raised.
Alan Shore: It was never raised because his lawyer was an inadequate hack! Though the nine of you seem quite satisfied with his performance. With all due respect.
Judge Christopher Serra: Mr Shore? You came down here from Massachusetts?
Alan Shore: Yes. Sir.
Judge Christopher Serra: We in Texas have been living with this case for eight years.
Alan Shore: You’ve been living with it personally? May it please the court.
Judge Christopher Serra: You first met Mr Borns, when?
Alan Shore: Yesterday.
Judge Christopher Serra: And you are proposing to us, that you know him. You know what I’d like to propose? I’d like to propose that you got a problem with the death penalty in general. Now, is that why you came here, Sir?
Alan Shore: I am here. With all due respect, may it please the court, because I have a problem with the State executing a man with diminished capacity. Who may very well be innocent! I’m particularly troubled,
may it please the court, with all due respect, that you don’t have a problem with it. You may not want to regard my client’s innocence, but you cannot possibly disregard the fact that 117 wrongfully convicted people have been saved from execution in this country. 117! The system is hardly foolproof. And Texas! This State is responsible for a full third of all executions in America. How can that be? The criminals are just somehow worse here? Last year you accounted for fully half of the nation’s executions. Fifty percent from one State! You cannot disregard the possibility, the possibility, that something’s up in Texas.
Judge Lance Abrams: I would urge you to confine your remarks to your client, and not the good state of Texas.
Alan Shore: Zeke Borns never had a chance. He was rounded up as a teenager, thrown in a cell while he was still doped up on drugs, brow-beaten and interrogated, until his IQ of eighty was overcome, he confessed to a crime he had no memory of, still has no memory of, for which there is no evidence, other than two witnesses who saw him pumping gas around the time of the murder. He was given a coked-up lawyer, who admittedly did nothing. I’m now before nine presumably intelligent people in the justice business, who have the benefit of knowing all of this. Add to that, you know DNA places somebody else at the scene, and you’re indifferent! You don’t care! Whether you believe in my client’s innocence, and I’ll assume, with all due respect, may it please the court, that you don’t! You cannot be sure of his guilt! You simply cannot! And failing that, how can you kill him? How can you kill him? He turns away from the podium and walks back behind the table. And I would sincerely, sincerely, sincerely, hope that you don’t penalize my client, simply because his lawyers happen to be from Massachusetts. He moves to sit down, then rises. The home of the New England Patriots, who could kick ass over any football team you’ve got in the good state of Texas. May it please the court.
In Texas, Alan and Chelina are waiting at the prison.
Alan Shore: I am so sorry.
Chelina Hall: No. You don’t have to apologize. They gave you nothing. You had no choice but to go with your passion. Could have left out the slight on Texas football. But… A beat. You were strong, Alan. And maybe you reached them. She sees the guards taking Zeke from his prision cell. She runs up to them. The court hasn’t ruled yet!
Warden Silverman: Six hours before, he goes to Huntsville. That’s the law.
Alan Shore: What’s in Huntsville? Bleachers?
Zeke Borns: The deathhouse. They put me in the Walls unit.
Chelina Hall: Why move him if there’s still a chance? Her cell phone rings, she picks it up. Gerry? Warden Silverman: No cell phones in here.
Chelina Hall: Just now? She closes the phone. They turned us down.
A beat.
Zeke Borns: Well, let’s go then.
Chelina Hall: I’m so sorry, Zeke.
Zeke Borns: Well, I’m ready Chelina. I’m gonna be strong like a hero, you watch. Will you watch? I want people to see me strong. I got no family. Will you come?
Chelina Hall: Sure. We’ll be there.
Warden Silverman: Let’s go, Zeke.
The guards take Zeke away.
Alan Shore: I’m going to see the Governor.
In Boston, at Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Shirley is in her office. Paul is with her.
Paul Lewiston: He bribed the Judge?
Shirley Schmidt: I can’t be sure. But I think he had some undue influence. As much as I adore him, it’s only a matter of time before he brings this place to its knees.
Paul Lewiston: He’s the named partner. The lead, named partner.
Shirley Schmidt: I think we’ve gotta take him out.
In Texas, in a room next to the execution room, Chelina is talking to Zeke through prison bars. Zeke Borns: I get ice cream. Chocolate.
Chelina Hall: Yeah. You said.
Zeke Borns: They said maybe sprinkles. Guess I don’t need to worry about my cholesterol.
Alan Shore: A guard lets him in. Governor’s in Hawaii. Not available. There’s still hope however. I made a few calls to track down a women I know who’s actually performing in charity Luau where the Governor is scheduled to be. Polynesian dancer.
Chelina Hall: So you’re saying this whole thing could come down to a…?
Alan Shore: A hula girl. I know this girl. She’s good. Zeke…?
Zeke Borns: Let’s do this. I’m ready to die. I’m strong.
Alan Shore: To the guard. Would you excuse us for a minute please? The guard leaves. Zeke, you talked about being a hero. Strong and brave, may not go with hero here.
Zeke Borns: What do you mean?
Alan Shore: The State of Texas wants people to believe you’re a monster. I think you should show them you’re a human being. The human thing to do here is be afraid. If you wanna be a hero, show people what it really feels like to be executed. We’re led to believe it’s peaceful, painless, humane even. I think you should fight to the end, Zeke. And show your fear.
Zeke Borns: This cause you’re against the death penalty? Right?
Alan Shore: Well. Whether a person is for or against the death penalty, he or she should just know what it is. The best way for you to be a hero Zeke, is to be human.
In Boston, at Crane, Poole and Schmidt, in her office, Tara is on the phone.
Tara Wilson: I’ve also included a brief synopsis of the case history, should he care to peruse it over his Mie Tie. Excellent, Angela. Paul comes and stands in the doorway. Well, you have my number, you also have Alan’s and I’ve also given you Chelina’s cell and number at the Wall’s unit. Thank you. Aloha. Make speed.
Paul Lewiston: He’s actually petitioning the Texas Governor, by way of…?
Tara Wilson: Hula girl. Justice works in strange ways, Paul. Ask Judge Brown.
Paul Lewiston: Did Denny bribe him?
Tara Wilson: I can only guess.
Paul Lewiston: Tara, do you ever feel sexually harassed by Denny?
Tara Wilson: Never.
Paul Lewiston: He never objectifies you?
Tara Wilson: All men objectify me.
Paul Lewiston: I don’t. Tara doesn’t answer. I don’t!
Tara Wilson: Her phone rings. Hello, Angela?
In Texas, at the Walls unit, Alan and Chelina walk into observation room.
Alan Shore: He’s talking on cell phone. Yes. Without question. He must be there, Angela. I got his schedule directly from his press secretary’s assistant. You got my fax? In your hand? Then find the Governor and get it in his hand. We have less than ten minutes, maybe five. The guards bring in Zeke, he is in chains. ‘Kay.
A.D.A. Glenn Jackson: No cell phones are allowed in here. How’d you get by with that?
Alan Shore: I told the guard we’re waiting for a last minute call from your conscience. Collect.
Chelina Hall: You see that guy? Media. One guy. It’s not even a story.
Alan and Chelina go to sit in front of a window with bars and glass through which they see a table with wrist and ankle straps. The guards remove Zeke’s chains.
Zeke Borns: Do I get to say my last words now?
Warden Silverman: If you like.
Zeke Borns: It’s just,,, I don’t know if I did it. But, if I did I’m sorry, you know?
Warden Silverman: Time to get on now.
Zeke Borns: Okay. Thank you. For everything. The guards lead Zeke to the table. Zeke starts to struggle, the guards force him down on the table and place straps around his wrist and stomach. Chelina can’t watch. Zeke’s hand reaches toward Alan and Chelina. Alan forces himself to watch as a guard inserts a needle. Zeke breaths heavily.
Boston Legal
Let Sales Ring
Season 1, Episode 16
Written by David E. Kelley
? 2005 David E. Kelley Productions. All Rights Reserved.
Broadcast: March 13, 2005
Transcribed by Imamess of JSMP for JSMP and https://www.wendangku.net/doc/0f10709935.html,
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Denny Crane and Milton Bombay are walking arm-in-arm to Denny's office.
Denny Crane: My friend, I can't tell you how good it is to see you. I gotta be honest with you, I thought you were dead.
Milton Bombay: Never felt better in my life.
Denny Crane: Oh, come on. That's a lie. Look at you.
How's Sylvie?
Milton Bombay: Sylvie is dead.
Denny Crane: Fantastic. And the kids?
Milton Bombay: Denny, the last time we spoke you mentioned that despite astronomical odds you managed to become yet an even better lawyer.
Denny Crane: Hard to believe, isn't it?
Milton Bombay: I have a motion which obviously I'm quite capable of arguing myself, being more talented than you...
Denny Crane: No, you're not.
Milton Bombay: I also happen to be the client. The case is also extremely unconventional. A beat. I want to be frozen.
Denny Crane: What do you mean?
Milton Bombay: I mean I want to be frozen and stored in a cryonic institute.
Denny Crane: What do you mean?
Milton Bombay: I'm 78 years old. It won't be long before my body starts to wither. I've lived a full life. The technology will soon exist that I will be able to double that life. I wanna be frozen and stored until such time that technology becomes a reality.
Denny Crane: What do you mean?
Milton Bombay: I mean when I leave this world I don't want it to be forever, which means for now I wanna frozen!
Denny Crane: What do you mean?
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, in Denny’s office through an interior window, Paul Lewiston and Denny watch Milton take his leave of Brad Chase and Lori Colson.
Paul Lewiston: So basically he wants to be euthanized?
Denny Crane: And preserved on ice. Evidently, there's some Right To Privacy law I've never heard of.
Paul Lewiston: Why should you? It's in the Constitution.
Shirley Schmidt: She comes in. What's Milton Bombay doing here?
Paul Lewiston: He wants to be frozen and stored in a cryonics facility.
Shirley Schmidt: Raising her hand. All in favor?
Paul Lewiston: And he wants Denny to argue it.
Shirley Schmidt: Huh. And what could possibly occasion him to want that?
Paul Lewiston: The problem is the basis of the case, if there is one, would lie in the Bill of Rights which Denny, of course, feels never should have been passed.
Denny Crane: We're one Supreme Court appointment away from overturning.
Shirley Schmidt: The Bill of Rights?
Denny Crane: Damn right. Red States rule.
Shirley Schmidt: Paul, there seems to be some psychological deficit in play here. To Denny. I refer to Milton's, not yours. Any person who wants to be frozen should perhaps be referred to a therapist, not a lawyer.
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, in library, Chelina Hall walks up to Alan Shore.
Chelina Hall: Hey! Pretty boy. I hear you're looking for some interesting cases. She and Alan shake hands. Chelina Hall. We haven't officially met.
Alan Shore: Yes. I've peeped at you in the girls' room, unofficially.
Chelina Hall: Cute. Come with me? She takes him to her office.Stuart Milch. Alan Shore. Stuart Milch: He and Alan shake hands. A pleasure, sir. Thanks again for agreeing to see me. Alan Shore: Not at all. Especially since I’ve made no such agreement.
Chelina Hall: Show him the gizmo, Stuart. Stuart places something in Alan’s hand. Tell him what it is, Stuart.
Stuart Milch: It's called a newsblocker. It’s sold off the Internet. You attach it to the coaxial input on your television. And it basically blocks news transmissions.
Alan looks at Chelina.
Chelina Hall: It's true.
Stuart Milch: My high school principal attached these devices to all the televisions in the building. The problem is, it turns out it only blocks only one network. The most fair and balanced one. All the others, kids can watch.
Alan Shore: It singles out one network only?
Stuart Milch: Yes, because this network supposedly pushes a Conservative agenda. Which is a lot of hooey! This is blatant censorship. It further is evidence of a liberal media bias, and I for one am sick of it.He takes the gizmo from Alan. In all my years.
Alan Shore: In all his years.
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Denny, Shirley and Milton are in Denny's office.
Shirley Schmidt: Milton, I consider you a friend. Actually, I don't, I find you a bit boorish. But, I have always enjoyed your unfettered candor and in the spirit of that candor, the case cannot be won. Given that this is the only lifetime you'll ever get to have, please don't waste what's left of it in the vast cavernous sinkhole known as our system of jurisprudence.
Milton Bombay: I made my life in that system. I rose to the very top of this system.
Denny Crane: No, you didn't.
Shirley Schmidt: Milton, no Judge is going to let you be euthanized and stashed in a Sub-Zero. A brand of refrigerator/freezer.
Milton Bombay: We cannot know that unless we try, Shirley.
Shirley Schmidt: I know you recently retired. Is this...?
Milton Bombay: And please do not proffer psychological counsel. I came in here in search of legal and intellectual acuity.
Shirley Schmidt: And you sought out Denny?
Milton Bombay: I assure you this is something I considered with all due gravity. I came to a decision and now I appeal to you as my attorney to help me execute that decision. Do I make myself clear?
Shirley Schmidt: Perfectly. We're talking about your execution.
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Tara Wilson, Brad and Shirley are in the kitchen.
Tara Wilson: Frozen?
Brad Chase: That's why he's here?
Shirley Schmidt: If there's any legal research on point, which I doubt there is, the sooner the better. By way of analogy you might wanna look at assisted suicide or right-to-die. Brad, you take the math and science because you're male and therefore more innately qualified. Anything and everything you can find on cryonics' technology.
Lori Colson: She joins the conversation.Wait. This firm is actually going to help Milton Bombay be put on ice?
Catherine Piper: She is there too.Oh, come now, Lori, you of all people should know it's not so bad to go through life as a Popsicle.
Lori Colson: What is that supposed to mean?
Catherine Piper: Nothing. My! Everybody's so sensitive. Can't we all just get along? She leaves. Shirley Schmidt: We go to court this morning so… as fast as you can.
Courtroom Judge Peter Harding’s courtroom.
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: First of all, students have no vested rights whatsoever to watch any news during school.
Alan Shore: But they are allowed to do so at Winslow Hall, except for one network.
Judge Peter Harding: Ms Tyler, is this particular broadcast being singled out on content? Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: Even if it is, Your Honor, schools have the right to legislate content. Just as we can search students' lockers.
Alan Shore: Objection to the spin, Judge. This is a no-spin zone.
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: A school principal is not subject to grounds of reasonableness when it comes to policy.
Alan Shore: This is the First Amendment in play here. What's next? Burning a few books?
Judge Peter Harding: Ms Tyler, I must say, this has a bad stink to it.
Alan Shore: Ha.
Judge Peter Harding: How do you ban one network news program and not the others?
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: The principal felt this particular network was detrimental.
Judge Peter Harding: Well, I wanna hear from the principal in this witness chair, or I'm going to grant the petitioner's motion right now.
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: Fine. I can get him here this afternoon.
Judge Peter Harding: We'll adjourn for lunch. Be back at 4:00.
At the courthouse, Denny, Milton and Shirley come off the elevator and are greeted by the media.
Female Reporter: There they are! Reporters and photographers run up to them.
Male Reporter: Mr Bombay, why are you doing this?
Milton Bombay: It's simply about wanting to continue my legacy for centuries to come. I'm perhaps the greatest lawyer of all time and I want that time to continue...
Denny Crane: No, he's not. I'm better. Denny Crane. I’m better.
Milton Bombay: ...into the future.
Denny Crane: How are you, sweetie? Still the king. Denny Crane.
In Judge James Billmeyer’s courtroom.
Shirley Schmidt: Mr Bombay, you are asking for a court order to end your life.
Milton Bombay: Under today's science. Tomorrow might be quite different.
Shirley Schmidt: But, Sir, let's be realistic.
Milton Bombay: Why the hell do I have to be realistic? It's my body. What do I have to do? Get pregnant?
Shirley Schmidt: Well, you may be couching this in pro-life terms, but in today's scientific world being frozen makes you dead.
Milton Bombay: I am asking for the chance to be alive in tomorrow's world. To play with my great great great great grandchildren.
Assistant Attorney General Doug Beecham:Do you have grandchildren today?
Milton Bombay: I've got six. All grown. Three of them love me.
Assistant Attorney General Doug Beecham: Ha ha, Suppose one of them came into the court at say, the age of 30, asking to be frozen?
Milton Bombay: I'd say wait. You've got a lot of years.
Assistant Attorney General Doug Beecham:Well, but maybe they would like it done before their body starts to go south, which at 30, it can.
Milton Bombay: Look, I don't advocate this for young, healthy people.
Assistant Attorney General Doug Beecham:But certainly if you can decide for yourself, so should others, right?
Milton Bombay: I'm close to 80. My life is almost over.
Assistant Attorney General Doug Beecham:Does one have to be old to get this autonomy? How about somebody 35, with cancer?
Milton Bombay: If it was incurable? Yes.
Assistant Attorney General Doug Beecham:Parkinson's Disease? MS? What if somebody wanted to get frozen to avoid the draft?
Denny Crane: Let him move to Canada. Freeze his balls off. The Judge gives him a look. Denny Crane.
At the courthouse, Denny, Shirley and Milton are coming out of the courtroom.
Milton Bombay: Why did you do that?
Denny Crane: You were getting picked apart.
Milton Bombay: No, I was not. I was doing just fine.
Denny Crane: I had to stop the other side's momentum.
Shirley Schmidt: Boys!
Milton Bombay: Like shooting spitballs at a battle ship. I was having a real moment in there, and you stepped on it!
Shirley Schmidt: Boys, we need to get back to the office and prepare our expert.
Milton Bombay: You stepped on my moment.
Denny Crane: Did not.
Shirley Schmidt: Boys!
Milton Bombay: He did step on it.
In Judge James Billmeyer’s courtroom, Dr. Malcolm Freemont is on the stand.
Dr. Malcolm Freemont: Cryonics proponents don't refer to the patient as dead, simply, "preserved."
Shirley Schmidt: Frozen?
Dr. Malcolm Freemont: Yes.
Shirley Schmidt: But, Doctor, if the person's heart isn't beating; if there's no brain activity, we tend to call them dead?
Dr. Malcolm Freemont: Under today's medical definition, yes. But the definition of cryonics is basically a process using a very cold temperature to prevent people from dying.
Denny Crane:Under his breath to Milton. Where'd we get this quack?
Milton Bombay: Shhh.
Shirley Schmidt: Uh, Doctor. Let's be fair. Has anyone ever been brought back to life after being frozen?
Dr. Malcolm Freemont: No, and it's not likely to happen soon. But the technology is changing. We're discovering more and more about molecular nanotechnology everyday. And one day, it will be a reality.
Denny Crane: A molecular what?
Shirley Schmidt: One second, Doctor. She leans in to Denny. Denny, I'm gonna try something here. I don't have time to explain. I just need you to go with it, okay? Denny nods. I want you to count backwards from a hundred, silently.
Denny Crane: Why?
Shirley Schmidt: I'll explain later. It's important.
Denny Crane: Uh, 99, 98. Shirley motions him to count silently.
Shirley Schmidt: Okay, Doctor. We've heard that cryonics is in our future; but, please, give me one example, one piece of evidence that indicates that this could possibly work.
Dr. Malcolm Freemont: The wood frog.
Shirley Schmidt: I'm sorry. Did you say, “Wood frog?”
Dr. Malcolm Freemont: Ah, yes. A frog in the Canadian Arctic that hibernates and completely freezes in the winter. Denny concentrates on counting silently. No heartbeat, no brain activity. It goes completely dead by today's definition of death. Then in the spring, it wakens, brain activity resumes, heart starts beating. It's alive again.
Shirley Schmidt: And you think, if it's possible for a frog....?
Dr. Malcolm Freemont: Why not for a human? If we can accomplish total metabolic arrest with no tissue damage, we will be able to freeze people for thousands of years and bring them back to life.
Shirley Schmidt: Thank you, Doctor.
Assistant Attorney General Doug Beecham:Humans are warm-blooded animals, designed to stay at 98 degrees. Those frogs are cold-blooded with a completely different molecular structure. Dr. Malcolm Freemont: Admittedly, the future of cryonics involves the development of molecular technology.
Assistant Attorney General Doug Beecham:For which there is no evidence it can work with warm-blooded animals.
Dr. Malcolm Freemont: Yes, there is. We have frozen rat livers, thawed them and transplanted them into living rats. In Israel they did it with frozen hearts. In both cases the rats lived--not for long--but the livers and hearts did come back to life. With humans, we've frozen heart valves...
Assistant Attorney General Doug Beecham:And you think the idea of freezing people is ethical? Is that consistent with....?
Dr. Malcolm Freemont: It's evidently ethical to freeze embryos. But again, I'm up here to give you the science, not engage in a moral debate.
Denny is still counting silently.
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Denny, Milton and Shirley are walking in the corridor.
Milton Bombay: He kicked their ass! And the best part of it was he had integrity, which is what you need in your expert. What'd he cost us?
Shirley Schmidt: Twenty-five hundred.
Milton Bombay: The whore!
Tara Wilson: She comes up.Schmidt.
Shirley Schmidt: How we doing?
Tara Wilson: The leading federal case would be Chiavo. It’s not First Circuit, but since the Supreme Court just refused to hear the appeal, we could argue its controlling.
Shirley Schmidt: I want to read it. Can you make me a copy? You want to read it, Denny?
Denny Crane: Hell, no. He walks away.
Milton Bombay: To Tara. Can I talk to you in private for a second, please?They go into the conference room.I uh, I didn't want to embarrass you in front of your superiors, but it seems to me the controlling case on this would be Cruzon. The whole thrust of Rehnquist's opinion was autonomy--the patient's right to decide.
Tara Wilson: The opinion was muddled. It was essentially three-pronged: autonomy, the patient's best interest, and the state's interest to preserve life. You'd win on prong one, but you’d likely lose on prongs two and three. You're much better off arguing Chiavo. Milton doesn’t’ reply. Mr Bombay?
Milton Bombay: Yes?
Tara Wilson: Are you all right?
Milton Bombay: Ah, yes. It's just that you brought me back to a, a memory of... I think I was happiest as a lawyer when I was a young associate. Ha, ha. Ah, ha. I hated doing all the grunt work, but there was all the promise of tomorrow. Shirley comes and stands in conference room doorway to listen. Would you have dinner with me tonight, Tara?
Shirley Schmidt: Milton? Why don't you have it with me?
In Judge Peter Harding’s courtroom, Steven Harper is on the stand.
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: Why this one particular network?
Steven Harper: Look, I know that all the networks pander, some to the Liberals, some to the Conservative, but when a news organization goes as far as to actually promote a political agenda.
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: Can I dial you back one second? How do they do that?
Steven Harper: Well, first, the broadcasts speak for themselves. Their CEO used to be the chief media operative for former Republican presidents.
Alan Shore: I object to his open mind, Judge.
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: Move to strike.
Judge Peter Harding: Sustained.
Steven Harper: And then when I saw the documentary "Outfoxed," it blew my mind.
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: Because...?
Steven Harper: Because it detailed the extent to which the media can go to promote conservative Republican causes.
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: Your Honor, we'd like to show you a brief series of clips from this documentary.
Clip 1: We weren't necessarily, as it was told to us, a news-gathering organization so much as we were a proponent of a point of view.
Clip 2: They wanted all news to be a matter of opinion. We were ordered from the top to carry propaganda, carry Republican, rightwing, propaganda.
Clip 3: It was made very clear to us that our activities were being monitored, and if someone wasn't watching it live, they were at least recording it, and they would review after the fact to see what we did.
Steven Harper: If you watch the documentary, and I strongly suggest that you do, you'll see that this goes on and on and on, and these accounts are from people on the inside.
Judge Peter Harding: Okay. But to put a device on the television?
Steven Harper: I hate the idea of shutting down free expression, but this became more of a safety issue.
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: A safety issue?
Steven Harper: They've got their talk show hosts declaring that anyone who is opposed to the war is an enemy of the state. A traitor! We're getting more and more fights. Kids are being attacked for being unpatriotic. Arab and Muslim students are being targeted. Maybe this little device is overkill, I admit that, but I've got a high school to run, and the first order of the day is keep the kids safe.
Alan Shore: I thought the first order of an academic community was embracing diversity of opinion.
Steven Harper: Not when it's a bias that fosters intolerance.
Alan Shore: Did you attach any little blockers to networks that lie about Presidents, and say… the National Guard.
Steven Harper: I don't dispute there's a Liberal bias, too.
Alan Shore: But you don't censure those networks.
Steven Harper: Those networks don't foster intolerance.
Alan Shore: Any blockers for shock jocks? Or is racism a misogyny not a concern?
Steven Harper: Look, there's a lot of garbage out there. I'll admit that.
Alan Shore: What about your own teachers?
Steven Harper: My teachers?
Alan Shore: A recent poll showed six out of seven college professors voted for John Kerry. Does that not suggest a bias in academia, Mr Harper?
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: Objection.
Alan Shore: We've got countless news programs. Too many talk shows to keep track of, all kinds of opinions being spewed out over the air waves. Extremes to the left, to the right. And the only thing you block...?
Steven Harper: That's actually not true. There’s all kinds of programs we don't permit.
Alan Shore: But this is the only news show?
Steven Harper: Look, what does it say that they make a device to block out this particular news network?
Alan Shore: It says that censorship is popular. That doesn't make it right.
Steven Harper: And as principal I have to make that call. And let me say this: I am a proud American. I got a flag on my porch. I pray for those troops every night. I taught some of those kids. They're over there fighting for democracy which includes the right for you to question your government. And for this network to be saying otherwise offends me as a citizen and as a principal.
Alan Shore: I see. So…? You're squashing content to promote democracy.
Steven Harper: Once again, I will shut down any content that fosters intolerance. That is where I stand.
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Shirley is in her office.
Denny Crane: He comes in.You’re going to dinner? With him?
Shirley Schmidt: I wanna find out what’s really going on here.
Denny Crane: What’s going on is a runaway ego. It’s all about spotlight. The man wishes he were me.
Shirley Schmidt: We all wish that, Denny.
Denny Crane: I know Mi... I, I go way back with Milton. I know Milton like the back of my hand. He knows he’s gonna lose that motion. No risk of him being frozen. In the meantime he’s all over the news. I’m tellin’ ya, man wants to be me!
Shirley Schmidt: Even so. I’m gonna have a little talk with him.
Denny Crane: He’s gonna insist you go to Nicky Blair’s. Watch.
Shirley Schmidt: Sorry?
Denny Crane: He pays them to let him sing.
Shirley Schmidt: I beg your pardon?
Denny Crane: He slips the ma?tre d' a hundred bucks to come over to the table and say, “Please, Mr Bombay, sing us a song.” It’s all about the limelight with Milton. I promise ya.
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Alan is in his office. Chelina is with him.
Chelina Hall: What do you mean, lose? We’re on the side of the First Amendment.
Alan Shore: The problem is school principals do have a wide discretion. And the material is arguably inflammatory. If they can classify it as disruptive speech. Plus, I don’t know which newscast you’ve been watching recently but, the First Amendment is losing its luster lately. Some networks are even censoring their scripted dramas.
Chelina Hall: So what do we go with if not freedom of expression?
TV announcer: Meanwhile, actor Vince Odoms, you know him as the judge in the Michael Jackson reenactment trial, has abruptly quit, to go play Phil Spector in the reenactment of that trial on a competing network. FBS president Rick Silverman is threatening to sue, claiming the actor is under contract, and it would be a material breech to walk in the middle of ongoing litigation. Meanwhile, it was learned today the Los Angelo’s County Sheriff’s office reportedly…
In a restaurant.
Milton Bombay: So? What’s the point?
Shirley Schmidt: The point?
Milton Bombay: Of us having dinner. What’s the point? If it’s sexual, I’ll need notice, so I can take my little pill.
Shirley Schmidt: You asked to have dinner with Tara? What was the point of that?
Milton Bombay: With her, I wouldn’t need a pill.
Shirley Schmidt: You’ve talked a wonderful game about the future. About wanting to perpetuate your legacy into the next century. But, when you were talking to Tara, what I observed was a man looking backwards. A man, who, perhaps is lonely.
Milton Bombay: You’ve got it wrong.
Shirley Schmidt: I saw melancholy, Milton. And melancholy accompanied by the desire to be dead… Is this Milton Bombay looking to check out in a way that doesn’t tarnish his grand reputation? Denny thinks you don’t want to win this case. Which would explain your hiring him. But you also hired me. You lost your wife, your job…Are you just giving up, Milton?
Milton Bombay: Let me tell you something. As science and medicine continue to evolve, so must the law to keep pace! I’m blazing the trail as a patient today so I can continue to set the standard as a lawyer tomorrow. That’s what this is about!
Shirley Schmidt: Okay.
Ma?tre d': Mr Bombay, the band and some of the patrons have requested that you grace us with a song tonight.
Milton Bombay: Yes. Tell em to vamp, ‘She’s Making Eyes’, I’ll be right up, Walter.
Ma?tre d': Excellent. Thank you, sir.
Milton Bombay: I happen to believe in reincarnation. And I also believe things even out. Given the hand I was dealt this time. I could be in for some serious hardships the next go-around. And I don’t want that in my next life. I wanna be me all over again. Milton Bombay!
Shirley Schmidt: Got it.
MC: Ladies and gentlemen! A treat! A special guest performance from that legendary barrister, Milton Bombay!
Applause.
Milton Bombay: Thank you. Thank you. Good to be here folks. Here’s one of my favorites. I hope it’s one of yours too.
Ma! She makin eyes at me.
Ma! She’s awful nice to me.
Ma! She’s almost breakin my heart.
I’m beside her.
Mercy let her conscience guide her.
Ma! She wants to marry me.
Be my honeybee.
Every minute she gets bolder.
Now she’s leaning on my shoulder.
Ma! She’s kissing me!
Applause.
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Denny is in his office, Milton is with him.
Milton Bombay: What do you mean you’re closing? What happened to Shirley?
Denny Crane: Milton. There’s a reason you came to me in the first place. In your gut you know
I’m better than you. Go with your gut.
Milton Bombay: I’d sooner gonna go with my intestine. I prefer Shirley doing the closing.
Shirley Schmidt: She comes in. I’m not doing it. To Denny. And neither are you.
Denny Crane: Well, who does that leave? Uh, um, Tammy?
Milton Bombay: Tara.
Shirley Schmidt: As I said from the start, the law doesn’t support us here. If we’re going to get a court order allowing you to die, which would be the result in today’s world. That Judge is going to have to hear from you.
Milton Bombay: He did hear from me.
Shirley Schmidt: I don’t think so. If this is only about you getting to perpetuate your legacy in the next century, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to make do with sustaining it in this one. You need to do better. And Milton, for my money, any guy who’s asking to get stuck in a freezer isn’t that desperate to live.
In Judge Peter Harding’s courtroom.
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: Every major media watchdog group has labeled this news program as the most biased, right wing news program on television.
Judge Peter Harding: So what? Political bias is rampant throughout the news business. Including Liberal bias.
Attorney Elizabeth Tyler: We’re not talking about just a slant, Judge. A recent poll showed that the more people watch this news show, the less they know about foreign policy, and the more inclined they are to support the government. Now that may be good team spirit, but it’s disgraceful journalism.
Judge Peter Harding: But come on. You talk about a democracy. What kind of principal censors free expression?
Steven Harper: Um, Your Honor? If I may? The Judge nods. Any principal has the right, if not the obligation to rail against biased wherever he sees it. You saw that tape!
Judge Peter Harding: Which was also biased and self-serving.
Steven Harper: Their most popular commentator threatens retribution against those who descent. It almost rises to the level of hate speech, and if in my view, it jeopardizes the welfare of the students, I certainly have the authority to shut it down.
Judge Peter Harding: Mr Shore, this is a school. Is it wise to expose students to programs which send a message you’re anti-American if you question the government?
Alan Shore: Your Honor, before we convict them as the network of Conservative values, or any values for that matter, let’s remember these are the folks who brought you Joe Billionaire and Who’s your Papa?
Judge Peter Harding: That’s the entertainment division, Mr Shore. I’m talking about the news. Alan Shore: And I’m telling you it’s all the same. This isn’t about political content. This is corporation looking to make money. They began as alternative news programming to grab a market share. They saw ratings and profit in a Conservative demographic and they’ve been waving the flag ever since and so what! News today, all of it, is infotainment. Last February a deadly toxin known as Rizen was found in the mail room of the Senate majority leader. Headline news led with Janet Jackson’s exposed breast. A month ago, while we’re in the middle of a war, news casts all across the country led with Prince Harry’s costume at a keg party. It’s a business! And while some news groups go with the deeper social issues like Brad and Jennifer’s breakup, the one here chooses to run with red, white and blue. And by the way, before you vilify them, a survey done in 2002 revealed that 70 percent of the people in this country believe it is good when news organizations take a strong, pro-American, point of view. 70 percent!
Judge Peter Harding: Does that make it right?
Alan Shore: Of course it makes it right! Because the rule in infotainment is, give the people what they want. This is money, Your Honor, not politics. Let me say, I am a great lover of the news. Judge Peter Harding: I can see that.
Alan Shore: I watch it all. On days like 9/11 or for other world-changing events the news programs are nothing short of spectacular. When Martin Luther King delivered I Have a Dream. When President Kennedy was shot. When we walked on the moon. The Ted Offensive? Are lives are shaped by these events, in part because of the news. But on all other days they’re businesses, looking to compete like anybody else in a highly competitive marketplace. They sell product. And even if you’re determined to believe that this particular network is some evil empire looking to spread right-wing propaganda, that still doesn’t change the fact that we’re in this room today, because a principal is shutting down the expression of ideas simply because he disagrees with the content. If anything needs a champion today, it’s the First Amendment. In a recent poll, half of today’s high school students thought newspapers should get government approval of stories before publishing them. The First Amendment has become an endangered species, and here we have a high school principal practicing censorship. My, my. We do have a problem.
In Judge James Billmeyer’s courtroom, Assistant Attorney General Doug Beecham is giving his closing.
Assistant Attorney General Doug Beecham: There is nothing in the law to support Mr Bombay’s request that he be assisted in his quest to die. And that’s what this is. Assisted suicide. Now, we hear a lot of talk about personnel autonomy. But there is a sanctity to life, Your Honor. A State has interest in that sanctity. If we erode that in any way, well… we make the idea of suicide more acceptable. Perhaps more conceivable for the troubled teenager or the depressed mother. You say suicide in some situations is an option. But we have an overriding State interest, and a humane one, in not sending that message.
Denny Crane: He gets up, Shirley stops him. You…
Shirley Schmidt: That was beautiful, now sit.
A beat.
Milton Bombay: At the risk of sounding immodest, I am one of the greatest lawyers, possibly the greatest to grace the courtrooms of this commonwealth. Denny Crane tries to get up, possibly to protest, Shirley stops him. And just the possibility of being to still try cases in the twenty-second century. Uh, A long pause. I have ALS. In a few months I’ll lose motor control, control of my bowels, my brain will begin to… ha, ha. In a year or so I’ll be dead. Legends shouldn’t die like that. I don’t wanna die like that. Cryonics might not work, but a hundred years ago nobody was talking about cloning, or the human genome, and a hundred years from now, who knows what’s possible? I truly, truly, love life, and the chance to be living again seems preferable to eternal nothingness. And uh, ha, well, what, what Red Sox fan wouldn’t jump at the chance to lie next to Ted Williams? I realize, Your Honor, that no Judge would do what I’m asking for. He walks over to the table, then turns back. Do it anyway,
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Milton Bombay is out on the balcony puffing on a cigar. Denny joins him..
Denny Crane: Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?
Milton Bombay: Because I’m a tree. When I fall I want it to be in a forest.
Denny Crane: What the hell does that mean?
Milton Bombay: It means I didn’t want anybody to know. I don’t wanna be pitied. All I want is to be…
Denny Crane: Denny Crane. They both take a puff on their cigars. Mine’s bigger. You know... I’ve always admired you, Milton.
Milton Bombay: I’m not dead yet. When is the Judge gonna rule?
Denny Crane: Said by tonight.
In Judge Peter Harding’s courtroom.
Judge Peter Harding: I grew up watching Walter Cronkite. It was a time the news seemed to be fair, objective, trusted. In fact whenever we doubted the blather coming out of the politician’s mouths, it was the press we turned to get a sense of the truth. Well. Walter Cronkite has definitely left the building. When it comes to credibility, big media is dead. Networks pander. Some to Conservatives, others to Liberals. This past election you could turn to one channel to see President Bush ahead, turn to another to see Kerry leading. Ridiculous. And I agree with Mr Shore, it’s probably more about money than ideology. And being about money, well, why shouldn’t networks be free to adopt a bias in hopes of attracting a bigger audience? This is
America. Mr Harper, I realize times have changed in the high schools as well. Hate violence is on the rise. Administrators have to be freer to curtail students of liberties including disruptive speech. But attaching a device to a television that blocks out a certain network because of the content? That seems to go too far. It’s censorship, Sir. And I can’t let it stand. The motion for the plaintive is granted. He pounds his gavel and leaves the bench.
Stuart Miltch: I don’t know what to say, Mr Shore. You were incredibly brilliant.
Alan Shore: Yes.
Chelina Hall: If there’s any retribution at the school, let us know.
Stuart Miltch: Yeah, I will. Thank you both. Your country thanks you. He leaves.
Alan Shore: To Chelina.My country thanks me.
In Judge James Billmeyer’s courtroom. All parties present.
Denny Crane: To Milton.This is where he gives his ruling.
Milton Bombay: Thank you.
Judge James Billmeyer: Mr Bombay, it seems ironic, if not indecent, that the State’s interest in preserving life should mandate that you should die a wrenching and painful death, rather than be frozen in hopes of finding a cure. But that is the law as it stands today. We live in a country that celebrates individual liberties and personnel autonomy, but when it comes to controlling your own destiny, this is a freedom that does not yet ring. I will pray for you, but I cannot grant you your request. Your motion is denied. He pounds his gavel. God bless you.
Shirley Schmidt: I’m sorry.
Denny Crane: We can appeal. Next time I’ll close.
Milton Bombay: That’s all right. That’s all right. I’m a, I’m heading for Arizona, try my luck with the courts down there.
Shirley Schmidt: Milton. No court anywhere is going to rule in your favor.
Milton Bombay: Even so. There’s a Cryonics facility there, so whenever the time comes… Shirley Schmidt: Do you know anybody in Arizona?
Milton Bombay: No. And that’s the point. I don’t wanna deteriorate in front of my…
Shirley Schmidt: Clearly you’re not inclined to follow my advice, but do not go off to die alone. Milton Bombay: Hey. You live your way, Shirley, I’ll die mine. I’m entitled to be remembered for…
A beat. Ah. Thank you both for your efforts. He walks away.
Denny Crane: He goes after Milton. Milton. Milton! We go way back you and I.
Milton Bombay: Ha. Let’s not get carried away. We were worthy adversaries, occasional drinking buddies, but it’s not as if we had great affection for one another.
Denny Crane: Anyway… He clasps Milton’s hand. We’ll see ya, Milton.
Milton Bombay: Oh. Yeah. See ya. See ya, Den… Denny grabs his arm, then moves in to give him a hug. They share a long hug as Denny pats Milton on the back.
Denny Crane: Good bye, my friend.
Milton Bombay: Bye. Good bye. Good bye.
At Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Denny is out on the balcony.
Alan Shore: He joins Denny.Sorry.
Denny Crane: Hey. People get old. Get sick. Happens to everybody.
Alan Shore: How close were you?
Denny Crane: It’s not that we went that deep. It’s… we went…
Alan Shore: Way back.
Denny Crane: You can be larger than life, just not dead.
Alan Shore: He went off to Arizona?
Denny Crane: Yeah. I really admired him more than… A beat. You go through life and you never tell people how much you care about em, when… People should probably do that more, you know?
Alan Shore: I care about you.
Denny Crane: I wasn’t fishing for that. Fish for steelhead, not mush.
Alan Shore: I care about you, Denny. You don’t have to say it back.
Denny Crane: Wasn’t planning to.