Online_Shopping
2011年大学英语四级英语作文
Shopping Online
1、现在网上购物已成为一种时尚
2、网上购物有很多好处，但也有不少问题
3、我的建议
标准得分版：
Doing Shopping Online
With the development of the Internet, shopping is no longer a tiring thing. Just click your mouse to choose the articles you like, and the purchase is done. You don’t even have to step out of the room. It seems all easy and quick.
However, people’s opinions vary on this trend. Some believe that on line shopping is time and money saving. With plentiful selection, they can buy whatever they like at any time convenient. Still others insist that mis-purchasing alone is annoying enough, not to mention the credibility of the sellers and the safety of their accounts.
In my opinion, the convenience and excitement of on line shopping is beyond all doubts. In the meantime, we must always bear in mind that certain traps do exist, so we’d better make sure the sellers are trustworthy before buying. In addition, we should also guard ourselves from the potential hackers who might steal our account information.
文章点评：
这是一篇“中等偏上”的学生作文。
本文先对网购热潮进行简介，引出全篇；接着对网络购物的正反两方面进行对比；最后提出自己的看法结束全篇。整体看思路清晰，逻辑严密，行文流畅，用语较为地道。
下面说一下这篇文章的有待提高之处：
1. 文章结构上，能看得出该同学试图采用议论文的“三段式”(提出问题、分析问题、解决问题)。但是，以“With the development of the Internet”为开首语，有些落入俗套，有硬套模板的嫌疑。稍加注意，应该能写出更好的句子。
2. 微观语言点方面，有些语句稍显啰嗦，比如With plentiful selection options…简化成With plentiful selections…更好，意思没有丝毫减损，表达力反而增强许多。
高分版
With the help of the ever rapid development of internet technology, online shopping is coming into fashion in most of cities.
Online shopping is welcomed by most people due to various reasons. From the perspective of consumer, it can save some time for people who don’t have much spare time. Just click the mouse, they can get whatever they want while staying at home. For the retailers, it can cut some costs for those who don’t have much circulating funds. They don’t have to rent a house and spend money on employees compared with the traditional trade mode. However, there are still some defects in online shopping. First, lack of face to face deal makes online shopping less reliable and trustworthy. Second, people will lose the fun of bargain.
It is undeniable that shopping on the internet has become an irresistible trend in modern society. It’s of great urgency that we need to regulate the relative laws in accordance with the rapid growth of online shopping. Only in this way can we enjoy the pleasure and convenience of online shopping without the concern of being treated.
文章点评：
本次四级作文探讨的是最近的热点话题之一——互联网网购。目前网购的风靡程度是众所周知，因此，考生对于该话题还是比较熟悉的。但是，比较特殊的是，题干所列出的要求的是考生从一个客观的角度来阐述该话题，而不是简单陈述自己的意见。所以，考生应当审清楚题，在写作时不仅仅要列出网购的优点，还必须给出相应的缺点。
按照四级作文的要求，考生在第一段时应该总述现象并引出话题；第二段考生应当从正反两方面来论述网购，分别铺陈其优缺点；关于优点，网购的优点很多，考生可择其最突出显著的方面来阐述，比如说网购可以节省很多时间；网购可以节省很多成本开支等；其次，缺点方面考生可以把重心放在诚信方面；为了不至于跟优点相比，缺点方面太轻，考生可以考虑稍微提一下其他缺点，比如说与传统购物相比，网购少去了很多砍价的乐趣；
第三点要求考生对于第二段列出的缺点给出自己的建议。此处我们可以根据第二段列出的缺点方面给出相应的防范应对措施。
外教版范文：
Online shopping has been a boon to many industries and companies looking to expand their markets. Also, it’s con venient for shoppers who are too busy to leave the house. However, in some cases nothing can replace a true face to face shopping experience.
Internet shopping is convenient for the mothers who spend all day doing house chores and for the fathers who work a full-time job. On the other hand, there are limits to shopping online, for example, guessing the correct size of clothing on a computer screen can be very frustrating.
For the busy mother and father, online shopping is a very useful and convenient tool. But, there are instances, like clothes shopping, where nothing beats the real thing.
文章点评：
作者在第一段描述了网购作为一种时尚给大家的生活带来了便利，然后话锋一转，说网购仍然取代不了面对面的购物交流。第二段主要还是从正反两方面分析了网购的优势和不足，以此描述大家对网购的不同反应。第三段作者表明了自己的观点，对网购的便利和不足之处都做了描述。
综合来讲，本篇文章观点明确，结构清晰，语言表达地道，有不少闪光词汇，但是，内容深度上来讲还有些欠缺，另外，最后一部分表达个人观点，和第二段稍有重复。考生需要注意观点的清晰，不宜模棱两可。
新东方版：
Online Shopping
It would be an amazing wonder decades ago to even think about purchasing our favorite
gifts by clicking the mouse and just a few days’ waiting. While, t oday, just a few glances and you will find that your dreams have come true—online shopping has been integrated into our daily lives.
No doubt that unprecedented convenience has been brought by online shopping—not to mention the time and labor saved via the Internet. However, more concerns have been given to the inherent shortcomings that born out of online shopping. The images you see on the Internet may seem completely different from the items which have been just delivered to your hands. Besides, the time saved on browsing in a department store may be replaced by the time the goods finally find its way to your house.
Faced with such dilemma, what is our resolution? First and foremost, relevant laws and regulations must be introduced to supervise the quality and delivery of online commodity. Furthermore, bodies should be established to oversee and eradicate the websites which sell fake goods. Zero-tolerance should become the prevailing discipline to preserve consumers’ rights and benefits.
网络范文高分版
Online Shopping
One of the controversial issues today is online shopping. According to a recent survey，a large number of consumers are in favor of online shopping as it has become a trend. In this essay, I will discuss the positive and negative effects of this issue and offer my own view on it.
On the positive aspect, one of the most significant advantages is that online shopping brings customers so much convenience that it is widely recognized as much more time-saving than traditional shopping. Moreover, online customers have access to commodities of such a huge variety and number. Perhaps the primary advantage is that they have the opportunities to compare prices of a product offered by different retailers. On the negative aspect, there is a good chance of buying a defective product, as they cannot examine the quality when shopping online. What’s more, there exist some dishonest and incredible online retailers who may do further damages to buyers’ interests.
As far as I’m concerned, the benefits of on line shopping greatly outweigh its drawbacks. People should make better use of shopping and bypass its negative effects. People can never be too careful when shopping online.
网络范文平均分版
Online Shopping
Nowadays, online shopping has increasingly become a fashion. Nobody will fail to notice that a growing number of people prefer shopping online such as Taobao because it brings us a lot of convenience. Just click your button, and all that you can do is to wait for your delivery to come。
However, every coin has two sides and online shopping has no exception. It also has many problems. First of all, most products have very poor quality. When you buy something online, you cannot touch or feel them, so their quality is not so good as it looks. What’s worse, it will cause your financial insecurity, because the payment is also done through the Internet. Therefore, your
bank account or credit card numbers will be stolen which would make you suffer a great loss.
On the whole, through the above analysis, I believe online shopping has a very bright future. Although it has many problems, it is one of the results of modern society. There is a long way to go for us to improve its services.