Is there a difference between empathy and sympathy

Is there a difference between empathy and sympathy?

Els Barkema-Sala

While surveying the literature for my MPhil research regarding parenting of young children and the role of empathy, I came across an interesting but bewildering array of definitions of empathy. Even in works focusing on the concept of empathy (e.g. Eisenberg & Strayer 1987), divergent and contradictory meanings could be found as applied to theory and practice. A similar (mis)use of the word empathy in the popular press and media could be perceived; there too especially empathy and sympathy appeared to be interchangeable (which they are not). So I decided to delve deeper to try and achieve clarity of meaning that makes research more meaningful.

Empathy is not only basic to person-centred counselling or therapy (being one of the 'core conditions'), it is also an essential element of most forms of therapy, which is why it may be useful to share that part of my study with you. My working definition of empathy had an identified child-centred bias in bearing with the study's particular focus on parenting of young children: "Empathy is the effortful process of (as far as possible) assuming the internal frame of reference of the child, perceiving the world as the child sees it, perceiving the child itself as seen by the child, and communicating some of this empathic understanding to the child, without losing track of one's own emotional and cognitive state, with the aim of facilitating understanding, communication and positive development".

Those of you familiar with Rogers' work will recognize the connection with the 'therapeutic conditions'.

Though empathy and sympathy can both be seen as inherent human tendencies, it is important to differentiate clearly between these two concepts. This can be detailed as follows: EMPATHY

o from the Greek 'in feeling'

o requires maturity or secure attachment

o is based on acceptance of individual uniqueness

o is largely the cognitive and affective effort to understand another person's comprehensive experience accurately and to communicate some of that understanding in order to facilitate interaction, learning and positive development o its goal is: understanding, communication, facilitation

o it answers a need to understand and be understood

o it is a more volitional, intentional, cognitive and affective response

o its components are largely: caring, warmth, kindness, tenderness, compassion, affection, emotional closeness, support, sensitivity, concern, perception, attention,

interest, consideration, observation, nurture, psychological insight, intellect, credence, respect, differentiation.

SYMPATHY

o from the Greek 'with feeling'

o requires permeable or deficient boundaries

o is based on 'shared sameness'

o is largely an affective reaction sharing emotions, vicarious experiencing, identification, roletaking (approving, liking, agreeing), merging or losing oneself in

another person's experience, assuming/taking on another person's feeling or

experience

o its goal is: 'feeling with' or 'feeling for'

o it answers a need for closeness and support

o it is a more automatic, emotional response

o its components are largely: caring, warmth, kindness, tenderness, affection, emotional closeness, sentimentality, emotionality, emotional merging, support, concern,

perception, assumption, pity.

It is noted that both empathy and sympathy can provide the potential for abuse if power in a relationship is misused and if certain components are missing or deficient. However, it can be argued that empathy can no longer be regarded as such, the moment it loses its benevolent, growth-enhancing component (i.e. when applied unethically or not for the benefit of the receiver).

To recapitulate:

Whereas sympathy is based on 'shared sameness', empathy recognizes individual uniqueness. Sympathy is 'a feeling with or for' and is a more automatic (involuntary) emotional response, answering a need for closeness and support. Empathy is 'a feeling in', geared towards understanding, communication, facilitation, and is a more volitional, intentional, cognitive and affective response, asnwering a need to understand and to be understood.

It is the effortful aspect of empathy, emerging from sensitivity, caring and genuine interest in the well-being of the other person, that sets it apart from psychological insight, emotion coaching techniques and other (parenting) skills. Empathy is a process, it requires skill and attitude.

Interestingly, Winnicott sees empathy as characterizing more sophisticated relationships between separate individuals. Indeed this brings us back to the therapeutic relationship, that is of concern to students or practitioners of counselling or psychotherapy.

References regarding this topic:

?Eisenberg, N. & Strayer, J. (Eds.). (1987). Empathy and its development. New York: Cambridge University Press.

?Eisenberg, N. et al. (1993). The relations of empathy-related emotions and maternal practices to children's comforting behavior. Journal of experimental child psychology, 55, 131-150.

?Maccoby, E.E. (1992). The role of parents in the socialization of children: An historical overview. Developmental Psychology, 28(6), 1006-1017.

?Ickes, E. (Ed.). (1997). Empathic accuracy. New York: The Guilford Press.

?Lindgren, H.C. & Harvey, J.H. (1981). An introduction to social psychology (3rd ed.).

St. Louis: The CV Mosby Company.

?Rogers, C. (1959). A theory of therapy, personality, and interpersonal relationships, as developed in the client-centered framework. In S. Koch (Ed.), Psychology: A study of

a science, Volume 3, Formulations of the person and the social context. New York:

Mc Graw-Hill.

?Winnicott, D.W. (1957). The child, the family and the outside world. London: Penguin Books.

?Wright, L., Everett, F. & Roisman, L. (1986). Experiential psychotherapy with children. Baltimore: The Johns Hopkins University Press.