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12. The Positive Meanings of Love爱的真谛

1. We’d like to share some of the positive meanings love has for us.

Would like to do = want to do 想要做某事Positive积极的，乐观的

2. Love means that I know the person I love. I，m aware of the many sides of the other person—not just the beautiful side but also the limitations, inconsistencies and faults. I have an awareness of the other’s feelings and thoughts, and I experience something of the core of that person. I can penetrate social masks and roles and see the other person on a deeper level.

Be aware of 意识到，知道，明白

Not only …..but also 不但，而且（要翻译出来）

Limitations局限inconsistencies 矛盾faults缺点

Penetrate 透过mask 面具on a deeper level 更深层次

3. Love means that I care about the welfare of the person I love. To the extent tha t it is genuine, my caring is not possessive,nor does it hold the other person back. On the contrary, my caring frees both of us. If I care about you, I’m concerned about your growth, and I hope you will become all that you can become. Consequently, I don’t put up obstacles to what you do that enhances you as a person，even though it may result in my discomfort at times.

care about关心welfare = happiness幸福

To the extent that就····来说Genuine 真实的

nor does it hold nor 放在句首，句子倒装

On the contrary相反地be concerned about 关心Consequently因此（一定要翻译出来）even though即使at times有时

4. Love means having respect for the dignity of the person I love. If I love you, I can see you as a separate person, with your own values and thoughts and feelings, and I do not insist that you surrender your identity to match an image of what I expect you to be for me. I can allow and encourage you to stand alone and to be who you are, and I avoid treating you as an object or using you primarily to satisfy my own needs.

Mean + doing sth respect for尊敬

insist that + ···（should）do坚持···

allow sb to do 允许某人做某事

avoid + doing sth 避免做某事

5. Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love. If I love you, I respond to most of your major needs as a person. This responsibility does not include my doing for you what you are capable of doing for yourself; nor does it mean that I run your life for you. Instead, It means acknowledging that what I am and what I do affects you, so that I am directly involved in your happiness and your suffering. A lover does（强调语气，不做句子成分）have the capacity to hurt or ignore the loved one, and in this sense we see that love involves an acceptance of some responsibility for the impact my way of being has on you.

Respond to 回应

be capable of doing sth 能够做某事

nor does it mean倒装Instead 代替acknowledge 承认

be involved in 涉及到suffering 痛苦

have the capacity to do sth 有做····的能力

in this sense 从这个意义上来说

6. Love means making a commitment to the person I love. This commitment does not mean surrendering our total selves to each other; nor does it imply that the relationship is necessarily permanent. It does involve a willingness to stay with each other in times of pain, struggle, and despair, as well as in times of calm and enjoyment.

Make a commitment做出承诺surrendering to 屈服permanent 永久的，永恒的Willingness 愿意stay with同···在一起despair绝望

7. Love means trusting the person I love. If I love you，I trust that you will accept my caring and my love and that you won’t deliberately hurt me. I trust that you will find me attractive, and that you won’t abandon me; I trust the mutual nature of our love. If we trust each other, we are willing to be open to each other and reveal our true selves.

Deliberately 故意地

be willing to do sth 愿意去做某事

reveal 揭示，显示

8. Love can tolerate imperfection. In a love relationship there are times when I am bored, times when I may feel like giving up，times of real strain, and times I feel I can’t move forward. Authentic love does not imply enduring happiness. I can stay during rough times, however, because I can remember what we had together in the past，and I can picture what we will have together in our future if we care enough to face our problems and work them through. We agree with the idea that love is a spirit that changes life. Love is a way of life that is creative and that transforms. However, love is not reserved for a perfect world. Love is meant for our imperfect world where things go wrong. Love is meant to be a spirit that works in painful situations. Love is meant to bring meaning into life where nonsense appears to rule. In other words, love comes into an imperfect world to make it possible to live.

Feel like + doing

enduring 持久的be meant to 应该是bring into 带进来

9. Love is open. If I love you, I encourage you to reach out and develop other relationships. Although our love for each other and our commitment to each other might prohibit certain actions on our parts，we are not totally and exclusively married to each other. It is a false love that cements one person to another in such a way that he or she is not given room to grow. encourage sb to do sth 鼓励某人做某事reach out 伸出prohibit禁止

married to 嫁给某人，和某人结婚

10. Love is selfish. I can only love you if I genuinely love, value，appreciate，and respect myself. If I am empty, then all I can give you is my emptiness. If I feel that I，m complete and worthwhile in myself, then I，m able to give to you out of my fullness. One of the best ways for me to give you love is by folly enjoying myself with you.

Emptiness空虚

11. Love involves seeing the potential within the person we love. In my love for another, I view her or him as the person she or he can become, while still accepting who and what the person is now. By taking people as they are, we make them worse, but by treating them as if they already were what they ought to be, we help make them better.

Potential 潜力

View …as…把··当做··

Taking… as…把···看作···

12. To sum it up,mature love is union under the condition of preserving one’s individuality. In love，two beings become one and yet remain two.

To sum it up归根结底mature 成熟的

preserving保留individuality个性

under the condition of 在···条件下

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Obviously,if children are bent over their computers for hours,absorbed in some game,instead of doing their homework,then something is wrong.Parents and children could decide how much use the child should_make of the Internet,and the child should give his or her word that it won’t interfere with homework.If the child is not holding to this arrangement,the parent can take more drastic steps dealing with a child’s use of the Internet is not much different from negotiating any other sort of bargain about behaviour.Any parent who is_seriously alarmed about a child’s behaviour should make an appointment to discuss the matter with a teacher.Spending time in front of the screen does not necessarily affect a child’s performance at school.Even if a child is absolutely crazy about using the Internet,he or she is probably just going through a phase,and in a few months there will be something else to worry about!The Old Gate In the Middle Ages the vast majority of European cities had walls around them.This was partly for defensive reasons but another factor was the need to keep out anyone regarded as undesirable,like people with contagious diseases.The Old City of London gates were all demolished by the end of the 18th century.The last of London’s gates was removed a century ago,but by a stroke of luck,it was never destroyed. This gate is,in actual fact,not called a gate at all;its name is Temple Bar,and it marked the boundary between the Old City of London and Westminster.In 1878the Council of London took the Bar down,numbered the stones and put the gate in storage because its design was unfashionable it was expensive to maintain and it was blocking the traffic. The Temple Bar Trust was set up in the 1970’s with the intention of returning the gate home.The aim of the Trust is the preservation of the nation’s architectural heritage.Transporting the gate will mean physically pulling it down,stone by stone,removing and rebuilding it near St Paul’s Cathedral.Most of the facade of the gate will probably be replaced,though there is a good chance that the basic structure will be sound.The hardest job of all,however,will be to recreate the statues of the monarchs that once stood on top of the gate.Family History In an age when technology is developing faster than ever before,many people are being attracted to the idea of looking back into the past.One way they can do this is by investigating their own family history.They can try to find out more about where their families came from and what they did.This is now a fast-growing hobby,especially in countries with a fairly short history,like Australia and the United States. It is one thing to spend some time going through a book on family history and to take the decision to investigate your own family’s past.It is quite another to carry out the research work successfully.It is easy to set about it in a disorganized way and_cause yourself many problems which could have been avoided with a little forward planning. If your own family stories tell you that you are connected with a famous character,whether hero or criminal,do not let this idea take over your research.Just treat it as an interesting possibility.A simple system for collecting and storing your information will be adequate to start with;a more complex one may only get in your way.The most important thing,though,is to get started.Who knows what you might find? Helen and Martin With a thoughtful sigh,Helen turned away from the window and walked back to her favourite armchair.Would her brother never arrive?For a brief moment,she wondered if she really cared that much. Over the years Helen had given up waiting for Martin to take an interest in her.Her feelings for him had gradually weakened until now,as she sat waiting for him,she experienced no more than a sister’s curiosity to see what had become of her brother. Almost without warning,Martin had lost his job with a busy publishing company after spending the last eight years in New York as a key figure in the US office.Somehow the two of them hadn’t bothered to keep in touch and,left alone,Helen had slowly found