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英语搞笑小品剧本

英语搞笑小品剧本
英语搞笑小品剧本

Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A), Candy(C), Policeman(P)

Preparation: 学校布景,做糖果用桌及相关材料,小贩家布景

Scene1(At Salesman’s home)

N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!

S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示),I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……

Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)

First, put the flour on the table.

Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)

Now press, press……

Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)

Press, press……

Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!

Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……

Now let me cut it into pieces!

One, two, three, four, five……(用脏菜刀)

Wow, everything is ready!

糖果钻出来(跳舞),跳完后,非常难过地说:Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…

S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now it’s so beautiful! Haha……

C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)

Scene2(At the school gate)

N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. (Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门,看到小贩)

(小贩拉着糖上场,吆喝):Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……

M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!

A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!

M: Let’s ask him.

A: OK!

C: Don’t buy me!(非常焦急)

M&A: Why?

C: I’m dirty!

M: No, you look nice!

C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)

S: Candies! Candies!(引诱两个女孩)

M&A: How much are they?

S: Do you have money?(轻蔑)

M&A: Money?(对视)

M:Oh, I’ve n o money!(失落之极)

A: Me too.

S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开,下场)

M: What can we do now?

A: Let’s ask dad for money.

M: But how to ask?

A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us money.(自信)

M: Good idea!(全部下场)

Scene 3:(At Maggie’s home)

N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do something clever. (爸爸看报)

M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸)

A: And play the guitar for us!

M: We know you play so well!

(爸爸诧异地看着孩子)

D: Oh? What a bright day today!

M&A: Please, dad!(哀求)

D:OKOK! Let’s.

(取吉他,开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss?

M&A: Of course!

(开始弹,第一段孩子随节奏起舞,第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话,爸爸停止弹琴。)

D: What’s the matter?

M: Dad, we have no money!

A: Can we have some please?

D: I think you have lots of pocket money ,and you don’t need any more.

M:I want to buy some candies at the school gate.

A: They look so sweet and nice!

M: Other students always buy them!

D: But……You can’t ! They are quite unhealthy. Please go and do your homework..(置之不理,转头看报,孩子回到房间)

M: What shall we do now?

A: Let me think …well, I know!(轻声在Maggie耳边说)

M: Oh, you are so clever! Let’s go.(回到爸爸身边)

M: Dad, I want a new eraser!

A: I want a longer ruler!

M&A: Dad, please!

D: Things are expensive these days. We have to save money!

M: But dad, my eraser is too small now!(拿出破橡皮来给爸爸看)

A: And my ruler is broken.(拿出断尺)

D: OK, children. I believe you this time, make sure, don’t buy the food at the school gate. It’s unhealthy! Do you know?

M&A: Yes, sir!

D: Here you are !( 给钱)

M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高兴,下场)

N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have them, but soon they feel a stomachache.

(孩子高兴地买了糖,边吃边回家,小贩下场,孩子到家后肚子痛)

M: Aiyo!……(两人躬着背进场)

A: …….

D: What’s wrong?

M: I’ve a stomachache!

A: Me too!

D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate?

M: Yes. We had some candies just now.

A: I had some too!

D: Oh! You’ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don’t buy the food at the school gate, they are unhealthy!(生气)

M: But they look nice!

A: And tastes good!

M&A: Aiyo……

D:Well, Let’s go to the salesman together and have a look!

M&A: OK.

Scene 4: (At the school gate)

N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the salesman to go away.

(正走到校门口,发现警察驱赶校门口的小贩)

P: Hey! You shouldn’t stay here, leave now!

C: Let’s go home, let’s go home! (轻声并拉小贩)

S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And…

C: You are telling a lie! I’m ver y dirty and unhealthy!

M&A: Dad, it’s him! Aiyo…(指着小贩)

D: He?

(警察走过来问爸爸,朝小孩)

P: What’s the matter with them?

D: They got a stomachache after having his candies.

S: Really? But I’ve never heard of it. And……

P: Stop, stop!(打断小贩) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty? You must be honest with the students, and don’t sell candies any more.(非常严厉)

S: OK. I know. (羞愧)

C: Let’s go home. Let’s go home.

Policeman(对小孩): Girls, please listen! Don’t buy the candies next time. They are bad for your health.

D: Yes, he is r ight. And you shouldn’t tell a lie to me. Try to be an honest person! Will you?

M&A: OK, dad!

P: Let’s take them to the hospital now.

D: OK, Let’s go.

N(出场): A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon must be kept down, we hope it could be improved soon. What’s more, we also hope students themselves can be honest and all the salesmen can be honest as well

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搞笑小学英语小品剧本《新守株待兔》 人物:农夫,兔子A,兔子B,大树。 农夫:I’mafarmer.(稍停顿)[走两步]Acoolfarmer.(掏出墨镜戴上)[冷酷地走两步,突然被绊了一跤,继续保持冷酷]Eh...WhenIwasyong,Istudiedin……School.So,I’mrichnow![开始展示名牌,边说边掏]Look!Thisismymodernmobile——Ipone6!Thisismywatch!——Rolex.ThisismyMP3!Thesearemyshoes——(夸张低沉 地)ADIDAS!Thisis…[不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry.[扔掉苹果]It’sthis![从怀里掏出痒痒挠]Doyouknowwhat’sthis?(观众)痒痒挠?Nonono~~Youareout!!It’smymodern ——锄头~!![看下表]Oh,Itistimetodosomefarming![开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作]树:I’matree!Icandomanythings!Icansing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作,哼哼哈西!!!]Icandance![跳四小天鹅]Oh?Therecomesarabbit![引导观众看兔子A)。树站回后台 兔子A:Hello,I’marabbit.NowI’mjustwalkingaroundhere. [农夫继续锄地,边锄边上场,突然看见前面有个兔子] 农夫:(惊喜地)Lunch![扔掉痒痒挠]Iwillcatchit![偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走] [农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走,兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。 兔子A:Wahhhh~!(吓一跳,尖叫)Whatdoyouwant? 农夫:Huh…!Iwillkillyouforlunch! 兔子A:Wah~~~~~~[兔子跑,躲到树后面,农夫追到树前] 农夫:Where~togo?Haha!

超搞笑小品剧本校园版

超搞笑小品剧本校园版 超搞笑小品剧本校园版 赵本删宋蛋蛋:奔月ing 宋蛋蛋提着捆芹菜上: 过节放假我犯愁, 整天在家陪老头。 说好了要去美国旅趟游, 谁知那疙瘩飞机撞大楼。 宋蛋蛋掏钥匙进门,屋里的赵本删守着电脑一阵狂敲,抚案长叹: 八月十五月亮挺好, 聊天室里看着挺吵。 在网上想把PLMM寻找, 才发现自己结婚的确太早 …… 唉约,俺媳妇回来的挺巧, 她一直就嫌俺和她说话太少, 大过节的, 得,我还是赶快关了电脑。 宋蛋蛋进家,赵本删陪笑接芹菜: 嗯哪,领导回来了呀? 宋蛋蛋没好气: 不回来去哪儿?我想上月亮,你给我买票啊? 赵本删来了精神: 月亮咋地?也不是没人上去过。美国的阿姆什么朗就不说了,咱中国人也有先驱者啊——有个叫嫦娥的,不就飞上去了吗? 宋蛋蛋接话: 嫦娥为啥飞到月亮上去,你知道不,你知道不—— 哎,想当年,俺也算是网上一支花, 咋不留神,就嫁给你这个大木瓜? 嫦娥就是因为她的老公后羿不陪他唠嗑,伤了自尊了,才走地,知道不?自打咱家上了宽带,你成天就知道在网上瞎聊,越来越不用正眼把我瞧。坐在电脑前像个呆头鹅……我只有打开少女的心扉,才能回忆起咱俩当年的影子。

赵本删吓了一跳: 媳妇的话夹枪带棒咱也得听, 看来这回她的自尊伤得不轻。 回头卷个包袱真得离开地球, 我得重温单身汉的孤苦伶仃…… ……领导哎,今天是团圆节,我决定罢网,陪媳妇聊、陪媳妇吃,还陪媳妇看月亮——我是不怕公安打击的“三陪”。 宋蛋蛋一听,乐了: 那敢情好—— 先洗芹菜后打鸡蛋, 煮锅开水下些挂面, 你在厨房接受锻炼。 我到网上随便转转, …… 别看我好久没上网, 我的名声还是挺响, GGDD认了一堆, 待我一个一个慢慢拜访。 赵本删拎着芹菜: 网恋的媳妇看来真不能要, 谈恋爱整宿都在网上瞎泡, 结了婚还是半夜不去睡觉, ……习惯了……问题是…… 这习惯就像流行性的感冒, 传染得我也爱在网上瞎闹, 嫦娥寂寞不寂寞俺不知道, 反正俺家比月球上还要无聊! ……媳妇……媳妇……? 宋蛋蛋: 干哈呀?没见我这打字正忙着吗? 赵本删: 咱别吃饭了,咱俩一起奔月吧……

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