Modern.Family.S01E16

我最怕什么让我想想 What am I most afraid of? Hmm. Let's see.

全球变暖还有考试拿B Global warming... and getting a "B."

午夜凶铃 The phone ringing in the middle of the night.

怕自己太过追求完美 That I'm too much of a perfectionist.

亲爱的这不是应聘面试 Honey, this isn't a job interview.

噢老天 Oh, man.

最怕应聘面试 Job interviews.

-我无所畏惧 -对哦那鸽子呢 - Nothing. - Yeah, right. What about the pigeons? 我不喜欢鸽子太奸诈 Oh, I don't like them. They're shifty.

-失去米奇尔 -噢 - Losing Mitchell. - Oh!

-酒店床单 -呃 - Hotel bedspreads. - Ooh.

拿不到驾照 Never getting my driver's license.

或者是驾照上的照片很丑 Or getting one and the picture sucks.

孤独终老 Dying alone.

海莉亲爱的找到你的鞋了吗 Oh, Haley, sweetie, did you find your shoes?

妈拜托今天别烦我 Mom, please, not today.

我只想知道你找到鞋没 I just wanted to know if you found your shoes.

别缠着我了我现在紧张死了 Why are you hounding me? I'm freaking out right now. 放松不过是路考而已 You need to relax. It's just a driver's test.

是我的第三次路考如果再考不过 It's my third driver's test, and if I fail again, 要等六个月才能再考 I have to wait six months to retake it.

意味着还要坐半年你开的车 That's six more months of you driving me everywhere.

然后我就说"我绝对不会穿的" Then I'm, like, "There's no way I'm wearing that."

-她就说"如果你不穿 -别老说"就" - And she was, like. "Well, if you don't wear it, -Like

那就没得玩" then you can't play."

-然后我就说"我无所谓" -亲爱的就 - And then I was, like, "That's fine by me." - Honey, like.

-然后她就说"如果你不玩" -就就 - And then she was, like, "Well, if you don't play" - Like! Like!

-妈 -别老说"就"了 - Mom! -Stop! Stop saying "Like" All the time.

-别给我丢脸 -别说了就就就 - You're embarrassing me! - Stop it! Like, like, like, like, aah!

海莉我找到你的外套了 Haley. Found your jacket.

怎么都跟我过不去我的神啊 Why is everyone on me? God!

-别管她 -她一心不能二用 - Ignore her. - She can't focus on two things at once. 这对司机来说倒是好品质 Always a good quality in a driver.

宝贝我们得去给你买今晚穿的舞鞋 Sweetie, we need to get you some shoes for the dance tonight.

不需要我不去 No, we don't. I'm not going.

你说什么 What are you talking about?

你为什么不去跳舞 Why would you not be going to the dance?

因为学校的舞会很没劲 Because school dances are lame.

一群稚嫩男生 A bunch of immature boys

表面上假装成熟 trying to impress you with how cool they are...

实则是乳臭未干的呆瓜 when they're really just a bunch of dorks.

准备好去下面探险了吗伙伴 Ready to go down under, mate?

是的 Yes.

你们要干什么 What are you doing?

寻宝 Treasure hunting.

几天前有线电视修理工去了屋子下面 A few days ago, the cable guy was under the house. 他走的时候跟海莉说 When he was leaving, he said to Haley,

"哇下面的藏品真丰富" "Wow. That's quite a collection you've got down there." 问题是我们不知道下面有什么 Here's the thing. We have no idea what he's talking about.

整个星期以来卢克和我越来越好奇 All week, Luke and I have been getting more and more 那些东西是什么 excited about what it could be.

我猜是很酷的旧杂志 I bet it's really cool old magazines.

有可能或者是动物牙齿做的项链 Yeah. Or a bunch of necklaces made out of animal teeth.

或者是虫子琥珀 Or bugs frozen in amber.

如果是几瓶好酒呢 What if it's really expensive bottles of wine?

或者是一套盔甲 Or a suit of armor.

如果是古老的印第安箭头呢 What if there's ancient Indian arrowheads under there? -说不定是金条呢 -你觉得是吗 - What if it's gold bars? - Oh, you think?

神啊你们为什么不直接去下面看看 For God sakes, why don't you go under the house and look?

摩登家庭

第一季第十六集

小卡这个娃娃从哪来的 Hey, Cam. Cam, where did we get this dolly from?

珍妮丝和奥利维亚给的 From Janice and Olivia.

她们昨天拿过来的莉莉很喜欢 They brought it over yesterday. Lily loves it.

有太多"蕾丝边"了就跟她们一样 Seems a little frilly, you know, coming from them. 就因为她们是拉拉吗 What, because they're lesbians?

你不觉得这是偏见吗 That's sort of an offense stereotype, don't you think?

是啊抱歉 Yeah, I suppose. I'm sorry.

她们把咖啡机还回来了吗 Oh, hey, did they bring back our coffee maker?

没太大了她们是骑摩托车过来的 No. It was too big. They were on their motorcycle. 我们跟莉莉的儿科医生初次见面时很尴尬 We got off to an awkward start with our pediatrician,

她是个热心的亚裔女性 a very nice Asian lady-

-别走题 -叫作缪拉医生 - Irrelevant. - Named Dr. Miura.

于是我冒昧请她过来吃早午餐 So I took the bold step of inviting her over for brunch. 抱歉你说冒昧 I'm sorry. Uh, bold?

她说之前没有病人请过她 She said no patient had ever done it before.

是啊潜台词就是"这很奇怪" Yeah. Subtext, "This is weird."

我不觉得有潜台词 I didn't hear any subtext.

现在也觉得没有吗 Do you hear any now?

真不知道为什么要这样 I don't even know why we're doing this.

因为万一哪天莉莉病了 Because what if Lily gets sick

抗病毒药又短缺了 and there's a Tamiflu shortage?

你觉得谁会拿到药 Who do you think's gonna get that medicine?

当然是她喜欢的病人了 The patient she likes, that's who.

那你给她烤个蛋糕 Well, maybe if you bake her a cake,

也许就能免费照X光了 she'll give us free X-rays.

要套近乎搞好交情 It's all about making connections.

你以为牙医为什么老免费送我东西 Why do you think the dentist gives me all that free stuff?

因为他是个女王受对你情深难自拔 Um, because he's a huge queen and he has a big crush on you.

真的吗你这么觉得吗 Really? Do you think so?

-妈妈 -怎么了 - Mom? - Hmm?

我发烧了 I have a fever.

宝贝过来让我摸摸看 Ay, mi amor. Come here and I feel you.

我不想传染给你可能会致命的 Ooh. I don't wanna get you sick. It could be fatal. 那站在我身边就可以吗 Then by all means, stand next to me.

让我量一下你的体温 Let me feel you.

宝贝你没有发烧 Ay, papi, but you're not warm.

可能是因为你在做饭手温高 Uh, probably because you were cooking and your hands are warm.

我明天还是不去参加派对了安全起见 I better skip the party tomorrow just to be safe. 是啊明天的派对 Oh. Yeah, the party.

-怎么了 -派对啊 - What? - The party.

我只明白了五分之一 I understand about 20% of what goes on around here.

明天的派对在游乐场举办 The party is at an amusement park,

-曼尼怕坐过山车 -可怜的孩子 - and Manny's afraid of roller coasters. - Poor kid. 不知道他的胆小是遗传谁的 I don't know where he gets his fear from...

他的爸爸什么都不怕 because his father's not afraid of anything.

不怕公牛不恐高 No bulls, no heights,

不怕电梯和高速行驶的车 no helicopters, no fast cars-

但是跟他一起去吃饭等结账的时候 But go to dinner with him and wait for the check to come.

你可以从他眼里看到恐惧 Then you'll see fear in his eyes.

好像服务生是鬼似的 Like the waiter's a ghost.

-兴奋吗 -是啊 - Excited? - Yeah.

我们就像庞塞·德莱昂和他儿子小庞塞 We're like Ponce de Leon and his son, Little Ponce.

-他们是谁 -著名的寻宝家 -Who's that? - Famous treasure hunters.

他叫庞塞他在我们学校会被嘲笑的 His name was Ponce? He'd get made fun of at my

school.

他们可能会叫他"瓶塞" They'd probably call him "Pants."

瓶塞 Pants.

或者"高级皮条客" Or maybe, um, "Fancy Ponce."

这个说得好 That's a good one.

好了 All right.

我们开始吧 Let's do this.

-你还好吧爸爸 -恩我还好 - You okay, Dad? - Yeah. Yeah, I am.

没事这个算什么 Yep. Gonna take a little more

困在黑漆漆的小洞里与野兽共舞 than getting trapped in a small, dark space with a wild animal

-可吓不到你老爸 -好吧 - to rattle your old man. - All right.

当父亲的永远都不想在孩子面前露怯 You never want your kids to see you scared.

你想成为他们心中的坚石 You wanna be that rock

在暴风来临时让他们依靠 that they can grab ahold of in a stormy sea.

实际上石头会沉底那就当漂浮的石头 Actually, a rock would sink. So a floating rock.

重新说一遍风很大你有很多张纸在手 Let's start over. It's windy, and you've got a lot of papers.

好了我们开始吧 Okay. Let's do this, buddy.

好了侦查成功 Okay! Good recon.

知道地形了所以 Got the lay of the land, so-

我们不进去吗 Aren't we going in?

不我们进去 Yep, we are.

但是用上滑雪护目镜和烧烤工具会更有趣吧 But won't it be fun if we did it with ski goggles and barbecue tools?

-应该是的 -对 - I guess. - Yeah.

-就这么干 -好的 - Yeah. Let's do that. - All right.

我想说你这身衣服真好看 Can I just say that is a lovely outfit.

谢谢 Oh. Thank you.

你不穿白大褂挺好看的 Well, it's just nice to see you out of your lab coat.

你身材很好 You actually have quite a nice figure.

差不多行了 Take it down a notch.

我们是在结交朋友不是找3P伙伴 We're trying to make a friend, not initiate a three-way.

莉莉看起来很健康 Lily looks great.

真的吗 Do you think so?

她的牙齿不够多吧 Shouldn't she have more teeth?

我看公园里跑来跑去的孩子们 I see these kids running around at the park,

牙齿锋利得像鲨鱼 and they look like sharks.

不用担心她很好是不是呀莉莉 Don't worry. She's perfect. Aren't you, Lily?

她跟你一起好乖 Oh, look how calm she is with you.

一般见到生人她都没这么安静的 She's usually very fidgety around new people.

她大概是觉得 Well, I just think she senses

你会是她在平日里 you're gonna be a good friend for her...

和流感季节的好朋友 during good times and- and flu season.

妈咪 Mommy.

她刚刚... Did she just-

她刚刚说... Did she just say-

她开口说的第一个字 Well, her first word...

是每一个男同父亲最糟的噩梦 was every gay father's worst nightmare.

-"妈咪" -心绞痛 - "Mommy." - Oh.

杰他不承认 Jay, he won't admit it,

但是我知道曼尼因为错过派对而伤心 but I know that Manny's sad because he's missing the party.

我们带他出去散散心吧 Why don't we take him somewhere to take his mind off it, hmm? 我就知道他怕过山车 I could have guessed he'd have trouble with roller coasters. 每次他坐在理发店的转椅上 That kid gets woozy at barbershops

店员把他转向镜子他都会头晕 when they spin his chair towards the mirror.

带他去码头钓鱼怎么样曼尼 How about we take him to the pier and go fishing, huh? Manny!

-他喜欢钓鱼 -是啊 - He likes to fish? - Yeah.

他的祖上都是渔夫和走私贩 He comes from a long line of fishermen and smugglers. 但我支持钓鱼 But I encourage the fishing.

曼尼你喜欢钓鱼吗 Manny, you like to fish?

钓鱼喜欢啊 Fishing? Yeah.

今天想去码头吗 You want to go to the pier today?

-是要测试我有没有生病吗 -不是的 - Is this a trick to see if I'm really sick? - No. 也许新鲜空气会让你好受点 Maybe the fresh air will make you feel better.

那好啊因为没有什么地方 Well, then yeah, 'cause there's no place

-能让我更加... -滚去拿你的外套吧 - where I'm more at one with - just get your coat. -你紧张吗 -闭嘴艾丽克斯 - Are you nervous? - Shut up, Alex.

我只是问问换做我肯定会紧张 I was just asking. I'd be nervous if I were you.

艾丽克斯别惹你姐姐她没事的 Alex, leave your sister alone. She's gonna be fine. 只要不是同一个监考员他很刻薄 As long as I don't get the same guy. He's so mean. -很可能会遇上 -不会的 - You probably will. - You won't.

-他讨厌我 -他不讨厌你 - He hates me. -He doesn't hate you.

-他吼我 -你把车开到灌木丛里去了 - He yelled at me. - You drove into the bushes. 天啊是他别叫我别叫我 Oh, no. It's him. Please don't be for me. Please don't be for me.

别叫我别叫我你好 Please don't be for me. Please don't be me. Hi.

谢天谢地 Oh, thank God.

快来我待会还有事 Well, come on. I don't have all day.

我要吐了 I'm gonna throw up.

不会的你这样办 Okay, no. This is what you're gonna do.

你进到车里系好安全带 You're gonna get in that car, put on your seat belt...

深呼吸三下放松 and take three deep breaths and relax.

那家伙每天见几百个小孩 This guy sees hundreds of kids every day.

-他很可能不记得你了好吗 -好的 - He probably doesn't even remember you, all right? - Okay.

开始了两次不过的 Yo. Let's move it, two strikes.

这不止三下深呼吸了亲爱的 That's more than three breaths, honey.

这次好多了吧 See how much better this is?

把卡车放进去拍摄视频 The truck goes in. It gets video.

然后我们就能知道下面有什么了 And then we get a preview of whatever's in there. 多妙啊 How ingenious is that, huh?

你是害怕不敢进去吗 Are you just scared to go in?

怎么这么说 Why would you say that?

你把头伸进去的时候尖叫了一下 Well, when you stuck your head in, you screamed a little.

跟你说了那是房子的声音 I told you. That was the house settling.

再说这样酷多了航天航空局就这样 Besides, this is so much cooler. This is how NASA does it.

现在把迷你读书灯递给我 Now, hand me the ltty Bitty Book Light.

行了这就完工了 Yeah. Final piece of the puzzle.

冲啊 Blast off.

-爸爸 -恩 - Hey, Dad? - Yeah?

不知道路你怎么控制车的方向呢 How are you supposed to steer if you don't know where you're going?

时刻注意着靠感觉了 Stay in the present, buddy. Gotta do it by feel.

就像绝地武士那样 Gotta get all Jedi on it.

-你把我的车弄丢了吗 -没有 - Did you just lose my truck? - No.

-你把我的车弄丢了 -我没有 - You just lost my truck! - No, I didn't!

那是我的车外公才送给我的 That was my truck! Grandpa just gave it to me!

-跟你说了要时刻注意着的 -别吼我 - I told you to stay in the present! - Stop yelling! -休战 -好的抱歉 - Truce? - Yeah. Sorry.

真美味 This is delicious.

谢谢 Oh. Thank you.

食谱来自《已故美食家》杂志 The recipe's from the now-defunct Gourmet magazine. 为何我所爱之物都要离我而去 Why do all the things I love go away?

听我说我觉得她没说那个词 Look, I don't even think she said the "M" Word.

不我们听到了再清楚不过了 No, we heard it. It was clear as day.

我不知道我们做错了什么 I- I just don't know what we've done wrong.

我特地辞职在家里带她 I quit my job so I could stay at home with her.

也许这还不够 But maybe it's not enough.

也许我们没能满足 Maybe we're not providing her

她需要的女性气息 with the feminine energy that she needs.

那个我觉得你不必太放在心上 Yeah, I wouldn't be too concerned about that.

你知道这是因为你是亚洲人对吧 You- You know it's because you're Asian, right? -小卡 -不抱歉什么 - Cam. - No, I'm sorry. What?

我应该对房间里的"大熊猫"视而不见吗 Am I just supposed to ignore the giant panda in the room?

熊猫是中国的而我...算了 Pandas are from China. I- Well, it doesn't matter.

好吧我这位歇斯底里的伴侣 Okay, okay. I think what my hysterical partner

是想说我就替你说了 is just trying to say, if I may,

莉莉生命的前六个月里 that for the first six months of her life,

是在孤儿院由一位热心的亚洲女性抚养 Lily was raised by very loving Asian women, in an orphanage,

她和莉莉的感情很深 with whom she clearly bonded.

然后你带着你的亚洲气息来了And then suddenly you come in with all of your Asian-ness...

以及胸部子宫女性特征 and-and-and breasts and womb, lady bits-

唤起了她的回忆我... and it all just comes rushing back to her, and I-

你们真的是反应过度了 You guys are overreacting.

莉莉肯定只是随意发出了两个音节 I'm sure Lily just strung a couple of random syllables together,

听起来刚好像那个词而已 and they happen to sound something like that word.

仅此而已 But that's all.

-你真的这么想吗 -当然 - Do you really think that? - Of course.

她说的对她说的对 She's right. She's right.

我们太可笑了 We're being ridiculous.

我们太可笑了 We're being ridiculous.

你的爸爸们很可笑哦 Your daddies are being ridiculous.

妈咪 Mommy.

好吧 Okay. Well-

-塔克先生 -不不不 - Mr. Tucker - No, no, no.

她做出了决定她要个妈妈 She's made her choice! She's made her choice.

-好了左转 -在这里吗 - All right, left turn. - Here?

-对在十字路口 -好的 - At the intersection, yeah. - Okay.

左转 Left.

-什么 -我说左转但是你右转了 - What? - I said left. You're going right.

不等等我在努力了好不好 Wait. No, wait. I'm trying, okay?

靠边停车 Pull over.

-不我做得到的 -立刻靠边停车 - No, I can do this! - Pull over now.

你哭什么 Why are you crying?

你为什么讨厌我 Why do you hate me?

要命海莉我不讨厌你 Oh, hell. Haley, I don't hate you.

你看上去是个好女孩让我想起了我女儿 You seem like a nice girl. You remind me of my daughter.

所以我希望你快乐长寿 Which is why I want you to live a long and happy life...

安全行车不要伤到我女儿 and be safe and not hurt my daughter.

我真的很想拿到驾照 I really want my license.

我练了很久我发誓 I've been practicing a lot, I swear.

-你会酒后驾驶吗 -不会的长官 - You gonna drink and drive? - No, sir.

-驾驶时发短信 -不会的长官 - You gonna text and drive? - No, sir.

好吧我们再考一次 All right. Let's start this from the beginning.

你能不能先笑一笑 Could you smile first?

你笑的话我就不会这么紧张了 I'll be less nervous if you smile.

好吧似乎没什么用 Okay, that didn't help.

开车吧 Just go.

今天是捕大比目鱼的好日子 Today feels like a good day for halibut.

杰我有没有跟你说过 Hey, Jay, did I ever tell you about the time...

我用黄油和果冻做鱼饵 I used peanut butter and jelly for bait

钓到一条长尾鲨 and I caught a thresher shark?

不记得了你跟我讲过很多趣事 I don't know. You tell me a lot of funny things.

为什么从这边走 Why are we going this way?

这边也可以到 It's just another way to go.

不妙有情况 Uh-oh. Something's going on.

你在说什么 What are you talking about?

醒醒吧老男人 Wake up, old man.

她想让我去坐那个过山车 She's trying to get me on that roller coaster.

-不她不会的 -我就是这么想的 - No, she's not. - Yes, I am.

-什么 -我就说吧 - What? - Told you.

曼尼你得直面自己的恐惧 Manny, you have to face your fears.

这就是我们来这儿的目的吗 That's why we're here?

你怎么不先跟我知会一声 Why didn't you let me in on your little plan?

因为你最不擅长说谎了 Because you're the worst liar.

他肯定会看穿你的 He would have seen right through you.

我不想坐过山车 I don't wanna go on the roller coaster.

曼尼你以前不敢给烧烤点火 Manny, you were afraid to light the barbecue,

但是现在你的眉毛已经长回来了 but now your eyebrows have grown back...

你烤的三文鱼超级美味 and your salmon is legendary.

-万一我掉下来呢 -我会接住你的 - What if I fall out? - I will catch you.

那不可能他会把你碾成肉酱的 That's not possible. He would crush you.

要是我吐了呢 What if I throw up?

我帮你清理反正也不是第一次 I will clean it up. It wouldn't be the first time. 天我穿了双新鞋 Geez, these are new shoes.

你不会放弃的是不是 You're not gonna let up, are you?

宝贝你心里很清楚的 Baby, I think you know the answer.

好吧去克服恐惧吧 Fine. Let's get it over with.

我的勇敢儿子来吧杰 That's my boy. Vamos, Jay.

不我才不去对背不好 No, I'm not going on that. That's bad for my back.

-你的背没有受伤啊 -我耳水不平 - Your back is fine. - I got an inner-ear thing. -拜托别告诉我你也怕这个 -怕 - Oh, please. Don't tell me you're scared too. - Scared?

"怕"字从何说起 What is this "Scared" Stuff from?

我又不是小孩子我才不怕 What am I, a child? I'm not scared.

看吧就说你不擅长说谎 You see? You're the worst liar.

如果他不去那我也不去 Well, if he's not going, I'm not going.

我的神啊好吧我自己去 Oh, for God's sake, fine! I'll go alone.

给你拿好我的"女士"包 Here. Take my girlie purse

你戴上我的"花边'帽 and you my floppy hat,

二位如果需要的话那边有女士洗手间 and if you need it, there's the ladies' room. 我的男子气概尚不足与之抗争 I'm not man enough to fight this.

给你拿好包 Here. Hold my purse.

要死 Oh, hell!

-怎么这么久 -我不知道 - What's taking them so long? - I don't know.

幸好没有间歇泉不然我早发疯了 The only reason I'm not panicking is I haven't seen a giant geyser.

宝贝我知道你今晚不想去的原因 You know, honey, I think I know why you don't wanna go tonight.

-因为学校舞会很没劲 -不 - Because school dances are lame? - No.

-因为你不会跳舞 -才不是 - 'Cause you don't know how to dance. - That's not it. 我可以帮你来吧 I can help you with that. Come on.

-来吧 -我的天不要妈妈 - Come on. - Oh, God, no. No, Mom.

来吧我曾经可是一代舞后 Oh, yeah. Back in the day, I was quite the dancer.

我的天突然间明白你和老爸为何走到一起了 Oh, my God. You and Dad together suddenly makes so much sense.

妈妈停下来停下来 Mom. Mom, stop. Stop.

拜托别跳了我会跳舞 Please, stop. I know how to dance.

我只是不想参与那个怪胎秀 I just don't wanna be part of that freak show.

宝贝你是个漂亮女孩 Sweetheart, you're a beautiful girl.

会有人邀请你跳舞的 Someone will ask you to dance.

我知道但是太傻了 I know that. It's just stupid.

会有人邀请你的 Somebody will ask you.

为什么你老说这句 Why do you keep saying that?

会有人邀请你跳舞的 Somebody will ask you.

要是没有人邀请我呢 But what if they don't?

亲爱的如果他们不邀请你 Honey, if they don't,

那就照我跟你姐姐说的做 then you do the exact same thing I told your sister, okay? 深呼吸三下放轻松 Take three deep breaths and relax.

我连收到的建议都是二手货 Even the advice I get is a hand-me-down.

妈我成功了我考过了 Mom, I did it! I passed!

天啊 Oh, my God!

-我拿到驾照了 -恭喜 - I got my license! - Congratulations!

我拿到驾照了拿到驾照了 I have my license! I got my license!

-车还没停好 -糟糕 - Car's not in "Park." - Oh. Oops.

赶紧去拿驾照 You better run to that counter.

-现在就去 -快跑 - Go. Right now. - Run! Run!

还是不敢相信你把我的卡车弄丢了 Still can't believe you lost my truck.

没了就是没了伙计忘了它吧 It's gone, buddy. Let it go.

也许不去揭秘更好 You know, maybe it's better we don't solve this little mystery. 有时想象中的宝藏更诱人 Sometimes treasure's more sparkly in your imagination.

可能是金子棒球卡或者海盗藏宝图 Or it could be gold or baseball cards or pirate

maps.

你真的觉得下面可能有海盗藏宝图吗 Do you really think there could be pirate maps under there?

我敢肯定是有可能的 I'm a hundred percent sure it's possible.

-好吧我进去 -什么 - All right. I'm going in. - What?

不是吧伙计 Really? Buddy.

看到什么了 What do you see?

什么都看不见下面真黑 Nothing. It's really dark in here.

等等我看到我的车了 Wait a minute. I think I see my truck.

它的旁边是... It's right over there by the- Uh-oh.

-怎么了 -我卡住了 - What? - I think I'm stuck.

-卡在哪了 -我的皮带挂在管子上了 - How are you stuck? -My belt loop got caught on a pipe.

-管子好烫 -试着摆动一下 - And it's hot. - Have you tried wiggling?

爸爸好烫快来 Dad, it's hot! Hurry!

-我来了伙计 -快来下面有蜘蛛 - I'm coming, buddy! - And hurry. There's spiders in here.

就来了 Coming!

抱歉给你带来不快 I'm sorry if we got all weird in there.

不没事 No. It was fine.

我们想说平时不是这样的 Well, we'd like to say it's different than how it usually is, 不过你也知道那是假话了 but you've seen us enough to know that that's not true. 听我说同志们 Guys, listen.

我和我母亲的关系不太好 I had a very complicated relationship with my mother.

她生于日本非常传统 She was born in Japan- crazy traditional.

她不希望我成为医生 She didn't want me to become a doctor.

她希望我结婚生子 She wanted me to get married and have kids.

但是我父亲可以和我沟通 But my father, we would talk...

他会听取我的想法 and he would actually listen to what I wanted.

不管怎么样我想说 Anyway, what I'm trying to say...

母亲的角色并不一定那么重要 is having a mother isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

-谢谢 -谢谢 - Oh! Thank you. - Well, thank you.

如果要我说 And if you ask me,

能有你们两位如此慈爱的父亲 having two fathers who care as much as you do...

莉莉真是世界上最幸运的小女孩了 makes Lily the luckiest little girl in the world. -谢谢 -谢谢你这么说 - Oh! Thank you so much. - Thank you. Thank you for that. -你人真好 -谢谢 - That's very sweet. Thanks. - Thank you.

你和你妈妈现在关系怎么样 And how are things with you and your mom now?

如果我是个典型的传统亚洲女人她就高兴了 The only way she'll be happy is if I'm some Asian stereotype.

但那不是我 But that just isn't me.

我不知道后面有垃圾桶 I didn't see those!

-我来了伙计 -我在这 - I'm coming, buddy. - Over here.

蜘...蛛网要命 That's... a spider web. Oh, God.

我儿子有困难了 My boy was in trouble,

于是我忘却恐惧跑去救他 so I put my fears aside, and I came to his rescue.

这样我算是英雄了吗 Now, does that make me a hero?

当然是了 Yes, it does.

不会有事的 Everything's gonna be okay.

不会有事的 Hey. Everything's gonna be okay.

-好了 -谢谢爸爸 - There. - Thanks, Dad.

父亲就该救孩子于危难之中我们出去吧 Hey, that's what dads do. Let's get out of here.

-我想拿回我的车 -真的吗 - I want my truck. - Really?

它是我的圣诞礼物 It was a Christmas gift.

你能去把它捡回来吗 Could you go get it?

可以可以 Yeah. Yeah.

没问题我们钻过去 Sure. Let's go- Let's go through it.

好了就在这 Yeah. There it is.

拿到了 Got it.

-你还好吗 -嗯你好吗 - You okay? -Yeah. Are you okay?

你知道吗我没事 You know what? I am okay.

我们成功了 We did it.

我们到房子下面来了 We're under the house.

怎么样我们进来了 What the heck. We're down here.

-不如看看下面有什么吧 -好啊 - Why don't we see what we got, huh? - Yeah.

两个无畏的冒险者 Two intrepid explorers...

踏上了冒险的旅程 make their way on a journey-

死尸 Dead bodies!

我们报了警叫来了一群警探 We called the police and got a bunch of detectives over. 结果那些是屋子前主人的万圣节装饰品 Turns out it was the last owner's Halloween decorations,

真是搞笑 which is pretty funny.

至少我是这么觉得 Least I thought it was.

每个人都有怕的东西不是吗 Everybody's afraid of something, right?

怕高怕小丑怕窄小的空间 Heights, clowns, tight spaces.

喜欢吗杰 You like it, Jay?

我做到了 I did it!

这些都可以克服 Those are things you get over.

然后我们还有孩子 But then there's our children.

他们是否合群 Will they fit in?

是否安全 Will they be safe?

我们注定要担心一辈子 Those are fears you never get past.

所以有时我们只能 So sometimes all you can do...

深呼吸拥抱他们 is take a deep breath, pull 'em close...

希望一切安好 and hope for the best.

-再见 -注意路面 - Bye! - Eyes on the road.

-爱你们 -注意路面 - Love you! - Eyes on the road.

天啊 Oh, God.

我是说人不可能事事顺心 I mean, things don't always work out.

小卡她应该是想要娃娃了 Oh. Cam, I think she wants her doll.

-我不知道在哪里 -妈咪 - I don't know where it is. - Mommy.

妈咪 Mommy.

一捏这娃娃它就会说"妈咪" When you squeeze the doll, it says "Mommy."

-你之前知道吗 -毫不知情 - Did-Did you know that - Not a clue.

娃娃说的"妈咪" The doll says "Mommy."

-是娃娃说的"妈咪" -娃娃说的 - The doll says "Mommy." - The doll says "Mommy." 若事事顺心则要珍惜当下 But you gotta love it when they do.

-爸爸 -什么事 - Hey, Dad. - Hmm?

妈妈说阁楼里有个旧行李箱 Mom says there's an old trunk in the attic.

是的我爷爷的旧扁平行李箱 Oh, yeah. My grandpa's old steamer trunk.

我看的一个电影里面有一个行李箱 In this movie I saw, there was this old trunk... 和一间秘室 and there's a secret compartment.

打开以后里面有很多幅画 And when you opened it, there was a whole bunch of paintings,

都是战争时期藏起来的大画家的作品 by the world's greatest painters, hidden in the war.

我爷爷参与过战争 My grandpa was in the war.

我们要上去看一看吗 Should we go up there?

绝对的说不定里面是钻石呢 Totally. It could also be diamonds.

或者是日本武士军刀 Or a samurai sword.

或者是《独立宣言》 Or the Declaration of Independence.

阁楼里有什么并不重要 You know, it almost doesn't even matter what's up there.

重要的是怎么花用它换来的钱 What matters is what you do with the money from what's up there.

我们可以买艘汽艇 We could get a motorboat.

或者下水道清理机器人 Or a robotic gutter cleaner.

-或者室内泳池 -或者双人潜水艇 - Or an indoor pool. - Or a two-man submarine.