超级有趣的英语故事

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened? " "A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again? " asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我

衣兜里呢？他的耳朵在我衣兜里

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the mon ey I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You' re a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？“她是个卖糖果的。”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie wit hout any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a mom ent and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. T he visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must ha ve better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied theboy.

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。客

人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？”“在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。好客

面试人员给一位前来应征的男士一张履历表，于是就填了这样的信息——

姓名：English or Chinese□英文的还是中文的？

年龄：Confidential（这是私人问题）

身高：Not related to the job（这跟工作有关系么）

体重：Varies all the time before lunch or after（随时改变饭前饭后都不同

居住地：At what stage of my life please be more specific（那是一个特别的地方，我生命的舞台）

电话：Ericsson（爱立信手机）

电子邮件：Only give to pretty and rich girls（只留给漂亮和富有的女孩）

上班时间：The shorter the better（越短越好）

应征职位：A position that has not much to do but surround by pretty and you ng girls（找一个不做什么实事，但能被美女包围的职位）

学历：Graduated at the wild chicken university（毕业于一个你找不着的大学

语言能力：Fluent in bullshits（侃大山是专长）

兴趣：Sleeping and sleeping（睡得天昏地暗）

生日：正月初七

经历：Fooling around all the time（游戏人生）

曾任职位：Decent or not decent□please be more specific（高级的或者低级的都是一种经历）

已婚未婚：Still looking for a rich and beautiful girl□hopefully can find in your c ompany（我正在寻找漂亮又富有的女孩，希望在你们公司能找到

未来期望：Have a speech on stage and retire as soon as possible（只负责主席台讲话，并且希望尽早退休）

希望待遇：Lesser workload the better（比实际工作量拿得多就行

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mic e.

Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrifie d that it ran for it's life.

Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand t

he value of a second language?"

老鼠的第二语言也重要

一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。

母老鼠向着猫叫道："汪，汪，汪"，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。

母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说："现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。"

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt h imself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won.

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

There was a barber in a developing country who had a little shed at the roa dside to cut hair, and a certain man used to come in regularly for haircuts. O ne day he noticed that a dog was always sitting underneath, near the chair where the customers sat for their haircuts. So the man asked the barber, "Is t hat your dog?" And the barber replied, "No, he always comes every day. It's not my dog. I don't know whose dog it is." Then the customer asked, "So if i t's not your dog, you never feed him, right?" And the barber said, "No." And the customer said, "Then why does he always come here every day?" And th

e barber answered, "He's waiting in case an ear comes off." A Very Patient Po och

一处简陋的乡下，一位理发师傅在路边的小棚子帮人理发。有位经常来理发的男士，注意到有一只狗老是喜欢坐在客人的座椅旁边，于是他问师傅：那是你的狗吗？师傅答：不，不是我的狗，我不知道那是谁的狗，不过，它每天都会来。那个客人又问：不是你的狗，

那你从来没有喂过它吗？师傅回答：没有。客人又问:那它为什么每天都来？师傅回答：它

在等看看有没有耳朵掉下来。耐心的狗

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“10块？”妈妈问。 “是的，妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不对吗？” 3 Where is the egg? Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher: Then where is the “egg"? Student: In the cake, sir. 鸡蛋在哪里？ 老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗？ 学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师：“鸡蛋”在哪？ 学生：在蛋糕里，先生 4 Count Tomorrow Morning It?s a night. John is looking at the sky. Tom is John?s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “I?m counting stars.” Tom laughs and says, “It?s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?” 明天早上数

幽默英语小故事(中英文对照)

A Soldier's Brilliant Idea Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it. When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in. Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip. 英语幽默：士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招 由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。 然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。 又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。

英语趣味小故事

One day，a little monkey is playing by the well。 He looks in the well and shouts： “Oh！My god！The moon has fallen into the well！” An older monkeys runs over，takes a look，and says， “Goodness me！The moon is really in the water！” And olderly monkey comes over。 He is very surprised as well and cries out： “The moon is in the well。” A group of monkeys run over to the well。 They look at the moon in the well and shout： “The moon did fall into the well！Come on！Let’get it out！” Then，the oldest monkey hangs on the tree up side down,with his feet on the branch。 feet with his hands。 And he pulls the next monkey’ｓ All the other monkeys follow his suit， And they join each other one by one down to the moon in the well。 Just before they reach the moon ， the oldest monkey raises his head and happens to see the moon in the sky He yells excitedly“Don’ｔ be so foolish！The moon is still in the sky！” A woman was having lunch at a restaurant, and she was enjoying the food very much. But there was a man in the next seat, and he began looking at the floor near her. The woman was angry and asked,“What are you looking for, sir?” “A piece of cake,” the man said to her, “My cake fell to the floor. w! Take this, and go back to “A piece of cake?” the woman said angrily, “It’s dirty no your seat! I’m having lunch now. ” The woman gave the man a big piece of cake.“But,” the man said, “My teeth are in the piece of cake on the floor! A Good Boy Little Tom asked his mother for two yuan. “What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday ?” his mother asked.“I gave it to a poor old woman .” he answered . “You are a good boy. ” said the mother proudly . “ Here are two more yuan , but why are you so interested in the old woman ?” “ She is the one who sells the candy .”

英语幽默小故事10篇

英语幽默小故事10篇

英语幽默小故事10篇 Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减 价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"

简单的英语幽默小故事

简单的英语幽默小故事 1 Mr. Jones had a few days’ holiday, so he said, “I’m going to go to the mountains by train.” He put on his best clothes, took a small bag, went to the station and got on the train. He had a beautiful hat, and he often put his head out of the window during the trip and looked at the mountains. But the wind pulled his hat off. Mr. Jones quickly took his old bag and threw that out of the window too. The other people in the carriage laughed. “Is your bag going to bring your beautiful hat back?” they asked. “No,” Mr. Jones answered, “but there’s no name and no address in my hat, and there’s a name and address on the bag. Someone’s going to find both of them near each other, and he’s going to send me the bag and the hat.” 2 An old lady went out shopping last Tuesday. She came to a bank and saw a car near the door. A man got out of it and went into the bank. She looked into the car. The keys were in the lock. The old lady took the keys and followed the man into the bank. The man took a gun out of his poc ket and said to the clerk, “Give me all the money.”

三分钟英语有趣小故事演讲文档6篇

三分钟英语有趣小故事演讲文档6篇Three minute English interesting story presentation doc ument 编订：JinTai College

三分钟英语有趣小故事演讲文档6篇 小泰温馨提示：演讲是指在公众场合，以有声语言为主要手段，以体 态语言为辅助手段，针对某个具体问题，鲜明、完整地发表自己的见 解和主张，阐明事理或抒发情感，进行宣传鼓动的一种语言交际活动。本文档根据题材主题演讲内容要求展开说明，具有实践指导意义，便 于学习和使用，本文下载后内容可随意修改调整及打印。 本文简要目录如下：【下载该文档后使用Word打开，按住键盘Ctrl键且鼠标单击目录内容即可跳转到对应篇章】 1、篇章1：三分钟英语有趣小故事演讲文档 2、篇章2：三分钟英语有趣小故事演讲文档 3、篇章3：三分钟英语有趣小故事演讲文档 4、篇章4：有趣的三分钟演讲范文 5、篇章5：有趣的三分钟演讲范文 6、篇章6：有趣的三分钟演讲范文 近几年来,我国各高校相继开设了英语演讲课程,英语演 讲的重要性受到越来越多人的认可。下面是小泰为你整理的几篇三分钟英语有趣小故事演讲，希望能帮到你哟。 篇章1:三分钟英语有趣小故事演讲文档

What life is about As we all know, the most important thing in life is our attitude towards it, tons of men have tried different ways of treating life, and some succeeded, some failed, and here are some of the tips they left us. Life isn’t about keeping score. Life isn’t about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin. In fact it’s not about if you have lots of friends or if you are alone, and it’s not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn’t about that. But life is about whom you love and who you hurt. It’s about how you feel about yourself. It’s about trust, happiness and compassion. It’s about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance and building confidence. It’s about what you say and what you mean. It’s about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. And we should always