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What is true love

What is true love
What is true love

What is true love?

Draft

At university, you see all kinds of romance.

Some students meet a beautiful girl or a handsome boy, then immediately start a relationship while they know nothing about each other’s personality. Apparently, they don’t know that true love is not about attractive appearance, but about attractive personality. It’s about kindness, modesty, warm-heartedness and bravery. Chasing after someone with attractive appearance or fashionable clothes is not true love. It’s vanity. Some students regard their boyfriends or girlfriends as the whole world to them. They want to spend every minute together. They ignore their school works, friends and other families as if being in love is the only thing they can do in their lives. They want no one else to have access to their boyfriends or girlfriends. Once they are dumped, their self-esteem just can’t take it. They became depressed, heartbroken. Some even commit suicide. However, true love is not processing another human-being; it’s not completely controlling another person; it’s not all life is about. What’s more, true love doesn’t make one become jealous and irritable. True love makes one become caring and forgiving.

There are other students who believe true love is entertaining together. Once they are in a relationship, they spend all their time going to movies, going shopping, and doing to fancy restaurants and KTV all the time to

enjoy life. However, true love is not entertaining together. It’s sharing happiness and sorrow together; going through thick and thin together; making progress together. True love makes one become a better person. So if you meet the love of your life, love his or her personality, give him or her some space and make progress together.

Comment 1

The whole essay is very fluent. The writer’s opinion is fit for the topic. In addition, the writer introduces the definition, characteristics and the opposite of true love. But the solution of those problems is not clear. Comment 2

The essay defines true love by comparing several examples. The structure is clear. The writer gets the conclusion from three aspects.

Comment 3

The essay is concise and brief. The sentence structures are varied. The definition of true love is clear and exact. The three examples are vivid. The diction is also very concise. However, there is still room for improvement. The writer should add some connective words.

Revised draft

At university, you see all kinds of romance.

Some students meet a beautiful girl or a handsome boy, then immediately start a relationship while they know nothing about each other’s personality. Apparently, they don’t know that true love is not about attractive appearance, but about attractive personality. It’s about kindness,

modesty, warm-heartedness and bravery. Chasing after someone with attractive appearance or fashionable clothes is not true love. It’s vanity. Some students regard their boyfriends or girlfriends as the whole world to them. They want to spend every minute together. They ignore their school works, friends and other families as if being in love is the only thing they can do in their lives. They want no one else to have access to their boyfriends or girlfriends. Once they are dumped, their self-esteem just can’t take it. They became depressed, heartbroken. Some even commit suicide. However, true love is not processing another human-being; it’s not completely controlling another person; it’s not all life is about. What’s more, true love doesn’t make one become jealous and irritable. True love makes one become caring and forgiving.

There are other students who believe true love is entertaining together. Once they are in a relationship, they spend all their time going to movies, going shopping, and doing to fancy restaurants and KTV all the time to enjoy life. However, true love is not entertaining together. It’s sharing happiness and sorrow together; going through thick and thin together; making progress together. True love makes one become a better person. So if you meet the love of your life, love his or her personality regardless of his or her appearance, give him or her some space, be forgiving and make progress together.

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