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2011年3月19日A类雅思作文

2011年3月19日A类雅思作文
2011年3月19日A类雅思作文

Computer technologies are more accessible and cheaper, as a result, more adults work at home and children study at home. Is this a positive or negative development?

As a result of the soaring advancement of technologies, the use of computer has become pr evalent in people’s everyday life. For example, a substantial number of people ranging from workers to students prefer to work and study at home instead of physically sitting in the office and at school.

Few would deny that learning or working through computer at home seems beneficial to people in a number of aspects. Initially, the most obvious merit can be contributed to the release of traffic jams. Since less people tend to use the public or private vehicles commuting from work or school to their home, there is a lower possibility of the incidence of traffic jams. Subsequently, it is convenient for people to work or study at home. Distance learning program is a good case in point. It is the distance learning programs through computer that largely helps people who are unable to go to school have access to education.

On the contrary, a host of people oppose the opinion above. They believe working or studying at home will probably reduce the communication among colleagues and classmates. They fear that this may encourage people to be more indifferent to others, thus resulting in relationship not as close as in the past. Another consideration for those people lies with people’s physical impairments induced from sitting in front of the computer too long. Since all work needs to be done on computer, barely can people spare a minute for rest and a cup of coffee, which will inevitably hazard people health.

All in all, this development can be taken as beneficial as detrimental. It is acceptable for people to work or study with computer at home for sake of the convenience it brings about, but it will also spark off health-related problems and the decrease of people’s social interaction.

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析

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雅思写作批改 (18)

Public museums are no longer important because people can see the historical objects and artworks on the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (250words,within 40min) Traditionally, we usually need to travel a long time to a museum just to view several historical objects as well as artworks, but now, some people, however, suggest that museums are not that significant as we are able to search almost all the details of ones if we like. In my opinion, public museums will not remain as a critical role in our lives. Admittedly, it would be of more inconvenience when we have to go to a certain museum to see some objects rather than searching it on the Internet.For one thing, most of the information online is always free and easy to access but if we are required to one museum we have to pay for the transportation fee, the ticket, even a meal near a museum. For another, it might also be a pity if some of the object would not be exhibit all of the time so it is normal to meeta condition that you could not even take a look at one that you really like. Internet, though, never facing this problem so you can view it any time you want. For those organizations who run the museum such as governments, it is costly to open museums as well as exhibiting and protecting all the time. (时间到)They are supposed to protect the historical object and artwork which always worth several millions of dollars for that reason they not only have to employ some super professional security guard in high salariesbut also buy some high tech machine to spy themand it is really a waste of money. What’s worse, if

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雅思作文批改---经典版 (3)

Some people think that robots are very important to human’s future development. Others thought that they are dangerous and have negative effects on the society. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the robots. The pros and cons of technology development have long attracted considerable public attention for they are closely connected with human life. Some people argue that robotic technology can be very harmful and has the potential to destroy social stability. However, sound and attractive as their arguments may seem, I am still convince that there are more advantages than disadvantages of robots. With the assistance of robots, one can enjoy a more convenient life thus will have more time to accompany his family. For example, if robots can help mothers with gardening and laundry, they will have more time to spend with their kids, which is essential for the mental and physical development of children as well as the harmoness of the family. Healthy family relationship will undoubtly result in a better society eventually, then all of us should thank for the robot. Moreover, the significance of robots is also because they are important supplement or substitution of human labor. For some dangerous job, such as deep well mining and electric work, using robots instead of human will improve the safety rate and efficiency substancially without causing any injury. People who relase from the high pressure of dangerous work can enjoy a better life. However, it is also true to some extent that robots can influent the society in a negative way. For example, crime may become easier and more frequently with the help of high technology; and the substitution of human labor may result in the increasing of unemployment and extend to the decline of economy. However, these problems can be solved by education. A proper education means that people will obtain more useful skills and knowledge. It also means that they will become more reliable people who can take responsibility for the society, and these purpose, excitingly, can be achieved in an earlier day with the help of robots. To sum up, robots can help human enjoy a more convenient and safer life. They may have negative effects but we can always fix the problems by education. 总点评:

雅思大作文批改范例4

Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think itis a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both viewsand give your own opinion. It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost money in public libraries. I agree with this idea. Surfing on the internet is the fashion way to search information in modern life, there are a lot of people use computer or mobile phone to find some information on the internet. It is because people believe that internet is the most convenient platform to find the key. People can get all the information they want effectively, rather than go to the library cost a large amount of time to read book. On the other handthe books in libraries are though many times of check and reserve, that can ensure the authority of every book. So some people would like to go to library to read the book and find the truth. Especially in medical book, if doctor find some information is wrong, it will affect the patient who was saved by the doctor. Considering the

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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Foreign languages have increasingly gained popularity among students these years, given that the world is shrinking and each country now has a more frequent contact with the outside world. Many people[c1]argue that children should begin learning a foreign language at elementary school, instead of waiting until [c2] they enter secondary school. There are several reasons for this. Firstly, despite the fact that parents do not want to put too much pressure on their children, they also do not want them to lose at the starting line. This means, if the kids start to learn a foreign language early, their parents are relieved from the thought that their kids will have to catch up later on, which is true to some extent. On the other hand, it is scientifically proved that children tend to learn a language faster before the age of 12. As far as I know, my friends who started to learn English when they were six or seven now have a much more satisfactory English level than those who started at12 or 13. So it is wise to have foreign language course in primary school curriculum. Additionally, learning a foreign language at an earlier age can lay children a solid foundation for future studying.Rather than just learning a language itself, children learn a lot more about the learning methods. As a result, when they enter secondary school, they can explore more languages and enrich their knowledge by extensive readings.

慎小嶷 《十天突破雅思写作》总结2

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如果Task 2准备得较为充分,有信心在40min写出一篇自己满意的议论文,那么就先完成Task 2。反之,就先写Task 1。 9. 齐头式:每段开头顶格写,每两段之间空一行 缩入式:每段开头后退3~4个字母的距离,每个段落之间不空行 10. 可使用I/we、被动语态,但不宜滥用;可将But/So放在句首 11. 7分或以上的作文对于用词的要求是准确,而不是冗长 ?Topics ?学术类写作的特殊要求 1. 不接受缩写形式 2. 不使用非正式口语表达 3. 英美拼写不能混淆 4. 用词要有特色 5. 句式不能过于短促 6. 句式不能过于干瘪 7. 感情色彩不能过于强烈

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●批改By Will 本次批改严格按照ILETS小作文评分标准进行。ILETS小作文评分项:TA (内容的完整性), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。 ●文中标识: 用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加 The graph provides the information concerning the average temperatures on a month basis in three major cities.(介于有两张图,都要提一下。此后可加一句:In addition, clearly demonstrated in the table are the time of sunshine on an annual base.) (补充:在下一段看到了你对于后一张图的总结,这样的话建议你在开头强调一下“the first graph”) As can be seen from the graph, there is a similar trend in terms of average monthly temperature between London and New York during the period from January to December. (可加入连接词:To be specific) The average temperature in London (介于你后面写的是两个城市的数据,这里改为:for both of the cities) gradually rises from January to July both in London and new york, reaching a peak at 25 degrees and 20 degrees respectively. After that, the following 4 months witness a dramatic decrease both in London and new york. In comparison (这里不妨分段), an opposite trend is found in Sydney. It (这是悉尼的第一句,建议写出来具体的量词至少:The temperature) keeps stable at 25 degrees from January to march, after which the average temperature undergoes a considerable descent, reaching the bottom point at approximately 15 degrees, before there is (there is 没必要了,可以去除) a steady ascent by 10 degrees. It is obvious that the table depicts the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. As we can see from the statistics, when it comes to the total annual hours of sunshine, new york ranks first, followed by Sydney ,London lies last. Specifically, people who live in new york enjoy 2,353 hours of sunshine every year, which is similar to people living in London with 2,473 hours (不是人和人像,是时间长短像,改为:which is similar to the amount of sunshine for those in London). However, only 1,180 hours of sunshine are found in London annually. 总评6.5(TA6.5 CC6.5 LR6.5 GRA7.0) 1.语法变化上从句数量可以了,分词的使用还可以多一些。偶尔试试一到两句倒装,如我在开头给你的那个。 2.趋势等词汇变化可以,试着多换换题目话题词汇,如people=residents=citizens

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1.作文题目 School age children and teenagers usually like to do the same things as their friends but parents often have a different idea about what their children should be doing. Should parents always decide how children spend their free time? 2.学生作文 Many school children and teenagers always do the similar stuff together, while their parents usually have different opinions about what their children should do. From my perspective, I think parents should not always decide the free time of children. To begin with, generation gap is a significant problem which happens between parents and children. It is inevitable that children will have different thoughts with their parents. Secondly, as children, they are living in a modern and developing world, which makes them change their minds frequently. However, many parents are quite reluctant to accept new ideas and technologies. Therefore, their views will be dissimilar with their children, which are really impossible to reach an agreement. At last, children prefer trying out new adventurous challenges, whereas their parents are rigid and only want stable life. So parents cannot really control and decide for their children. Furthermore, the ideas of parents are not quite always correct and sometime might mislead their children. Of course, there is no doubt that old people have more life experiences and can handle any difficult situations in most of time. However, the modern world is not as they think as it used to be, so they might under-estimate some circumstances which might have negative effects on their children. For example, most parents believe that as long as their children can obtain higher degrees from universities will definitely have better future. Contrasty, in reality, the abilities and moral standards of children are much more important than just only university degrees. In conclusion, parents should let children to create their own world and give them freedom to assign their leisure time, which might lead them to success eventually. Words: 279 3.老师批改: 文中标识: 用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加 Many school children and teenagers always do the similar stuff together, while their parents usually have different opinions about what their children should do. From my perspective, I think parents should not always decide the free time of children. To begin with, generation gap is a significant problem, which happens between parents and children. It is inevitable that children will have different thoughts with from their parents. For instance, they have their own preference to choosing majors, careers or even the ways of living. (cc:这里需要给出一点他们怎么个不同,比如选未来的职业或者生活等。) Secondly, as

雅思大作文批改范例8复习课程

雅思大作文批改范例 8

精品文档 Some people think that personal happiness s directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion What is the key to access to happiness has aroused people's interest. Some people claim that money plays a vital role in gaining happiness, while others think that there are a variety of elements constricting to it. Personally, I agree with the latter opinion. Money provides people with more opportunities to pursue happiness, because economic success can make it possible for people to enhance their quality of life. By purchasing expensive jewels, luxury house, sports car, etc. without worries of monetary pressure, wealthy person can enjoy better living standards than that of ordinary people. When financial pressure and life stress do not exist in one’s life, he or she is likely to have less worry and have rich entertainment, thereby achieving the access to happiness. Although fortune is significant to obtain happiness, there are also many other factors form important parts of eudemonia. An active lifestyle can prompt people's spiritual treasure. This means that people can receive happiness by having a healthy life, warm relatives and intimate friends. These valuable factors enable people have a positive attitude to tackle difficulties and enjoy a happy Iife. As far as I am concerned, happiness cannot always be purchased by money. Rich material life sometimes could cause negative impact on achieving happiness. It is noteworthy that numerous of wealthy people who have affluent possessions, in contrast, have often ended up in a sick lifestyle. This makes them suffer from sickness, lonely and desperation, in the light of fact that money is no guarantee of happiness. To summarize, financial success could give people an ease Iife to enjoy happiness. However, without an active lifestyle and spiritual treasure, happiness will not be sustainably maintained. 总点评: 本篇文章得分: 6.5 收集于网络,如有侵权请联系管理员删除

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