同济考博英语试题写作辅导-写作全程√

要求: 50分钟内根据命题要求写出一篇不少于250-300字的短文, 满分为20。

写作要求:

1.观点明确

2.结构清楚

1)Thesis statement

2)Topic sentence

3)Detailed discussion (examples, statistics)

4)Conclusion

3.用词恰当

4.有漂亮用词用句, 即闪光点, 适当加分

作文以整体印象为基础分档记分。评分标准如下：

20-17分：内容切题，包括题中所列的全部要点；表达清楚，文字连贯；句式有变化；

基本无语法错误。

16-13分：内容切题，包括题中所列的全部要点；表达清楚，文字连贯，但有少量语法错误。

12-9分：内容基本切题，表达比较清楚，文字尚连贯；但语法错误较多，其中有少量的严重错误。

8-5分：内容基本切题，表达不够清楚，连贯差，有较多的严重语法错误。

4-2分：条理不清，思路紊乱，语言支离破碎，大部分句子均有错误，且多为严重错误。

1-0分：文不切题，语句混乱，无法理解。

全文不足250字，酌情扣分，一般每少20字扣去1分。

Three words to remember: Unity, Coherence and V ariety

Unity 一致/统一/切题

我们来看下面一段文字:

When you wait on tables, remember that people are unpredictable. With this in mind you won’t get flustered, annoyed, or irritable when customers ask for margarine instead of butter, whole wheat instead of white, cottage cheese instead of coleslaw, and French fries instead of salad with their linguini Alfredo. Nor will you think anything of it when a person orders pumpkin pie topped with chocolate ice cream or scrambled egg beaters (cholesterol-free powdered eggs) with greasy home fries and bacon.

这段话的第一句表明了主题, 其后紧跟六个例子说明食客难以伺候,整个段落主次分明, 结为一体。

每个段落表达一个主题(通常用主题句来表达) 段落内不应出现多余的或与主题不相干的内容。否则就破坏了UNITY。文章就不切题了。

议论文的特点

议论文的文章结构一般有三个部分，文章开头部分提出中心论点，主体部分论证观点，结尾部分重申中心论点。

议论文的三个构成要素分别是论点(proposition)、论据(evidence)和论证(logical presentation)。掌握议论文的论点、论据和论证的写作要求和方法是写好议论文的前提条件。考博作文一般不给出文章的论点、论据和论证,考生必须作出自己的选择, 因此审题和构思很重要(见mapping)。

论点是议论文的核心，统锁全篇。对论点的要求主要是正确，明确和可论证性这三点。一篇议论文如果论点不正确，写出来的文章也就失去了意义。同时，论点不应模棱两可，同一篇文章中不能出现两个或以上的核心论点。论点也必须是可论证的。举例来说，“迈克尔·乔丹是20世纪最伟大的篮球运动员”可以作为论点，而“迈克尔·乔丹是找最喜欢的篮球运动员”则不能作为论点，因为这种论断不具可论证性。

论据是证明论点的材料，事实、数据、专家见解、科学原理等都可充当论据。论据的首要条件是有效性。使用论据时需考虑到它们是否与主题相关、是否具有代表性、是否已过时和是否真实等因素。论据的第二个重要条件是客观性。要想使文章具有说服力必须使文章尽量保持客观公正。任何带有主观偏见的论据都会损害文章的说服力。论据的第三个要求是感染力。富有感染力的论据容易引起读者的共鸣．例如，托马斯·杰弗逊在起草《独立宣言》时选择的最强有力的论据就是：

“We hold these truth to be self-evident，that all men are created equal，that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life，Liberty．And the pursuit of Happiness．”

此外，论据应该充分。一篇议论文应该具备充足的论据用以支持中心论点。论据不充分会给人一种底气不足的感觉。

论证是论点和论据之间联系的纽带，起着桥梁的作用。论点与论据之间的逻辑联系借助于一定的推理方式来建立。论证有两种形式，分别是立论和驳论。立论是指对正面观点加以阐明，驳论则是对反面观点加以驳斥。在议论文的写作中，通常的情形是破立结合，既有立论也有驳论。

论证可以借助两种常见的推理方式来进行，它们分别是归纳推理和演绎推理。归纳推理是一种从特殊到一般的推理，借助于个别的、特殊的论据推导出一般性的观点。演绎推理是指通过建立论据与论点之间的蕴涵关系的推理方式，主要借助于三段论来实现。古希腊哲学家伊壁鸠鲁曾做过一个非常著名的关于“上帝是不存在的”的三段论。

“我们不得不承认上帝或者愿意扑灭世界上的邪恶，但他做不到；或者它能做,但他不愿做；或者他既不愿做，又做不到；最后，或者他既愿做，又做得到。

如果上帝愿意做，但做不到，这就不符合“上帝是全能的”这个宗教观念了；如果上帝虽然可以做得到，但他不愿做，这就不符合”上帝是全善的”这个宗教观念了;

如果他既不愿做，又做不到，这当然同上帝的“全能、全善、全智”的本性根本不相符；

如果他既愿意做，同时又做得到，那么世界上为什么还有邪恶的存在?

这只能证明一个问题：上帝是不存在的。”

在论证过程中，论据的安排应该遵循一定的逻辑顺序，比如按轻重、主次、难易等顺序合理组织论据可以使论证具有层次感。

另外，在论证过程中应该避免使用模棱两可的语言表达，像“maybe，perhaps，possibly, sometimes, most often，more often than not，nearly always”或者“in my opinion, I think，as far as I am concerned”这样的用语会不同程度地削弱文章的论证气势。

比较:

段落结构文章结构

(主题引入句) 一. 引言

主题句概述句

1. 展开句论点句

2. 展开句二. 正文

3. 展开句 1. 主题句

结尾句1) 展开句

2) 展开句

3) 展开句

(结尾句)

2. 主题句

1) 展开句

2) 展开句

3) 展开句

(结尾句)

3. 主题句

1) 展开句

2) 展开句

3) 展开句

(结尾句)

三. 结尾

复述论点句

总结正文

(评论)

文章由段落组成，文章在结构和内在特征上与段落非常相似。段落通常是由一个主题句引出，接着是一系列用于说明主题的事实和细节，最后是结尾句。

同样，文章是由开头段、正文部分和结尾段三部分组成。开头段揭示文章主题。正文部分包括几个段落，每个段落有一个主题句和详细的叙述，对文章的主题进行分别阐述。结尾段对全文进行归纳总结。文章是段落的扩展，将围绕同一个主题思想而展开的段落有机地组合起来就构成文章。

应该注意：无论是段落还是文章都要遵循一致性(unity)和连贯性(coherence)原则；每一个段落的主题句都必须围绕散着文章的主题思想展开。只有这样，才能使文章做到全面、完整和统一。

考博作文基本结构：往往包括三个主要组成部分：引言段, 正文(可以是3段), 和结尾段。

1. 引言段：一般由引言句介绍背景(background introduction)和论点句(thesis statement)两部分

组成。引言介绍背景点明文章的题目，然后引出论题(thesis)，也就是从一般的“泛

泛而谈”到个别(from general to specific)，逐步深入。这样文章就显得自然，思

路清晰，对于考生也容易下笔。论题或论题句(thesis statement)是引言段的核心，

也是整篇文章的核心，它决定了文章的内容和文章材料的组织安排。

2. 正文：它们是根据论题句而展开的，对论题句进行解释、说明和阐述。

3. 结尾段：总结全文和收尾，进一步点明主题，加深读者对全文的印象。

(插入“Mapping” [power point文件])

(再插入“如何写论点句thesis” [power point文件])

Example:

A person born in the twentieth century has seen a lot of changes take place in almost all areas of human life. Some people are excited by the challenges that these changes offer; others want to return to the simpler less automated life style of the past. Living in the twentieth century has certain advantages such as a higher standard of living, but it also has some disadvantages such as a polluted environment, the depersonalization of human relationships, and the weakening of spiritual values.

polluted environment …

depersonalization of human relationships…

weakening of spiritual values…

In conclusion, although the twenties century has indeed given us a lot of advantages by making us richer, healthier, freer to enjoy our lives, it has, in my opinion, not made us wiser. The twentieth century has also made our Earth dirtier, our people less humane, and our spiritual lives poorer.

Sample 1:

No doubt, everyone wishes to be successful in life. In discussing this, three fundamental principles should be borne in mind: diligence, devotion, and perseverance.

The first key factor to success is diligence, which simply means no waste of time. Diligence can help us remove ignorance-overcome difficulties, and enlighten our minds. Diligence can make a fool wise, and a poor man rich. If we idle away our time now, our future life will be a failure. If we are diligent now, we will surely be successful in future.

Devotion, which means the concentration of our mind and effort in doing things, is another key factor to success. Whatever job we are doing, we must love it and do it whole-heartedly. Only when we set out our minds on the job can we do it well.

Furthermore, perseverance, or a strong will, is also necessary in order to make success a certainty. If we study or work day after day, them is nothing that cannot be achieved. Without a strong will, on the other hand, we are likely to give up when we meet some difficulties.

In short, the three basic qualities can always urge a person to perform wonderful for final splendid success.

分析：文章的开头段点明了全文的中心思想：任何一个希望成功的人都需要具备三个基本要素，即勤奋、专注和持之以恒。接下来的三段对这三个要素进行了详细的阐述。每——段都有各自的核心思想，而每一段的核心思想又都是围绕着全文的主题思想展开的。结尾段用一句话总结全文。整篇文章主题突出，思想统—，层次分明，结构严谨。

Sample 2:

Should Students Go in for Business?

There are two opposite views on university students? tryi ng their hand at business. One is that doing business helps to adapt themselves better to society after graduation, while the other says it might occupy too much of the students' time and energy which, in turn, has a negative impact on their academic study. In my opinion, as long as we can successfully strike a balance between

doing business and studying, the advantage of the former is more obvious.

Firstly, it lets us put what we have learned to practice. In fact, doing business is not that easy as we have expected. It requires good communication skills, negotiation knacks, and presentation capabilities and so on. Although we can learn all these from textbooks, they are only theoretical. And the real situations are far more complicated. As long as we put theories into practice, we can grasp their essence better. That is also why at present, more universities emphasize on the importance of practice. If it is the case and meanwhile we are provided with the chance to do business ourselves, why should we not have a try?

Secondly, it lets us adapt better to society. It is known that it needs time to conduct the role-shifting from a student to a professional. The earlier we are able to adapt to the business environment of society, the better it is for our future career development. At the same time, doing business is beneficial when we are trying to find the right position in society for ourselves.

Last but not least, it enriches our campus life. Campus life does not merely mean academic study; it involves other aspects too. If we can make best use of our leisure time to do something we are interested in, like business, on the basis of the guarantee that academic study in the universities will not be affected, it surely makes our campus life more colorful and meaningful.

Undoubtedly, doing business is full of risk. To cope with it well not only needs bravery and creativity but also requires knowledge and wisdom. So, through doing business, we, university students are more likely to be a high-caliber intellectual and make a greater contribution to society in future.

Exercise: (Chinese situation)

1.My View on the Construction of the Three Gorges Dam

Although the project of the Three Gorges Dam, the world?s largest dam, is now under construction, the issue of whether it is worth undertaking is still in controversy. Actually ever since the proposal of the construction project was put forward, opinions of it has varied sharply. …

…

…

As the construction of the Three Gorges project has both merits and demerits, what we are going to do is minimize all potential negative effects.

2. Prospect of the New Age of Science and Technology

There is no doubt that the century has marked by a burst of new science and technology. Y et, the technology such as cloning and the internet fills everyone?s heart with delight as well as awe. …

…

…

In my judgment, however, such problems and dangers will be outweighed by solutions and opportunities afforded by the development of science and technology, and balanced by human beings to take corrective action.

3. Reform on Medical Care Service

I can?t agree with newspapers? praise of reform on medical care service as “a success”. On the contrary, I believe that the reform on medical care service won?t work in our nation, a t least in the rural areas of China.

…

…

…

The high cost it has incurred and many defects it has brought about confirm me in the view that the reform on medical care service in China is a failure rather than a wonder.

Opening开头法:

1. Broad Statement Narrowing to a Limited Subject

For generations, morality has been molded primarily by parents, religion, and schools. Children traditionally acquired their ideas about what is right and wrong, which goals are important in life, and how others should be treated from these three sources. But now there is another powerful force influencing youngsters. (thesis) Television is implanting in children negative values about sex, work, and family life.

2. Brief Anecdote

At a local high school recently, students in a psychology course were given a hint of what it is like to be the parents of a newborn. Each “parent” had to carry a raw egg around at all times to symbolize the responsibilities of parenthood. The egg could not be left alone; it limited the “parents ” activities; it placed a full-time emotional burden on “Mom” and “Dad.” This class exercise illustrates a common problem facing the majority of new mothers and fathers. (thesis) Most people receive little preparation for the job of being parents.

3. Idea That Is the Opposite of the One Developed

We hear a great deal about divorce?s disastrous impact on children. We are deluged with advice on ways to make divorce as painless as possible for youngsters; we listen to heartbreaking stories about the confused, grieving children of divorced parents. Little attention has been paid, however, to a different kind of effect divorce may have on children. (thesis) Children from divorced families may become skilled manipulators, playing off one parent against the other, worsening an already painful situation.

4. Series of Short Questions

What happens if a child is caught vandalizing school property? What happens if a child goes for a joyride in a stolen car and accidentally hits a pedestrian? Should parents be liable for their children?s mistakes? Should parents have to pay what might be hundreds of thousands of dollars in damages? Adults have begun to think seriously about such questions because the laws concerning the limits of parental responsibility are changing rapidly. (thesis) With unfortunate frequency, courts have begun to hold parents liable for their children?s mistakes.

5. Quotation

Educator Neil Postman believes that television has blurred the line between childhood and adulthood. According t o Postman, “All the secrets that a print culture kept from children…are revealed all at once by media that do not, and cannot, exclude any audience.” (thesis) This media barrage of information, once intended only for adults, has changed childhood for the w orse.

6. Brief Background on the Topic

For a long time, adults believed that “children should be seen not heard.” On special occasions, youngsters were dressed up and told to sit quietly while adults socialized. Even when they were

alone with their parents, children were not supposed to bother adults with their concerns. However, beginning with psychologist Arnold Gesell in the 1940s, child-raising experts began to question the wisdom of an approach that blocked communication. (thesis) These days, experts agree, successful parents are those who encourage their children to share their thoughts and concerns.

7. Refutation of a Common Belief

Adolescents care only about material things; their lives revolve around brand-name sneaker, designer jeans the latest fad in stereo equipment. They resist education, don?t red, barely know who is president, and exist on a steady diet of Ring-Dings, nachos, and beer. This is what many adults, including parents, seem to believe about the young. (thesis) The reality is, however, that young people today show more maturity and common sense than most adults give them credit for.

8. Dramatic Fact or Statistic

Seventy percent of the respondents in a poll conducted by columnist Ann Landers stated that, if they could live their lives over, they would choose not to have children. This startling statistic makes one wonder what these people believed parenthood would be like. (thesis) Most parents, it seems, have unrealistic expectations about their children. Parents want their children to accept their values, follow their paths, and succeed where they failed.

(插入开头段Type 3练习(power point))

Exercise write introduction sentence for a thesis:

1. Shopping on the Internet

Ebay has become part of life. Anyone surfing on line must know Ebay, which is a newly-rising industry for commercial goods. Whether it is routine marketing for groceries, gift hunting, purchasing trivial necessities, or buy major items, on-line shoppers have the opportunity of selecting and rejecting, of weighing values and of using their own judgment.Therefore, shopping on the internet offers us a world of choices.

…

…

…

To conclude, shopping on Ebay has become an expedition of discovery. It is little wonder that most of us enjoy the wide choices it offers when shopping online.

2. Is Stress a Bad Thing?

“I can?t stand the pressure and competition,” explained one friend of mine when asked why he decided to quit his highly-paid but demanding position in his company recently. My friend may have his own reasons, but I don?t think his decision to quit is wise in reality.

…

…

…

Stress is a natural part of everyday life and there is no way to avoid it. What we can do is to develop our adaptive abilities to deal with it rather than to escape from it.

3. Good Health

Do you wish to work hard for your bright future? Do you wish to reap the harvest of your painstaking? Do you wish to enjoy your life? Y es? Then do you have a good health? As good

health makes it possible to enjoy your life and achieve what you wish for. If you want to realize your wishes, you may want to try some of the following ways to help building up health.

…

…

…

In fact the above-suggested ways have changed me completely. I was once weak and often caught cold. Recently I have attended calisthenic practice organized by our university and have benefited a lot from it. Now, I find my life full of sunshine, with my body in god health condition.

In short, the opening paragraph consisting of two parts: the topic (limited subject) and the thesis (your point of view) has four purposes:

●有论点句It states the thesis of the essay;

●使用引言句It gives background information on the topic;

●引言句要激发读者的兴趣It should arouse the reader?s curiosity about or interest in the topic;

●论点句要提示作文的重点、目的、和发展方向It often indicates the focus, purpose or direction of the composition.

Writing an Effective Body Paragraph正文发展法:

The body of your composition consists of several sentences, each of which develop or support the thesis.

Samples:

Title: Good Health (1996)

Outline given: Ways to keep fit

Y our outline: there are many ways to keep fit

A.To get rid of some bad habits

B.To learn to relax oneself

C.To do some regular exercises

There are many ways to keep fit. First, one should try to get rid of some bad habits. Secondly, one should learn to relax oneself from his working pressure. Finally, one should attend various kinds of physical exercises.

→Now that we know health is the resource of our energy, what should we do to keep fit? First of all, one should try to get rid of some bad habits that damage his health, such as overeating, drinking, smoking, and so on. Secondly, those who are always under pressure working should find time to relax because too much stress can lead to illness. Finally, it is important for one to do lots of physical exercise, which are quite essential for healthy mind and body.

→There are many ways which help t o build up one?s health. In the first place, those who are always on the go from morning till night should find time to relax because too much stress can lead to poor performance and ill health. Secondly, if one wants to keep fit, he must give up the habits that damage his health. Finally, regular exercise is essential for a healthy mind and body. To the best of my knowledge, there is nothing more healthful than a brisk walk in the morning.

Further Exercise:

For this thesis: “To those who haven?t done it, b abysitting looks easy. In practice, though, babysitting can be difficult, frightening, even dangerous.” Y ou can develop the body in at least the following patterns:

1. Description: Details about a child who, while being babysat, was badly hurt playing on a backyard swing;

2. Narration: Story about the time a friend babysat a child who became seriously ill and whose condition was worsened by the babysitter?s remedies.

3. Illustration: Examples of babysitting problems: an infant who rolls off a changing table; a toddler who sticks objects in an electric outlet; a school-age child who is bitten by a neighborhood dog;

4. Process Analysis: Step-by-step account of what a babysitter should do if a child becomes ill or injured;

5. Comparison: Contrast between two babysitters: one well-prepared, the other unprepared;

6. Cause-effect: Why children have bad temper; the effect of such temper on an unskilled babysitter.

7. Argumentation: A proposal for a babysitting training program to be offered by the local community center.

Tips for body paragraph development:

1. It must be relevant:

“Fairly fought arguments can strengthen relationships”

Y ou will use materials about an argument you had with a friend: how the disagreement started, how you and your friend worked out your differences, how your friendship deepened because of what your learned about each other. It would not serve your thesis, to include details about the way negotiating strategies can backfire.

2. It must be specific:

To prevent readers from thinking Who cares? Who says?

Eg. Focus on your own experience working at a fast-food restaurant. Y ou might start by describing how you once worked in such a restaurant. A story to tell. The specific will help readers to “see” the point you are making.

3. It must be dramatic:

To enlarge the reader?s experience.

Eg. To write about “People who affirm the value of life refuse to wear fur coats”. Y ou will write: most animals killed for their fur are caught in steel-jaw, leg-hold traps snap shut on an animal?s

limb, c rushing tissue and bone and leaving the animal to die, in severe pain…

4. It must be accurate:

Suppose to write that dormitory security is lax:

Y ou begin supporting your thesis by narrating the time you were nearly attacked in your dorm hallway. Y ou can even invent some materials, to exaggerate the amount of time it took campus security to respond to an emergency call.

Sample 1:

Going Abroad for Studies

The other day I announced that I would go abroad for further studies right after my college education. My decision evoked the immediate objection of my family: Why should I borrow a huge stun of money for overseas studies while I might receive the same education at home at relatively low cost? My answer is: in addition to knowledge, I can gain experiences that those who stay at home will never have. (用个人经历引出主题，继而引出了文章观点：我出国读书不只是为了知识，还有在国内读书体验不到的经历)

First, experience is the opportunity for the real-life use of foreign languages. (主题句)While a person can study a foreign language at home, the effect can never be compared with constant use of the language in academic and everyday life. There is no better opportunity to improve second-language skills than living in the country in which it is spoken. Living in English-speaking countries such as America and Australia for several years, for example, my English w ill be as perfect as native speakers.

Second, living and studying abroad offers me a different perspective of the world. (主题句) On a university campus, foreign students are likely to encounter their counterparts from different countries and areas and are exposed to different ideas mid values. This helps me to have a meaningful understanding of different societies and inevitably sees my own country in a new light. (在国外接触不同国家的价值观念对了解自己国家,了解世界,开阔眼界是很有帮助的) Third, overseas experience, frustrating and painful as it may be, is helpful (主题句). A person going abroad for study often experiences much more difficulty—difficulty in adapting to a new culture and in dealing with all problems alone. Y et, the difficulty, coupled with the frustration brought on by culture shock, is a rewarding experience for one's future life and development of personality．(在国外遇到的挫折，和独立处理问题的经历对人生的成长是一种宝贵的财富) Although going abroad is expensive and perhaps painful, the payoff is worthwhile. For the benefit is not merely knowledge gained, but the experiences desirable in one's personal life．(回到文章开头：出国学习所得到的不仅仅是知识，而且还有经历)

评语:

1．首尾呼应：My answer is in addition to knowledge，I can gain experiences that those who stay at home will never have．一The benefit is not merely knowledge gained，but the experiences desirable in one's personal life.

2．用词变化：go abroad for study--study abroad—overseas study—study experience；offer a different perspective of—have a meaningful understanding of—see something in a new light;

worthwhile—rewarding.

3．句型变化：A person going abroad for study often experience much more difficulty --difficulty in adapting to a new culture (同位语)；The difficulty, coupled with the frustration brought on

by culture shock, is a rewarding experience (插入过去分词句). There is no better opportunity to improve second-language skills than...(比较级句)．

4. 词汇亮点：evoke, offer a different perspective of …, see something in a new light, be exposed

to ideas, adapt to...

Sample 2

Traditionally, we tend to believe that the major task of a student is studying at school and striving hard to achieve good academic records. Now there is a growing awareness of the importance of preparing university students for their future careers. So there has been a general debate these days on whether to encourage university students to go in for business. In my view, the advantages derived from letting university students start their own business outweigh its negative effects.

To begin with, running a business provides university students with profound hands-on experience and insights that never to be gained from textbooks by sitting in the classroom. For a university student, especially a business major, the best way to test what they have learned on campus is to do business oneself. One can never know whether a theory is right or not by without applying it to the practice. Some people then may argue that running a business might consume too much of the students' time and energy and result in low score academically. But what is the point of achieving a strikingly high score without knowing how to apply the knowledge to the real business practices? Bill Gates, the software giant of today, dropped university halfway and soon became successful. This is a good case in point.

In the second place, running a business helps university students get prepared for their career after graduation. We all know work life is quite different from the life in the ivory tower. Entering the society, they have to be both financially and psychologically independent and take responsibility for themselves. Therefore, they must contact with the outside world as much as possible in order to get themselves fully prepared.

In conclusion, university students have already grown up to make good choices for their own. The society should provide guidance rather than make decisions for them. We should adopt a more tolerant attitude and let the university students choose their own way.

Ending结尾法:

1.Summary

Contrary to what many adults think, most adolescents are not only aware of the important issues of the times but also deeply concerned about them. They are sensitive to the plight of the homeless, the destruction of the environment, and the pitfalls of rampant materialism. Indeed, today?s young people are not less mature and sensible than their parents were. If anything, they are more so.

2. Prediction

The growing tendency on the part of the judicial system to hold parents responsible for the actions of their delinquent children can have a disturbing impact on all of us. Parents will feel bitter toward their own children and cynical about a system that holds them accountable for the actions of minors. Children, continuing to escape the consequences of their actions, will become even more lawless and destructive. Society cannot afford two such possibilities.

3. Quotation

The comic W. C. Fields is reputed to have said, “Anyone who hates children and dogs can?t be all bad.” Most people do not share Fields?s cynicism. V iewing childhood as a time of purity, they are alarmed at the way television exposes children to the seamy side of life, stripping youngsters of their innocence and giving them a glib sophistication that is a poor substitute for wisdom.

4. Statistic

Granted, divorce may, in some cases, be the best thing for families torn apart by parents who battle one another. However, in longitudinal studies of children from divorced families, psychologist Judith Wallerstein found that only 10 percen t of the youngsters felt relief at their parents? divorce; the remaining 90 percent felt devastated. Such statistics surely call into question parents? claims that they are divorcing or their children?s sake.

5. Recommendation or Call for Action

It is a mistake to leave parenting to instinct. Instead, we should make parenting skills a required course in school. In addition, a nationwide hotline should be established to help parents deal with crises such training and continuing support would help adults deal more effectively with many of the problems they face as parents.

Sample:

Stress

The busy schedules that mot adults face from day to day have created a rising health problem in the modern world; Stress affects almost everyone, from the highly pressured executive to the busy homemaker or student. It can cause a variety of physical disorders, ranging form headaches to stomach ulcers and even alcoholism; Stress, like a common cold, is a problem that can?t be cured; however, it can be controlled. A person can learn to control stress by setting realistic goals, enjoying a hobby and/or physical exercise, and by maintaining a good, warm relationship with family and friends.

请为这开头段写一个简单的结尾段(2句), 使用总结法(summary):

Key for reference:

To sum up, the problem of stress is quite common in our society. Although disorders caused by stress vary from person to person, stress can be brought under control if people decide upon practical targets, stay relaxed and develop close and warm relationship with others.

Exercise:

1.

Thesis: … Although Shanghai is a culturally rich city and an important center of national and international business, it still has several serious problems.

Body: A. inadequate transportation system

B. extremely congested condition in the streets

C. lack of affordable housing

Conclusion:

…

key for reference:

In conclusion, Shanghai?s public transit system is in bad shape. Furthermore, the high cost of

housing and massive traffic jams are all negative aspects of this city.

2.

Thesis: … Flextime has obvious advantages for both workers and management although it may not be practical in all types of businesses.

Body: A. increased production per hour

B. workers happier

C. absenteeism declined

D. not advantageous in all types of business

Conclusion:

…

key for reference:

To summarize, flextime has resulted in increased production and happier workers who are less likely to miss work, and it works well in manufacturing and retail industries. But it will work less in service industries such as restaurants and health care industries.

To put it briefly, in the concluding paragraph you usually use one of or more than one of these strategies:

●总结论据A summary of the main points discussed;

●重复论点A restatement of the main idea in different words;

●引用名言A quotation which supports your main point;

●解决方法A solution to the problems you have discussed;

●展望或呼吁A new question or questions your composition raises.

Coherence连贯

由于段落式由一系列句子组成的有机整体, 段内各句之间便存在一定的逻辑关系。因此, 段落对于写好文章有重要的作用。因为在组织段落的同时, 我们也在组织思想,使其成为一个有序的结构, 段内各句的逻辑关系赋予段落以内在的逻辑性, 那么,构成段落的各个句子通过平行, 顺序, 总分, 对比, 因果等方式把段落组织成为一个连贯的整体。除了指称、替代、省略、词义衔接, 使用过渡词是我们保证连贯的简单但有效的手段。要避免受汉语思维的影响(汉语注重…意合?; 英语注重…形合?) 多多注意使用过渡词。

过渡词(transitional/signal Words)

恰到好处的过渡词不仅能够引起评卷人的兴趣，避免枯燥，而且也是表现你驾驭文字能力的点睛之笔。过渡词用起来要变换花样，它们大多是很基本的单词，而且有章可循，大家不妨多记几个。我们还可以通过关键词重复、同义词和代词来实现连贯性。如：

Studies have shown that color is also an important part of the way people experience food. In one rich s tudy, individuals fed a rich red tomato sauce didn?t notice it had no flavor until they were nearly finished eating. Similarly, in another experiment, people were offered strangely colored foods: gray pork chops, lavender mashed potatoes, dark blue peas, dessert topped with yellow whipped cream. Not one of the subjects would eat the strange-looking food, even though it smelled and tasted normal.

Studies have shown that color is also an important part of the way people experience food. In one study, individuals fed a rich red tomato sauce didn?t notice it had no flavor until they were nearly finished eating. Similarly, in another experiment, people were offered strangely colored foods: gray pork chops, lavender mashed potatoes, dark blue peas, dessert topped with yellow whipped cream. Not one of the subjects would eat the strange-looking food, even though it smelled and tasted normal.

常用的过渡词语如下：

次序关系:

first, (second…,) then, next, last, finally, second, …at last, first of all, to begin/start/end with, in the second place, initially, eventually, ultimately, first and most important, last but not least, to conclude, in the end, for one t hing…for another…, above all,

层进关系:

and, additionally, in addition (to), also, as well as, moreover, furthermore, besides, what?s more, both…and, not only…but (also), either…or…, too, equally, in the same way, on the one hand…on the other hand, in the first place…in the second place

列举关系:

for example/instance, as you know, a case in point, in particular, notably, for one thing, for another, to put it simply, stated roughly, as an illustration, to detail this, take…as example, as for, as regards, as to, such as, just as, as an illustration, namely, to illustrate, specifically, including

同位关系:

that is, that is to say, namely, viz. in other words, or rather, in this way, alone this line of consideration, as a popular saying goes…, accordingly, as far as, more over

推理关系:

then, in that case, otherwise, or else, if, unless, lest, provided that, in other words, in that case, in this sense, once…, if possible, if necessary, if so, if not, if not all, the conclusion is…, such being the case, to put it more precisely, under such circumstances

让步关系:

even so, nevertheless, notwithstanding, regarding of, on the other hand, granted, all the same, even though, however, nonetheless, spite of , despite admittedly, for all that, in any case

因果关系:

since, because, for, for that reason, in that, in view of, because of, on account of, owing to, due to, thanks to, in view of, so, therefore, hence, thus, as a result/consequence, consequently, accordingly, so that,

相似关系:

in comparison, similarly, equally in the same way, correspondingly, likewise, in the same way, comparison also, in reality

对照关系:

as…, just as, like, just like, in comparison/contrast with, (when) compared with, by the same token, similarly, conversely, on the contrary, similar to, likewise, similarly, apart from (doing), rather than…, by doing so, in the same vein, whereas

转折关系:

but, yet, however, nevertheless, by/in contrast, on the contrary, by comparison, although, though, unless, even so/though, whereas, while, on the one/other hand, in stead of, in spite of, regardless of, despite, reckless of, of course, by way of, different from this, as opposed to this, but on the other hand, something is just the other way around

强调关系:

above all, most important (of all), indeed, of course, in fact, as a matter of fact, surely, truly, certainly, especially, no doubt, without doubt, last but not the least

解释关系:

as a matter of fact, in this case, in other words, frankly speaking, namely

总结关系:

all in all, all together, in a word, in conclusion, in summary, in brief, in short, in other words, to conclude, to sum up, to summarize, thus, thus, therefore, finally, from the forgoing, as has been mentioned, given all the points

时间关系:

as soon as, by then, by that time, at first, then, after that, later on, since, until/till, not…until, hardly…when, no sooner…than, shortly after, immediately, the moment, before, after, when, while, in the end, finally, at last

空间关系:

above, over, below, under, next to, behind, in front of, on the left/right

Exercise:

Fill in the blanks with transitions that help to move the idea forward:

Foreign cars are often more expensive to own in the United States than American-made cars. __1__, foreign cars cost more to buy. __2__, there are reasons for this. The quality of workmanship that goes into making them is very high. __3__ high tariffs on many foreign models

have raised prices. __4__, foreign cars often cost more to register. __5__ insurance rates can be higher. __6__, parts and repair costs are much greater than they are for American cars. __7__, there are some financial advantages to owning a foreign car. __8__, many of them get better gas mileage, and they need new tires less often than American cars do. __9__, their resale value is higher. The price of a year-old foreign car may be only $300 less than what is cost new. __10__ the price for a year-old American car will be round $1,000 less.

Key: 1. For one thing 2. Of course 3. Then 4. Furthermore 5. In addition 6. Moreover 7. However 8. First 9. Second 10. But

V ariety 多变

句子的多样化(Three writing techniques for emphasis):

(一)句子长度的变化。

一般说来，句子的长短并无优劣之分，长句和短句各有特色，因而句子长短要有所变化，几句短句夹一长句为好。如果一味地使用短句，就会使文章显得孩子气，从而影响文章的总体效果。请看下面这段文字：

She returned to her office．There was a note under the door．It was from Mr. May．He said he was waiting for her in the coffee room. And he had not found her sister．He was sorry to have missed her．

从语法和用词来看，这段文字无可挑剔，但句子长度大体相当，且都是短句，读起来平淡无味。经过修改：

When she returned to her office，she was surprised to find a note from Mr. May under the door．He said be was waiting for her in the coffee room and had not found her sister yet. He added that he was sorry to have missed her．

修改以后，三个句子长度不一，读起来就给人不同的感觉。在写作中，长句和短句一般应交替使用，这一点要特别注意。

同样，句子也不能全是长句。通篇使用长句会让人喘不过气来，不免令人太累。如：This view of philosophy appears to result, partly from a wrong conception of the ends of life, partly from a wrong conception of the kind of goods which philosophy strives to achieve whereas physical science, through the medium of inventions, is useful to innumerable people who are wholly ignorant of it and the study of physical science is to be recommended, not only, or primarily, because of the effect on the student, but rather because of the effect on mankind in general. Thus utility does not belong to philosophy, the study of which has any value at all for others than students of philosophy; it must be only indirectly, through its effects upon the lives of those who study it.

长短句结合的效果:

Witches bring their faces close as goblins glare, their eyes fiery. Approaching stealthily, fiendish devils come to claw a beloved stuffed bear that recoils in horror. These are among the possible terrifying happenings in the world of children?s nightmare.

Witches bring their faces close. Goblins glare with fiery eyes. Fiendish devils stealthily approach to claw a beloved stuffed bear. The boy recoils, in horror. These are often among the terrifying happenings in the world of children?s nightmare.

Exercise:

Please combine the following groups of sentences into two or three sentences with the main idea emphasized.

1. Travel has already begun to recover. Hotel in the city have lost a lot of business. The city was put on the blacklist of the infectious disease. WHO lifts the travel advisory. Tourism in the city will recover during the summer.

Combined:

1. Ever since the city was put on the blacklist of the infectious disease, hotels in the city have lost

a lot of business. With WHO?s lifting of the travel advisory, tourism in the city will recover during

the summer. Indeed, travel has begun to recover.

2. The Internet is the greatest creation of humankind in 20th century. One can get information on the Internet. Y ou can get entertainment on the Internet. Companies can do business on the Internet. People can talk on the Internet. The Internet can give one a broader view of the world. Combined:

2. The Internet is the greatest creation of humankind in 20th century because one can talk, entertain, do business and obtain information on the Internet. Above all, people can broaden their view of the world.

(Y ou can use parallel structure to achieve emphasis. The Internet is the greatest creation of humankind in 20th century. One talk on the Internet; one get entertainment on the Internet; one can do business on the Internet; one can get information on the Internet; one can get a broader view of the world on the Internet.)

3. E-mail has very important advantages over normal mail and telephone calls. It is a natural communication technology. It developed along with the evolution of the Internet. One could write tersely and type imperfectly, and the recipient took no offense. Email works much faster and is more convenient than telephoning.

Combined:

3. E-mail, a natural communication technology developed along with the evolution of the Internet, has very important advantages over normal mail and telephone calls. One could write tersely and type imperfectly without offending the recipient. Email works much faster and is more convenient than telephoning.

(二) 句子开头的多样化。

“主—谓—宾”，“主一系一表”是英语的基本句型。但在写作中如果句句全用这种结构，就成了写作技巧上的一个缺陷。当句子可以用主语开头，同时又可以用其它结构开头时，不妨变换一下。请看以下句子的不同开头方法：

1．Defeated in the minor exchanges，I now play my queen of Trumps. (分词短语作状语从句) 2．Under no circumstances shall we neglect the education of children．(介词短语作状语从句) 3. With great courage, he feared nothing in the world but the disapproving frown of his wife. (介

词短语作状语从句)

4. That you can not do while you sleep．（宾语开句）

5. Equally important is a good habit of reading. (表语开句)

6．There are two ways in which one can own a book（there be句型开句）

7. Intelligent and hard working, the girl is popular with all her classmates. (形容词开头)

8. An expert in forest fire control, the forest ranger (护林人) talked to the campers about safety in

the woods. (同位语开头)

以上各句本来都可以用主语开句，但在篇章中通过改变句子开头，文章就会疏落有致，语言形式丰富多彩。

Ex. Revise the following sentences so that they begin in the various ways mentioned in parentheses.

1. The pioneer was strong and healthy and lived to be 112 years old. (Begin with adjectives.)

____________________________________________________

2. The university will open on September 19 unless circumstances force a postponement. (Begin

with an adverb clause.)

____________________________________________________

3. Beijing, the capital of China, is my birthplace. (Begin with an appositive.)

_____________________________________________

4. Y ou may regret in leisure what you impulsively do in haste. (Begin with a noun clause.)

__________________________________________________

5. The girl was in despair and turned to her friends for help (begin with a prepositional phrase.)

________________________________________

6. The women volleyball players practiced very hard to win the match. (Begin with an infinitive

phrase.)

____________________________________________

7. Tolstoy, completing Ana Karenina, won national recognition is Russia. (Begin with a participial

phrase)

___________________________________________

(三)句子结构的多样化。

句子开头的多样化是句子结构多样化的一种情况。除此之外，写作中还应避免过多使用同一种句型结构。如果一篇文章句子结构没有变化，即使没有语法错误，思路也清晰，但由于同一结构的堆积，读起来未免单调。从语法结构上来说,句子可分为三种: 简单句,复合句, 复杂句。请判断下列是什么句子。

Hot and thirsty, exhausted from the effort of carrying so many groceries, I desired nothing more than an ice-cold glass of lemonade.

Because I was hot and thirsty, I craved lemonade.

Gorillas can learn sign language (手语), and they have been seen teaching this language to others. Y esterday, editorials attacked the plan; a week ago, they praised it.

从主－谓－修饰语这一句型的变化来说，句子可分为四种：

1. 主－谓－修饰语

2. 修饰语－主－谓

3. 修饰语嵌入式

4. 分布形修饰语.

现分别举例:

1. The school board approved the controversial sex education program, despite teachers?

reservation and many parents? objections.

2. Despite teachers? reservation and many parents? object ions,the school board approved the

controversial sex education program.

3. The school board, despite teachers? reservation and many parents? objections,approved the

controversial sex education program.

4. Waiting for food and water, the long line of refugees, angry at the delay, threatened to snap into

violence, a fact that distressed the agency.

总之，句子在形式上的多样化，可以增添文采，强化表现力，加大可读性。

Revising Words:

After refining the sentences in your first draft, you are in a good position to look closely at individual words. Please compare:

The young woman emerged from the interview, her face aglow/aflame. Moving briskly/hurriedly to the coat rack, she tossed/flung her raincoat over one arm. After a carefree/perfunctory“Thank you” to the receptionist, she glided/bolted out of the building.

As far as choice of words are concerned, we should aim for

·economical

·specific rather than general words;

·concrete rather than abstract words;

·strong verbs;

Economical

Please compare:

a.At that time the Friendship Store was open to foreign visitors, not to Chinese customers.

b.At that time the Friendship Store was exclusively open to foreign visitors.

a.He is proud of his achievement, which is justifiable.

b.He is justifiably proud of his achievements.

a.I struggled, fighting to solve the problem, but didn?t succeed.

b.I struggled vainly, fighting to solve the problem.

a.Y ears of watching television have made their attention span shorter.

b.Y ears of watching television have shortened their attention span.

a.The new problem made the economic crisis deep.

b.The new problem deepened the economic crisis.

a.Her smile radiated intelligence and made my heart beat fast.

b.Her smile radiated intelligence and quickened my heartbeat.

Specific rather than general words:

Sponsored by a charitable organization, a group of children from a nearby town visited a theme park. The kids had a great time. They went on several rides and ate a variety of foods.

→Sponsored by the United Glendale Charities, twenty-five underprivileged Glendale grade-schoolers visited the Universe of Fun Themepark. The kids had a great time. They roller-coastered through a meteor shower on the Space Probe, encountered a giant squid on the Submarine V oyage, and screamed their way past coffins and ghosts in the House Horrors. At the International Cuisine arcade, they sampled foods ranging from Hawaiian poi to German strudel.

Concrete rather than abstract words:

(most abstract) entertainment →amusement park entertainment →amusement park ride →roller-coaster ride →roller-coaster ride that simulates space flight →the Space Probe ride at Universe of Fun Themepark (most concrete)

Use Strong Verbs:

Because a verb is the source of action in a sentence, it carries more weight than any other element.

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