生活大爆炸第四季台词05

生活大爆炸 第四季第五集



我只是想说 一部像样的《绿巨人》\All I'm saying is, if they took all the money they spent
让电影公司砸了不少钱\trying to make a decent Hulk movie,
他们完全可以拿这笔钱 造一个真正的绿巨人出来\they could probably just make an actual Hulk.
这观点真是聪明又有趣\That is apt and amusing.
我应该跟艾米?菲拉?福勒分享\I think I shall share that with Amy Farrah Fowler.
她一定会欣赏你的妙语连珠\She'll appreciate the witticism.
不敢当\Thank you.
这同时也能改善你在她心目中的最初印象\It'll also help improve her initial impression of you.
你们俩最近如何\So what's going on with you two?
状态一直维持不变\Well, the status is as it always was.
她是位女生 她也是位朋友\She's a girl. She's a friend.
但她不是我的\She is not my--
请原谅我做这个动作\please forgive me for doing this--
"女朋友"\"Girlfriend."
好吧 好吧\Right, right.
所以你们一直保持在发短信和发邮件的阶段吗\So you're still just texting and emailing?
你难道一点也不想跟她呆在一起吗 比如\You don't feel any need to hang out with her, you know--
呆在一个房间也好啊\be in the same room?
莱纳德 你是我最好的朋友\Leonard, you are my best friend.
我认识你整整七年了\I've known you for seven years,
而我却还难以忍受 咱俩同坐在一个沙发上这个事实\and I can barely tolerate sitting on the couch with you.
你就可以想象得到\Imagine my attitude regarding
我对与艾米?菲拉?福勒长时间身体接触的态度了\prolonged physical proximity to Amy Farrah Fowler.
明白了\Got it.
我感觉你有意见\I sense judgment on your part.
没有 哪有\No, no.
或许有那么一点儿吧\Maybe a little.
我可以认为你的批评是基于嫉妒吗\May I suggest that your criticism is based on jealousy.
嫉妒 有什么值得让我嫉妒的\Jealousy? What do I have to be jealous of?
我与一位女性有一段运行良好且令人满意的关系\I have a functioning and satisfying relationship with a female.
而你没有\You have none.
被你说中了\Oh, right. That.
嫉妒是一个丑陋的 眼发绿光的怪物\Jealousy is an ugly green-eyed monster--
跟绿巨人浩克一样\not unlike the Hulk--
随便说一下 人家也是有女朋友的\who, by the way, also has a girlfriend.
在这段重播里 妮弗?康纳利\In this iteration, Jennifer Connelly,
或许你记得的版本是《美丽心灵》里\whom you may recall as the girlfriend of Russell Crowe
罗素?克洛的女朋友\in A Beautiful Mind,
说不定都和绿巨人共赴巫山了\a feel-good romp if there ever was one.
我才没有嫉妒\I'm not jealous.
莱纳德一点儿也不嫉妒\Leonard not jealous.
我刚想到一件事\You know, it just occurred to me,
如果存在千万个平行宇宙\if there are an infinite number of parallel

universes,
在其中的一个 那里很可能有一位谢尔顿\in one of them, there's probably a Sheldon
他根本不相信有平行宇宙的存在\who doesn't believe parallel universes exist.
很可能 你的重点是什么\Probably. What's your point?
没重点\No point.
这只是让千万个我中的某我\It's just one of the things
发笑的理由之一\that makes one of the mes chuckle.
莱纳德 什么事会让你发笑\What makes you chuckle, Leonard?
最近吗\Hmm, recently?
不是很多\Not much.
是因为那场争端吗 起因于\Is it because of the conflict that arises
你极其需要与一个女人建立对偶关系\from your desperate need to pair-bond with a woman,
而显然所有的女性做出的决定\and the apparent collective decision of all womankind
都是否决了你\to deny you that opportunity?
呃\Um...
你还是把嘴闭上吧\Shut up.
当我爷爷过世之后\You know, when my grandfather died,
剩奶奶独自一人 我妈妈就安排\and Meemaw was alone, my mom arranged for her
让她一周去三次活动中心\to visit a center three times a week
在那里 她可以与同样孤独的人交流\where she could socialize with other lonely people.
这个安排非常好\It's very nice.
他们讨论时事 玩桥牌 吃热乎乎的饭\They discuss current events, play bridge, get a hot meal.
听起来不错\That sounds lovely.
如果你喜欢玩桥牌的话\It is if you like bridge.
你喜欢玩桥牌吗 莱纳德\Do you like bridge, Leonard?
谢尔顿 我只是现在没有人约会而已\Sheldon, I'm just not dating someone right now.
不用把我送到老年活动中心吧\I don't need to go to a senior center.
奶奶一开始也是拒绝 但后来她欲罢不能\Meemaw resisted at first, but now she loves it.
好 如果我最近还没碰到合适的人\Fine. If I don't meet someone soon,
你就把我送去养老院得了\you can put me in a home.
那不是养老院\It's not a home.
是老年人活动中心\It's a senior center.
我们绝不会把奶奶送到养老院\We'd never put Meemaw in a home!
嗨 大家好啊\Hey, guys.
-嗨 -嗨\- Hey. - Hey.
我屈服于社交的压力 跟你们打声招呼吧\All right, I'll bow to social pressure: Hey!
抱歉 我女朋友伯纳黛特打来的\Excuse me. That's my girlfriend, Bernadette.
我给她设了专门的铃声\I assigned her her own ringtone--
用的“四顶尖”唱的《伯纳黛特》\"Bernadette," By The Four Tops.
伯纳黛特 你好啊\Hello, Bernadette.
我给他打电话时 铃声是"褐眼女孩"\When I call him, his phone plays "Brown Eyed Girl."
现在回想起来 好像不是那么好了\Which, now that I think about it, is not so good.
你应该意识到 他是在炫耀他有女朋友而咱们没有\You realize he's just rubbing our noses in the fact
故意让咱们不爽\that he has a girlfriend, and we don't.
你是说 你没有吧\You mean, you don't.
连你都有女朋友了\You

have a girlfriend?
你怎么会有女朋友呢\How could you have a girlfriend?
你在女人面前连话都说不出来\You can't even speak to women.
送你两个字 聋女\Two words-- deaf chick.
所以我说不说话都没关系\It doesn't matter if I can't talk,
因为她根本听不见\because she can't hear me.
什么\What?
这是她的原话\That's what she said.
很好 你有女朋友 霍华德有女朋友\Great. You have a girlfriend, Howard's got a girlfriend,
-谢尔顿有女 -错错错错\- Sheldon's got a girl... - No, no, no, no!
女性朋友\...who's a friend.
多谢\Thank you.
你呢 斯图特\What about you, Stuart?
你有女朋友了吗\You have a girlfriend yet?
有了 有了\Oh, yeah. Yeah.
我们是在动漫大会上相遇的\I met her at Comic-Con,
那里是全世界唯一一个地方\the one place in the world where saying
可以用"我有一家漫画书屋"\"I own a comic bookstore"
作为真正的开场白\is an actual pickup line.
哇哦 恭喜你\Oh. Well, good for you.
其实她很可怕\Not really. She's horrible.
当她想做爱的时候\When she wants to have sex,
她会穿上她超大号的神奇女侠装 然后大喊\she puts on her plus-size Wonder Woman costume and shouts,
"谁想坐一下我的隐形飞机"\"Who wants to take a ride in my invisible plane?"
你为什么不直接跟她分手呢\Why don't you just break up with her?
不 我做不到\No, no, I can't.
为什么\Why not?
因为分手后 我形影单只 像你一样\'Cause then I'd be alone, like you.
兄弟 你为什么不让沃罗威茨\Dude, why don't you just invoke
履行女友条例呢\your girlfriend pact with Wolowitz?
因为我用不着他女朋友\Because I don't need his girlfriend
介绍一个女朋友给我\to set me up with one of her girlfriends.
我完全有能力自己找一个女朋友\I'm perfectly capable of finding a girl on my own.
莱纳德 你让我想到\Oh, Leonard, you remind me
一个古老的搞笑故事\of the funny old story about a man
是讲一个男人拿着一叠\who walks into a women's correctional institution
女囚犯的释放许可\with a stack of paperwork
走进女子监狱\that will allow the female convicts to go free.
你是想说 我即使拿着赦令\You're saying I couldn't get laid
走进女子监狱 也没人会跟我上床\in a women's prison with a handful of pardons.
你到底还让不让我讲这个故事了\Are you going to let me tell the story or not?
莱纳德\Leonard?
你在睡觉吗\Are you sleeping?
没有\No.
你病了吗\Are you ill?
没有\No.
你还为你的寂寞和无人疼爱\Are you still depressed
而郁郁寡欢吗\because you're alone, and no one loves you?
不知道 也许吧\I don't know. Maybe.
我想让你知道 我由衷地关心\I want you to know that I'm genuinely concerned
你的身体健康\about your well-being.
-谢谢 -不用客气\- Thank you. - You're welcome.
但是你还是没有理由把脚放

在我的位子上\But it's still no reason to have your feet in my spot.
我可以说说我的看法吗\May I offer an observation?
搞什么 她在这多久了\What the hell? How long has she been here?
打我们从漫画店回来开始\Since we got home from the comic bookstore.
那是两小时前的事了\That was two hours ago.
根据你的建议\As per your suggestion,
我们正在相处\we're hanging out.
老实说 我都不知道\Quite frankly, I don't see
你有什么好大惊小怪的\what all the hoopla's about.
继续说 艾米\Go on, Amy.
从神经生物学的角度看 莱纳德\From a neurobiological standpoint, Leonard,
你之所以独身\you may be alone
可能是由于你的心理状态\because your psychological state is causing
导致你的身体散发出绝望的味道\an actual pheromone-based stink of desperation.
你知道这个理论吗 莱纳德\Did you know that, Leonard?
-不知道 -我就知道\- No. - I did.
我知道有些人在公共聚集场所\I understand that some people find mates
像是酒吧或是小酒馆里寻找伴侣\in social gathering places such as bars or taverns.
你到酒吧或是酒馆试过吗\Have you tried a bar or tavern?
没有 我才不要去酒吧里泡妞呢\No, I'm not gonna try to pick up a woman in a bar.
明智的决定 听我分析 艾米\Wise decision. You see, Amy,
想要在酒吧成功找到伴侣 是要靠\success at a bar is based on classic male attributes
典型的男性特质的 像是身高 力量\such as height, strength, attractiveness,
魅力 还有喝酒和投飞镖的能力\the ability to hold one's liquor and throw darts --
或是边喝酒边投飞镖的能力\separately or together.
而莱纳德不具备其中的任何一点特质\Leonard has none of these attributes,
对吧 莱纳德\right, Leonard?
没错\Right.
并不是在所有吧都要这样的\That's not true of all bars.
比如说果汁吧\Juice bars, for example.
说得好 艾米\Oh! Good point, Amy.
在这个前提下\Yeah, building on your premise,
莱纳德可以经常光顾寿司吧\Leonard could frequent sushi bars,
沙拉吧 生蚝吧\salad bars, oyster bars,
还有苹果天才吧 你在干吗\the Apple Genius Bar...what are you doing?
继续说吧 我听着呢\Keep going. I'm listening.
真没礼貌\That was rude.
他总是这样\He does it all the time.
他就是社交无能的集合体\He's a cornucopia of social awkwardness.
集合体\Cornucopia.
多么甜美流畅的词呀\What a mellifluous word.
就把这个词定为今日美词吧\Let's make that our word of the day.
同意 明天开始用"甜美流畅"\Agreed. And we'll use mellifluous tomorrow.
我要去排空一下我的膀胱\Well, I have to void my bladder.
跟你一起相处很愉快\It was nice spending this time with you.
等一下\Wait.
我有个请求\I have a request.
什么请求\Yes?
我想让你见见我的母亲\I'd like you to meet my mother.
知道了\I see.
我

回头答复你好吗\Can I get back to you on that?
当然可以 晚安\Certainly. Good night.
晚安\Good night.
莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德\Leonard, Leonard, Leonard,
莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德\Leonard, Leonard, Leonard,
莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德\Leonard, Leonard, leonard,
莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德\Leonard, Leonard, Leonard,
莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德\Leonard, Leonard, Leonard,
莱纳德 莱纳德\Leonard, Leonard,
莱纳德 莱纳德\Leonard, Leonard...
干吗\Yeah, what?
艾米?菲拉?福勒让我见她母亲\Amy Farrah Fowler has asked me to meet her mother.
那又怎样\Yeah. So?
这是什么意思\What does that mean?
你不是总是说\Well, you know how you're always saying
艾米只是你的女性朋友吗\that Amy is a girl who's your friend,
而不是你的女朋友\and not your girlfriend?
-嗯 -你以后就不能再这么说咯\- Uh-huh. - You can't say that anymore.
等一下 你说什么\Wait. What?
她很显然\Look, she obviously wants
想要你们的关系更进一步\to take your relationship to the next level.
我不想更进一步\I don't want the next level.
我喜欢现在这步\I like this level.
帮我搞掂她\Fix it for me!
我\Me?
我怎么帮你搞掂啊\Well, how am I supposed to fix it?
很简单 你想要女朋友\Simple! You want a girlfriend,
艾米想要当别人的女朋友\Amy wants to be someone's girlfriend.
我把她给你 我会祝福你们的\Take her off my hands. I give you my blessing.
你都疯的\That is insane.
没错 不会成功的\You're right. It would never work.
艾米觉得你很乏味\Amy finds you tedious.
好吧 祝你好运\Okay, good luck.
等一下 我该怎么办啊\Wait! What am I supposed to do?
你有没有想过跟她分享你的感受\Well, have you considered telling her how you feel?
莱纳德 我是物理学家 不是嬉皮士\Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
好吧 让我想想\All right, well, let me see
看我能不能用物理现象解释给你听\if I can explain your situation using physics.
如果说你被绑在\What would you be
一个围绕轴心成螺旋状的\if you were attached to another object
倾斜平面上的话 你的下场会是什么\by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?
拧一块儿了[也有完蛋的意思]\Screwed.
懂了吧\There you go.
艾米说的没错\Amy's right.
他真没劲儿\He is tedious.
霍华德 去开门\Howard, get the door!
你干嘛不去\Why can't you get it?
你知道我在为准备结肠镜检查浣肠\You know I'm doing a bowel cleanse for my colonoscopy!
我这里就像个大头朝下的火山\I'm like an upside-down volcano here.
是你呀 好啊\Oh, hey.
但愿你没听到\I hope you didn't hear that.
火山什么的吗 没听到\The volcano thing? No.
怎么穿了这么一件T恤\What's with the T-shirt?
现在在苹果专卖店打工了吗\You working at the Apple store now?
不是啦 就是随便穿的\

No, it's just something I threw on.
你的衣服我都认得\I know all your shirts.
你没这件\That's not one of them...
你假装在天才咨询吧工作\You were pretending to work at the Genius Bar
借机泡妞是不是\to pick up women, weren't you?
是\Yeah.
我发现原来他们只管看着iPod\Turns out, they guard the iPods,
没人管这些T恤\but they don't guard the shirts.
那成果如何\So, how'd it go?
本来挺顺利的\It was going well.
我给个辣妹展示\I was showing this super hot girl
怎样从安全模式启动\how to boot up in Safe Mode.
经理起了疑心 长话短说吧\The manager got suspicious, and, well, long story short,
那商场里真的有个小号房\they really do have a little jail in the mall.
听哥句劝 千万别贴上假胡子接着回去装\Just FYI, don't try to go back with a fake mustache.
他们虽然不天才\I mean, they may not really be geniuses,
却能立马看出你是装的\but they see right through that.
我申请调用女友约定 霍华德\I want to invoke the girlfriend pact, Howard.
你这么饥渴\You that desperate?
也不是 我就是想像你一样\No, I just... I want what you have.
你懂的 身边有个女人\You know, I want a woman in my life.
天呐\Holy Moses,
菊花到底能灌进多少液体啊\how much liquid can be in one tokus?
明确一下 我说的是伯纳黛特不是你妈\To be clear, I meant like Bernadette, not your mother.
我明白你的意思\Yeah, I know what you mean.
我要去见伯纳黛特的朋友了\Well, I'm off to meet Bernadette's friend.
我看起来咋样\How do I look?
就好像《人体异形》里\As if one of the plants
某植物复制出来的你\from Invasion of the Body Snatchers duplicated you in every way,
不过是海量发胶版的\only with an absurd amount of hair gel.
你在干嘛呢\What are you working on?
我在清除我的网络足迹\I'm removing my digital footprint from the Internet
这样艾米?菲拉?福勒就找不到我了\so Amy Farrah Fowler can't find me
也就没法逼我见她妈了\and compel me to meet her mother. Ah.
你是在玩儿失踪啊\You're going off the grid.
正解\Exactly.
早年炸弹客的做法啊 不错嘛\The old Unabomber approach. Kudos.
{\an8}16岁进哈佛 25岁成伯克利教授 后隐居邮寄炸弹
多谢\Thank you.
我还发给了艾米一封关系终止通知\I've also sent Amy a relationship termination notice
并更换了手机号和邮箱地址\and changed my cell phone number and e-mail address.
她直接过来怎么办\What if she just comes over?
她找不到的\She'll get lost.
我们已经不住Los Robles 2311号了\We no longer live at 2311 Los Robles.
我们的现住址是Los Robles 311号\We now live at 311 Los Robles.
你把门牌号给改了\You changed the address on the building?
信件怎么办\What about mail?
放心吧 我跟咱的邮差解释了\Oh, no worries-- I explained my predicament
我当前的囧境\to

our letter carrier.
他很是同情\He was sympathetic.
他的原话是\His exact words were:
"哥们挺你 兄弟\"Got your back, Jack.
妞儿们都疯了"\Bitches be crazy."
谁啊\Who is it?
艾米?菲拉?福勒\Amy Farrah Fowler.
我去 被她逮到了\Darn! She found me!
她来过这里好不好\She's been here before.
智者千虑必有一失\The only flaw in an otherwise perfect plan.
现在你得挺我 兄弟\Now, get my back, Jack.
-你想让我怎么办 -跟她说我不在\- What do you want to do? - Tell her I'm not here.
-那你在哪儿 -不知道\- Okay, where are you? - I don't know.
你得自己设计个情节\You'll have to devise a scenario
合理地解释我的不在场\that plausibly explains my absence,
要记得 说谎的秘诀在于善于编织细节\keeping in mind that the key to a good lie lies in the details.
你好啊 艾米\Hi, Amy.
谢尔顿不在\Sheldon's not here.
好吧\All right.
细节编织得可真到位呀\Way to go on the details.
再次感谢你帮我 伯纳黛特\Thanks again for doing this, Bernadette.
我向来恪守约定\Oh, I take pacts very seriously.
有一次在实验室\One time at my lab,
一个转基因超级病毒培养皿不见了\a petri dish of genetically modified super-virus went missing.
那天我们都拉钩发誓绝不承认\That day we made a pinky swear never to admit
我们曾让埃博拉病毒和伤寒病毒结合\we crossed Ebola with the common cold.
你们为什么要\Why the hell
让埃博拉病毒和伤寒病毒结合\would you cross Ebola with the common cold?
我们没有啊\We never did.
那样就太可怕了\That would be a terrible, terrible thing.
大家好 抱歉迟到了 我从健身房来\Hi. Sorry I'm late-- I was at the gym.
动感训练课 真出了不少汗呢\Spin class-- worked up quite a sweat.
乔伊 这是莱纳德 莱纳德 这是乔伊\Joy, this is Leonard. Leonard, this is Joy.
-好啊 -好\- Hi. - Hi.
你真没有天才相\You don't look like a genius.
来 说点有才的给姐听听\Go ahead, say something smart.
啊哈 时间到\Uh... Aah! Time's up.
开玩笑啦\Just kidding.
你需要了解我的第一件事就是\First thing you need to know about me:
我超搞笑的\I'm hilarious.
看出来了\Yeah.
伯纳黛特告诉我\So, Bernadette tells me
你们是在自卫课上认识的\she knows you from self-defense classes?
没错 以色列格斗术\Yeah. Israeli Krav Maga.
可好玩了\Lots of fun.
基本上是学了一百种不同的\Basically, a hundred different ways
扯下男人蛋蛋的方式\to rip a guy's nuts off.
天呐 没想到这么多啊\Wow. Wouldn't think there'd be that many.
四十二招\Number 42!
天呐\Whoa!
多可爱的姑娘啊\Isn't she a pip?
比邻星是最近的星星\Proxima Centauri's the nearest star.
接下来的天体顺次是\The celestial bodies that follow are
半人马座艾尔法A星 托里星[B星]\Alpha Centauri A, Toli,
伯纳德星\Barnard's

Star,
沃尔夫359星\Wolf 359...
拉兰德21185星\Lalande 21185,
天狼星A 天狼星B[双星]\Sirius A, Sirius B,
鲸鱼座BL星 鲸鱼座UV星\BL-Ceti, UV-Ceti,
罗斯154星\Ross 154...
罗斯248星\Ross 248...
天苑四星\Epsilon Eridani,
拉卡伊9352星\Lac-9352,
罗斯128星\Ross 128,
南河三A\Procyon A...
见鬼 错了\Oh, darn, that's wrong!
宝瓶座鲁坦星A\EZ Aquarii A,
宝瓶座鲁坦星B\EZ Aquarii B,
宝瓶座鲁坦星C\EZ Aquarii C,
南河三A\Procyon A.
这些是离我最近的恒星\Those are the stars that are nearest to me.
一闪一闪那么地亮晶晶\Tra-la-la and fiddle-dee-dee.
天呐\Oh, dear.
妞儿们真是疯了\They really do be crazy.
这龙虾口感十足\This lobster's good on the way down
也回味无穷啊\and the way up.
应该的 一磅要30大洋呢\Should be-- it's $30 a pound.
这算是约会吧\Hey, this is a date, right?
没错\Yep, it is.
第73招\73!
不好意思 我要去一下洗手间\Excuse me, I have to go to the little girls' room...
好好地通体舒畅一下\and take a wicked whiz.
我也一起去\I'll go with you.
友情提醒 我刚吃了芦笋\Fair warning-- I had the asparagus.
我排泄出来的芦笋宝宝们会让这地方臭气熏天\My pea is gonna stink up the place.
我觉得她喜欢你耶\I think she likes you.
宝瓶座鲁坦星B\EZ Aquarii B...
宝瓶座鲁坦星C\EZ Aquarii C...
借过一下 女士\Excuse me, madam.
谢尔顿\Sheldon?
靠\Rats!
我请你去见我母亲这事\I believe a misunderstanding may have occurred
我想你可能有点误会\when I asked you to meet my mother.
我没误会\No misunderstanding.
我了解到那个要求意味着什么\I've learned what that request actually means,
我不想变成一个斜面绕轴\and I don't want to be joined to another object
螺旋状转上几圈之后的样子\by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis.
谁说你完蛋了\In what way are you screwed?
我只是想把你当作男友介绍给我妈\All I want to do is present you as my boyfriend to my mother
让她相信我在恋爱 好让她放心\so she'll be satisfied that I'm in a relationship.
这么说我们是要做戏咯\So we'd be perpetrating a ruse?
一点没错\Precisely.
你没有无可救药地爱上我吗\And you haven't fallen hopelessly in love with me?
别傻了\Don't be absurd.
在我看来 爱情关系\I find the notion of romantic love
是种毫无必要的文化构造\to be an unnecessary cultural construct
对人类关系毫无价值可言\that adds no value to human relationships.
艾米?菲拉?福勒 这是我听过的\Amy Farrah Fowler, that's the most pragmatic thing
最务实的话了\anyone has ever said to me.
既然误会已经澄清了\I trust this clarification allows us to return
我们该回到男性朋友和女性朋友关系了吧\to boy-slash-friend-slash-girl-slash-friend status.
当然\Of course.
想和我一起去吃中餐么\Would you like to join

me for Chinese food?
拜托 谢尔顿 别逼我\Sheldon, please, you're suffocating me.
不好意思\My apologies.
-晚安 艾米 -晚安 谢尔顿\- Good night, Amy. - Good night, Sheldon.
别这样 给她个机会\Come on, just give her a chance.
也许你会慢慢喜欢上她\Maybe she'll grow on you.
也可能她最终成功扯下了我的蛋蛋\or maybe she'll finally succeed in ripping my nuts off.
毕竟还有93种办法她没尝试过呢\There are still 93 ways she hasn't tried yet.
听着 霍华德 谢谢你的好意\Look, H-Howard, I appreciate the effort,
但这是我经历过的最烂一次约会了\but this is, like, the worst date of my life.
真的假的\Seriously?
我被个在犹太交友网上的准变性人给抢了\I was once robbed by a pre-op transsexual I met on J-Date,
这种约会甚至都排不进我的最烂前十\and that didn't even crack my top ten.
我觉得区别在于 我懂得自重\I guess the difference is, I have some self-respect.
我怎么不记得你有\Not that I've ever seen.
最近才有的\It's relatively new.
我只是认识到\I just know that
我不想就为了能有个女友\I'm not gonna spend time with someone I don't like
而和不喜欢的女生在一起\simply to have a girlfriend.
我一个人也挺好\I'm okay on my own.
好消息 我的胃腾够空间来吃甜食了\Good news-- I made lots of room for dessert.
听着 乔伊 很高兴认识你 但...\Look, uh, Joy, it was nice to meet you, but...
我也是 你下周末有空么\Yeah, you, too. Hey, you got anything for next weekend?
我表兄结婚 我要带个伴去\I need a date for my cousin's wedding.
你在约我出去吗\You're asking me out?
是啊\Yeah.
酒啊什么的免费畅饮哦\And it's an open bar,
说不定可以酒后那什么一下\so I'll probably be giving it away.
我很期待\I look forward to it.
我也很高兴认识你 谢尔顿\It's nice to meet you, too, Sheldon.
艾米告诉我她有个男友时\I honestly didn't believe Amy
我真的难以置信\when she told me she had a boyfriend.
我向你保证 我是有血有肉的真人\I assure you I'm quite real.
我和你女儿有着常规性交行为\and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.
啥\What?
是的\Oh, yes.
我们就如同发情期的野生动物\We're like wild animals in heat.
我们居然还完好无损 真是奇迹\It's a wonder neither of us has been hurt.
艾米 他在说什么\Amy... what is he saying?
你希望我交个男友 妈妈\You wanted me to have a boyfriend, Mother.
这就是我的男友\Well, here he is.
现在我得下线了\Have to sign off now.
我对谢尔顿的欲望已让我的花径颤抖\My hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loins.
是的 我是时候该去\Oh, yes, it's time for me to make love
你女儿的阴道里做爱一番了\to your daughter's vagina.
多谢 谢尔顿 效果不错\Thank you, Sheldon, that went very well.
同感\Agreed.
艾米

我禁不住这样想\Amy, I find myself wondering
我们在交往过程中\if we should actually engage in coitus
至少该真的性交一次试试\at least one time in our relationship.
逗你玩\Bazinga.
该睡觉了 你也该走了\Bedtime. Please show yourself out.