雅思写作样题、范文和考官点评(1)

Sample Candidate Writing Scripts and Examiner Comments

Both the Academic and General Training Writing Modules consist of two tasks, Task 1 and Task 2. Each task is assessed independently. The assessment of Task 2 carries more weight

in marking than Task 1.

Detailed performance descriptors have been developed which describe written performance at the 9 IELTS bands. These descriptors are confidential and apply to both the Academic and General Training Modules.

Task 1 scripts are assessed on the following criteria:

?Task Achievement

?Coherence and Cohesion

?Lexical Resource

?Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Task 2 scripts are assessed on the following criteria:

?Task Response

?Coherence and Cohesion

?Lexical Resource

?Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Candidates should note that scripts will be penalised if they are a) under the minimum word length, b) partly or wholly plagiarised, c) not written as full, connected text (e.g. using bullet points in any part of the response, or note form, etc.).

T ask 1

Task Achievement

This criterion assesses how appropriately, accurately and relevantly the response fulfils the requirements set out in the task, using the minimum of 150 words.

Academic Writing Task 1 is a writing task which has a defined input and a largely predictable output. It is basically an information-transfer task which relates narrowly to the factual content of an input diagram and not to speculated explanations that lie outside the given data.

General Training Writing Task 1 is also a writing task with a largely predictable output in that each task sets out the context and purpose of the letter and the functions the candidate should cover in order to achieve this purpose.

Coherence and Cohesion

This criterion is concerned with the overall clarity and fluency of the message: how the response organises and links information, ideas and language. Coherence refers to the linking of ideas through logical sequencing. Cohesion refers to the varied and appropriate use of cohesive devices (for example, logical connectors, pronouns and conjunctions) to assist in making the conceptual and referential relationships between and within sentences clear. Lexical Resource

This criterion refers to the range of vocabulary the candidate has

used and the accuracy and appropriacy of that use in terms of

the specific task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

This criterion refers to the range and accurate use of the

candidate’s grammatical resource as manifested in the

candidate’s writing at sentence level.

T ask 2

Task Response

In both Academic and General Training Modules Task 2 requires

the candidates to formulate and develop a position in relation to a given prompt in the form of a question or statement. Ideas

should be supported by evidence, and examples may be drawn

from the candidates’ own experience. Responses must be at

least 250 words in length.

Writing scripts are marked by trained and certificated IELTS examiners. Scores are reported as whole bands only.

On the next 12pages you will find candidates’ answers to

two sample Writing tests. There are two answer s for each Writing task. Each answer has been awarded a band score and is accompanied by an examiner comment on the candidate’s performance for that

task.

The examiners’ guidelines for marking the Writing scripts are

very detailed.There are many different ways a candidate may achieve a particular band score.The candidates’ answers that follow should not be regarded as definitive examples of any particular band score.

Sample Script A

Examiner comment

Band 5

The length of the answer is just acceptable. There is a good attempt to describe the overall trends but the content would have been greatly improved if the candidate had included some reference to the figures given on the graph. Without these, the reader is lacking some important information. The answer is quite difficult to follow and there are some punctuation errors that cause confusion. The structures are fairly simple and efforts to produce more complex sentences are not successful.

Sample Script B

Examiner comment

Band 6

The candidate has made a good attempt to describe the graphs looking at global trends and more detailed figures. There is, however, some information missing and the information is inaccurate in minor areas. The answer flows quite smoothly although connectives are overused or inappropriate, and some of the points do not link up well. The grammatical accuracy is quite good and the language used to describe the trends is well-handled. However, there are problems with expression and the appropriate choice of words and whilst there is good structural control, the complexity and variation in the sentences are limited.

Sample Script A

Examiner comment

Band 6

The answer has a good introduction in which the candidate has attempted to incorporate his/her own words. There is good coverage of the data and a brief reference to contrasting trends. The answer can be followed although it is rather repetitive and cohesive devices are overused. In order to gain a higher mark for content, the candidate would be expected to select the salient features of the graph and comment primarily on these. Sentences are long but lack complexity. There are some errors in tense, verb form and spelling which interfere slightly with the flow of the answer.

Sample Script B

Examiner comment

Band 7

The answer deals well with both the individual media trends and the overall comparison of these trends. The opening could be more fully developed with the inclusion of information relating to the groups studied and the period of time during which the study took place. There is a good variety of cohesive devices and the message can be followed quite easily although the expression is sometimes a little clumsy. Structures are complex and vocabulary is varied but there are errors in word forms, tense and voice and occasionally the text becomes incoherent.

Sample Script A

Examiner comment

Band 5

The answer is short at just over 200 words and thus loses marks for content. There are some relevant arguments but these are not very well developed and become unclear in places. The organisation of the answer is evident through the use of fairly simple connectives but there are problems for the reader in that there are many missing words and word order is often incorrect. The structures are quite ambitious but often faulty and vocabulary is kept quite simple.

Academic Writing Sample Task 2A Sample Script B

Examiner comment

Band 6

There are quite a lot of ideas and while some of these are supported better than others, there is an overall coherence to the answer. The introduction is perhaps slightly long and more time could have been devoted to answering the question. The answer is fairly easy to follow and there is good punctuation. Organisational devices are evident although some areas of the answer become unclear and would benefit from more accurate use of connectives. There are some errors in the structures but there is also evidence of the production of complex sentence forms. Grammatical errors interfere slightly with comprehension.

Academic Writing Sample Task 2B Sample Script A

Examiner comment

Band 5

Although the script contains some good arguments, these are presented using poor structures and the answer is not very coherent. The candidate has a clear point of view but not all the supporting arguments are linked together well and sometimes ideas are left unfinished. There is quite a lot of relevant vocabulary but this is not used skilfully and sentences often have words missing or lapse into different styles. The answer is spoilt by grammatical errors and poor expression.

Academic Writing Sample Task 2B Sample Script B

Examiner comment

Band 7

The answer is well-written and contains some good arguments. It does tend to repeat these arguments but the writer’s point of view remains clear throughout. The message is easy to follow and ideas are arranged well with good use of cohesive devices. There are minor problems with coherence and at times the expression is clumsy and imprecise. There is a wide range of structures that are well handled with only small problems, mainly in the areas of spelling and word choice.

Sample Candidate Writing Scripts and Examiner Comments

Both the Academic and General Training Writing Modules consist of two tasks, Task 1 and Task 2. Each task is assessed independently. The assessment of Task 2 carries more weight

in marking than Task 1.

Detailed performance descriptors have been developed which describe written performance at the 9 IELTS bands. These descriptors are confidential and apply to both the Academic and General Training Modules.

Task 1 scripts are assessed on the following criteria:

?Task Achievement

?Coherence and Cohesion

?Lexical Resource

?Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Task 2 scripts are assessed on the following criteria:

?Task Response

?Coherence and Cohesion

?Lexical Resource

?Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Candidates should note that scripts will be penalised if they are a) under the minimum word length, b) partly or wholly plagiarised, c) not written as full, connected text (e.g. using bullet points in any part of the response, or note form, etc.).

T ask 1

Task Achievement

This criterion assesses how appropriately, accurately and relevantly the response fulfils the requirements set out in the task, using the minimum of 150 words.

Academic Writing Task 1 is a writing task which has a defined input and a largely predictable output. It is basically an information-transfer task which relates narrowly to the factual content of an input diagram and not to speculated explanations that lie outside the given data.

General Training Writing Task 1 is also a writing task with a largely predictable output in that each task sets out the context and purpose of the letter and the functions the candidate should cover in order to achieve this purpose.

Coherence and Cohesion

This criterion is concerned with the overall clarity and fluency of the message: how the response organises and links information, ideas and language. Coherence refers to the linking of ideas through logical sequencing. Cohesion refers to the varied and appropriate use of cohesive devices (for example, logical connectors, pronouns and conjunctions) to assist in making the conceptual and referential relationships between and within sentences clear. Lexical Resource

This criterion refers to the range of vocabulary the candidate has used and the accuracy and appropriacy of that use in terms of

the specific task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

This criterion refers to the range and accurate use of the candidate’s grammatical resource as manifested in the

candidate’s writing at sentence level.

T ask 2

Task Response

In both Academic and General Training Modules Task 2 requires

the candidates to formulate and develop a position in relation to a given prompt in the form of a question or statement. Ideas

should be supported by evidence, and examples may be drawn

from the candidates’ own experience. Responses must be at

least 250 words in length.

Writing scripts are marked by trained and certificated IELTS examiners. Scores are reported as whole bands only.

On the next 6pages you will find candidates’ answers to one sample Writing test. There are two answer s for this Writing task. Each answer has been awarded a band score and is accompanied by an examiner comment on the candidate’s performance for that task.

The examiners’ guidelines for marking the Writing scripts are very detailed.There are many different ways a candidate may achieve a particular band score.The candidates’ answers that follow should not be regarded as definitive examples of any particular band score.

Sample Script A

Examiner comment

Band 5

The answer is below the word limit and there is some repetition of the task rubric. (Length is a common problem in General Training scripts.) Answers that are short lose marks because of inadequate content and may also lose marks because there is insufficient material in the answer for the examiner to give credit for accuracy and coherence. Despite these problems, the introduction to the letter is appropriate and the purpose of the writer is clear. The points are not always linked together well and punctuation is sometimes faulty. The sentences are kept quite simple and mistakes occur as soon as more complex structures are attempted.

雅思大作文范文三十篇

Topic 1: When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programs) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity. What is your opinion? 媒体信息一致的缺点： ?国际媒体（global media)—般掌握在少数几个有实力的机构手中（in the hands of a few, large, powerful organizations)；有了媒体的宣传(propaganda)后,西方文化成了主流(domineering force),大规模的、有吸引力的广告(mass seductive advertising )唤起了落后地区人们对物质新的向往（create fresh desires),经济联系增强（strong economic ties),西方产品取代了本地产品，使人们更加向往西方的文化； ?文化开始融合在一起(mingle),人们被新的价值观所围绕(bombarded with new values)，对自己的文化失去信心和自豪感（confidence and pride),拒绝接受自己的文化传统（rejection of their cultural heritage)转而接受西方的文化习惯（adoption of Western cultural practices);西方媒体削弱了民族的特征(ethnic identity)和社会的凝聚力（social cohesion);因为担心失去观众(a loss of viewers),当地的电视台也开始播放西方的电视节目（television shows), ?国际媒体的普遍会降低世界文化的品质和多样性（degrade the quality and diversity of world culture);文化被商业化（commercialized), —些文化产品（cultural goods),如音乐、服装，都变成了商品（commodities in the marketplace)。因此，即便一些文化在世界其他地方传播，它原来的性质（authenticity)已经丧失。 媒体信息一致的优点： ?国家之间的频繁交往会促进文化之间的交流。因此，相互了解和相互认同的可能性(likelihood of mutual understanding and mutual acceptance )就会增加，这是顺应全球化的趋势； ?未必一定放弃传统观念（not necessarily lead to the abolition of traditional values),事实上媒体可以起到宣传和稳固传统文化的作用； ?主流媒体一般都会反应文化多元性（The dominant media reflect cultural diversity.); —些外国节目其实促进了文化多元性(Most foreign programming is promoting cultural diversity.),适应了当地的条件（adapt to local conditions)，注意到了当地文化的敏感性（aware of cultural sensitivity).自我调节来适应市场(exercise self-censorship to suit the market :)。 As international media companies expand across the world, the growing popularity and uniformity of some media programs (such as TV shows, movies, fashion shows) is causing worldwide concern. Many people have strong views toward this trend. In my opinion, international media is closely linked to cultural globalization and cultural homogeneity. The dominance of international media is a sign of Western cultural imperialism and has the potential to thwart cultural diversity. It is not a secret that international media is owned and operated by a handful of giant corporations, such as Time Warner. They control large sectors of the media market and place national media companies at risk. The contraction in the number of media owners will cause a proportional reduction, in the variety of programs broadcasted. For example, painting, music and movies accessible in the media have a small number of genres, imposing restraints on one's knowledge of artworks of different cultural backgrounds. In addition to seizing control over those creative industries, global entertainment companies affect cultural diversity by reshaping the perceptions, beliefs and norms of ordinary citizens in different countries. Most of the cultural values and ideals promoted by the leading mainstream media are of American origin. American culture values individuality, maximization of one's benefits and material wealth, rather than communal life and family solidarity, the values and norms previously treasured in" many Asian countries. Unfortunately, many Asian people now imitate American people, causing the alteration of their perceptions of family. This radical change can be attributed to those movies and TV programs that portray the success of American individuals or corporations.

雅思写作批改 (18)

Public museums are no longer important because people can see the historical objects and artworks on the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree? （250words，within 40min） Traditionally, we usually need to travel a long time to a museum just to view several historical objects as well as artworks, but now, some people, however, suggest that museums are not that significant as we are able to search almost all the details of ones if we like. In my opinion, public museums will not remain as a critical role in our lives. Admittedly, it would be of more inconvenience when we have to go to a certain museum to see some objects rather than searching it on the Internet.For one thing, most of the information online is always free and easy to access but if we are required to one museum we have to pay for the transportation fee, the ticket, even a meal near a museum. For another, it might also be a pity if some of the object would not be exhibit all of the time so it is normal to meeta condition that you could not even take a look at one that you really like. Internet, though, never facing this problem so you can view it any time you want. For those organizations who run the museum such as governments, it is costly to open museums as well as exhibiting and protecting all the time. (时间到)They are supposed to protect the historical object and artwork which always worth several millions of dollars for that reason they not only have to employ some super professional security guard in high salariesbut also buy some high tech machine to spy themand it is really a waste of money. What’s worse, if

雅思写作点评范例

雅思写作点评范例 It is true that a lot of children, from below 3 to high school, would like to spend time in watching a range of TV programs and videos. One of the most obvious reasons for this is that these are so attractive, vivid and touching our lives that the children who are curious cannot resist their temptation at all. Some people, especially the parents, argue that this is very damaging. They probably begin by pointing out that their children who are limited in self-control and self-principle will easily take too much time in watching instead of being back to study after doing for a short while. In addition to this, it is well aware that the amount of violence and unhealthy pictures are filled with videos for some reasons. When children who are still simple watch too much amount without any correct guidance, some of them will easily break the laws in the realistic world by imitating the details of crimes. However, others who disbelieve watching TV or video is bad claim that TV programs and the amount of videos can fully help children understand outside world or relax their stressful brains after intense study. Obviously, those who often watch TV have a wider range of knowledge and better understandings to our society than those who do not. All of this is beneficial to children’s growth and their future social life. Overall, I would like to say that watching TV or videos are necessary for children who need knowledge and information, but the point is that parents must ensure their children not to watch too much or too long, and at the same time the Government should give a harsh warning to media with overuse of unhealthy contents. 1. This/these之类的词明显不会用，指代不清； attractive, vivid and touching our lives：明显的并列结构出错； 开头段没有点明作者的观点或者作者要在文中的所做所为。只是简单的改写题目。 2. self-principle??? self-discipline? take too much time in watching: 主语是人的时候，花费多少时间做某事，不能用take；

雅思经典图表作文范文

# 43. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below shows CO2 emissions for different forms of transport in the European Union. The Pie Chart shows the percentage of European Union funds being spent on different forms of transport. You should write at least 150 words.

model answer: The chart shows CO2 emissions per passenger kilometre for variuos methods of transport in the European Union while the pie chart shows European Union spending on transport. Flying by air produces by far the greatest CO2 emissions, approximately three times as much as passenger cars which are the next largest producers. Very little is spent by the EU on air travel while roads make up more than half of the EU transport budget. Trains produce about three times less CO2 emissions per passenger kilometre than passenger cars and eight times less than air travel. Nearly a third of EU transport funds are spent on railways. Ships are a clean form of transport and produce about the same amount of CO2 per passenger kilometre as trains do. However, only 2 percent of EU funds are spent on ports. A further one percent is spent on inland waterways. Coaches are the cleanest form of transport. Emissions of CO2 per passenger kilometre from coaches are half those of buses. Buses emit less than half as much CO2 per passenger kilometre as cars. The European Union spends 10 percent of its transport budget on public transport, such as buses and coaches. (197 words)

Simon考官范文-雅思写作Task 2： problem／solution(问题与解决办法) essay

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雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析 距离雅思写作7分你大概还有3个步骤要走，是的，不是谁都可以轻轻松松活动雅思高分的。今天给大家带来了雅思7分大作范文批改和解析,希望能够帮助到大家，一起来学习吧。 雅思7分大作范文批改和解析 雅思写作提高第一步：结构(5.0 - 5.5) 问题：出国留学的优点(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad) 同学：One reason for those who decide to go overseas to get a higher degree is that they believe they can get better education in certain fields. That is to say, different universities in different countries have their specialized courses and rich resources can be provided according to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in an all-round English environment and being affected by local culture make people quick learners. 解析：出国留学和高学历完全是两回事(出去读初中和高中都算出国);出国就是better education，在国内就不是better? 出

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雅思写作考官范文 Simon17篇

17 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17.

1. Many people prefer to watch foreign ?lms rather than locally produced ?lms. Why could this be? Should governments give more ?nancial support to local ?lm industries? It is true that foreign ?lms are more popular in many countries than domestically produced ?lms. There could be several reasons why this is the case, and I believe that governments should promote local ?lm-making by subsidising the industry. There are various reasons why many people ?nd foreign ?lms more enjoyable than the ?lms produced in their own countries. Firstly, the established ?lm industries in certain countries have huge budgets for action, special effects and to shoot scenes in spectacular locations. Hollywood blockbusters like ‘Avatar’ or the James Bond ?lms are examples of such productions and the global appeal that they have. Another reason why these big-budget ?lms are so successful is that they often star the most famous actors and actresses, and they are made by the most accomplished producers and directors. The poor quality, low-budget ?lmmaking in many countries suffers in comparison. In my view, governments should support local ?lm industries ?nancially. In every country, there may be talented amateur ?lm-makers who just need to be given the opportunity to prove themselves. To compete with big-budget productions from overseas, these people need money to pay for ?lm crews, actors and a host of other costs related to producing high-quality ?lms. If governments did help with these costs, they would see an increase in employment in the ?lm industry, income from ?lm sales, and perhaps even a rise in tourist numbers. New Zealand, for example, has seen an increase in tourism related to the 'Lord of the Rings' ?lms, which were partly funded by government subsidies. In conclusion, I believe that increased ?nancial support could help to raise the quality of locally made ?lms and allow them to compete with the foreign productions that currently dominate the market. (295 words, band 9)

雅思大作文批改范例4

Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think itis a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both viewsand give your own opinion. It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost money in public libraries. I agree with this idea. Surfing on the internet is the fashion way to search information in modern life, there are a lot of people use computer or mobile phone to find some information on the internet. It is because people believe that internet is the most convenient platform to find the key. People can get all the information they want effectively, rather than go to the library cost a large amount of time to read book. On the other handthe books in libraries are though many times of check and reserve, that can ensure the authority of every book. So some people would like to go to library to read the book and find the truth. Especially in medical book, if doctor find some information is wrong, it will affect the patient who was saved by the doctor. Considering the