【上海高考概要写作】summary writing1(有解析)

Exercise 1

With only two weeks to go before Christmas, buying presents is a high priority for a lot of people. However, this year not so many people are leaving their homes to go shopping. These days lots of people can do their shopping in the comfort of their own home with the help of the Internet.

Online shopping is becoming more and more popular for a number of reasons: prices are often lower online; you don’t have to queue up in busy shops and you can buy almost any product imaginable with just a few clicks of your mouse.

Both male and female are buying into the trend, but women are expected to do more shopping on the Internet than men. It seems women are now more attracted to the convenience of online shopping than they used to be. Average spending online this Christmas by women will rise to ￡ 240 (3.360 yuan) compared to the slightly lower average of ￡ 233 (3,262 yuan) for men.

In the past a lot of people were reluctant to shop online. Many were worried about the security of entering their card details on the Internet and the reliability of the Internet but as shopping online has become more widespread, these worries have begun to disappear. 45% of Internet users still do have security worries but it hasn’t slowed down the ever-increasing numbers of online shoppers.

One victim of the online shopping boom is the UK high street. The average spending per person on the high street is only ￡197. 70% of Internet users who are now buying their Christmas gifts online.

参考范文：

This year, people are doing Christmas shopping online at home rather than leave their homes for cheaper goods and more convenience.(要点1) With increasing popularity of online shopping, women spend more than men.(要点2) Although safety is a major concern for shopping online,still more and more people choose to shop online.(要点3) With the pressure from widespread online shopping, traditional shops in the UK high street began their sales promotion earlier this Christmas.(要点4)

分析过程：

一、试题详解

1.核心内容

本文是一篇说明文,共分五段。第一段主要讲随着圣诞购物季的到来,今年许多人选择在家网购。第二段讲了网上购物变得流行的原因。第三段主要是讲无论男女都热衷网购,不过网购对女士更有吸引力。第四段主要是讲对网购安全的担忧并未降低网购人数。第五段主要讲面对网购的冲击,传统商场在圣诞购物季到来时的应对措施——提前打折。

2.写作思路

抓住关键信息,理解段落大意。准确理解文章内容,在此基础上理清文章脉络、概括段落大意是写摘要的关键。第一段的主要信息是However后的这句话,其他则是次要信息。第二段的关键词是popular 和reasons。第三段信息重点是but 后面的“women are ex pected to do more shopping on the Internet than men”。第四段的关键信息是security 和“ever-increasing numbers of online shoppers”,关键信息之间的逻辑关系是转折。第五段主要信息是“the bargains have come early”及其原因,该段大意需要在理解的基础上进行概括。

确定表达要点,简要提炼概括。将每段的段落大意都作为表达的要点可以确保不遗漏。第一段表达要点是“not so many people are leaving their homes to go shopping”也可以是“lots of people can do their shopping in the comfort of their own home with the help of the Internet’’,结合背景圣诞购物,概括起来就是“people are doing Christmas shopping online at home rather than leave their homes”。第二段的表达要点是reasons,可以考虑整合到第一段。第三段的要点是“women are expected to do more shopping on the Internet than men”,利用简化原则,概括起来就是“women spend more than men”。第四段概括起来核心内容是“security worries haven’t slowed down the ever-increasing numbers of online shoppers”。第五段要点是“the bargains have come early”和“one victim of the online shopping boom”, 概括起来就是“Because of the popularity of online shopping,the bargains have come early. ”。

Exercise 2

The brown widow spider became established in Southern California in early 2000 and has become part of the local spider family in urban Los Angeles and San Diego. The brown widow spider is continuing its expansion in Southern California and could possibly move northward into Central California.

The brown widow is suspected to have evolved in Africa although it was first described from South America, which adds confusion as to where it might have originated. It is a tropical and subtropical spider having established populations in Hawaii, Florida, parts of Australia, South Africa and Japan.

The brown widow builds its web in protected sites around homes and in woody vegetation with branches. Some typical sites selected by brown widows for web building are empty containers such as buckets and nursery pots, entry way corners, storage closets and garages. They choose places that are more exposed than sites chosen by black widows and therefore ,appear to be at higher risk for interactions with humans as far as bites are concerned.

One recent study demonstrates that the brown widow spider is less poisonous than other widow species. The reason for the weaker effect of brown widow bites on humans is possibly because the brown widow does not have much poison as its larger relatives, but it is really a threat to humans as to its poison. The two major symptoms of a brown widow bite were that the bite hurt when it was given and it left a red mark.

There is no specific information regarding the control of brown widows by farm chemicals. Most current advice is what is used for controlling spiders in general. Therefore, most commercially available farm chemicals should work on brown widows. Avoiding a mess of the house and the garage should reduce nest sites for them. Also, one should store garage items in plastic bags where there might be interactions with spiders.

参考范文：

The brown widow spider, suspected to develop in Africa and live in tropical and subtropical countries and areas,(要点2) has settled in America and has been found enlarging its population in California.(要点1) It has a preference for protected places as their habitats.(要点3) Though it’s less dangerous than other widow spiders,it’s more exposed to humans.(要点4) Therefore, what we can do is to use insecticides to control them, and reducing clutter around the house should be another way to get rid of its nests.(要点5)

分析过程：

一、试题详解

核心内容

本文是一篇说明文,全文共分五段。第一段主要讲褐寡妇蜘蛛在美国生存并繁衍的过程。第二段说明了褐寡妇蝴蛛可能起源于非洲,主要生活在热带、亚热带国家和地区。第三段说明了该种蜘蛛的生活习惯及特征。第四段主要说明尽管与其他寡妇蜘蛛相比褐寡妇蜘蛛毒性较小,但对人类来说仍是一个威胁,并说明了被褐寡妇蜘蛛咬的特点。第五段说明目前还没有消灭它的办法,人们只能尽力控制和通过保持整洁来预防。

1.写作思路

(1)理清文章脉络,概括段落大意。该文第一段中可以发现本文的关键词为“the brown widow spider”,以及一些美国的地名,可以确认本段的一个关键词为expansion;第二段的主题句是第一句,并且从“where it might have originated”可以清楚地看出说的是蜘蛛的起源。第三段和第四段的主题句都很清晰,都是段首第一句,第五段前两句也表明了段落主要内容,即只能通过一些化学药品来控制。

(2)确定表达要点,灵活准确表达。将每段的段落大意都作为表达的要点可以确保不遗漏。在确定表达要点后要思考如何准确灵活表达,这是难点。因为评分标准要求完全使用自己的语言。灵活表达的重要技巧是对原来的语言进行同义替换（paraphrase),同时要对相关内容进行整合。要点1要点出全文的关键信息“brown spider”正在美国蔓延。要点2说的是褐寡妇蜘蛛的起源及分布地区,这两点内容可以适当整合；为了避免重复,我们可以把一些词进行转换,比如将establish表达为settle, expansion 可以表达为enlarge/spread等。要点3要根据第三段第一句即该段的大意,来表达要点。蜘蛛的栖息地,可用habitat—词表达。最后一句有过渡作用,引出第四段说明该蜘蛛的危害即要点4,表明虽然危险相对较小,但人们更容易接触到它。最后一段说明了我们需要做的预防工作,可以用“what we can do is…”来引出。

Exercise 3

Technological change is everywhere and affects every aspect of life. However, social changes brought about by new technology are often mistaken for a change in attitudes.

An example at hand is the involvement of parents in the lives of their children who are attending college. Surveys on this topic suggest that parents today continue to be “very” or “somewhat” overly- protective even after their children move into college dormitories. The same surveys also indicate that the rate of parental involvement is greater today than it was a generation ago.

However, greater parental involvement does not necessarily indicate that parents are failing to let go of t heir “adult” children. In the context（情境）of this discussion, it seems valuable to first find out the cause of change in the case of parents5 involvement with their grown children. If parents of earlier generations had wanted to be in touch with their college-age children frequently, would this have been possible? Probably not. On the other hand, does the possibility of frequent communication today mean that the urge to do so wasn’ present a generation ago? Many studies show that older parents —today’s grand parents—would have called their children more often if the means and cost of doing so had not been a barrier. Furthermore, studies show that finances are the most frequent subject of communication between parents and their college children. The fact that college students are financially dependent on their parents is nothing new; nor are requests for more money to be sent from home.

Thanks to the advanced technology, we live in an age of bettered communication. This has many implications well beyond the role that parents seem to play in the lives of their children who have left for college. But it is useful to bear in mind that all such changes come from the technology and not some imagined desire by parents to keep their children under their wings.

参考范文：

Technological change affects people’s behavior, but not their own attitude changes.(要点1) For example, today’s parents are considered to be overly-protective or involve too much in their children’s life,（要点2) but the studies show that parents of both today and the past are eager to communicate

with their children frequently if the means and cost allowed and college students, financial

dependence also accounted for their more frequent communication.(要点3) In a word, advanced technology explains greater parental involvement,not the attitude.(要点4)

分析过程：

核心内容

本文是一篇议论文,全文共分四段。第一段主要提出了自己的观点：科技带来的社会变化被误认为是人们态度的改变。第二段以调查为例,说明现在的父母比上一代人更多地干预孩子的生活。第三段通过对现在的父母干预孩子大学生活的原因的描述,证明现在的父母会更多地干预孩子的生活是科技变化的结果而非父母本身态度的改变。第四段,再一次总结观点——科技的进步导致了父母在孩子生活中角色的变化。

写作思路

(1)理清文章脉络,概括段落大意。理清文章脉络、概括段落大意是写摘要的基础,同学们可以通过找主题句、分析段落的逻辑关系来梳理文章的脉络,概括大意。该文第一段提出了总论点“social changes brought about by new technology are often mistaken for a change in attitudes”；第二段是以“the involvement of parents in the lives of their children who are attending col lege”为例,说明人们误认

为的观点。第三段主题句是段落的首句,并以父母较多干预大学生生活的原因为分论点来支持主题句, 说明上一代人也同样会渴望与孩子多联系,而且现代父母与孩子交流的主要话题还是孩子生活上的经济问题,而非父母的过多主观干预。

(2)确定表达要点,灵活准确表达。将每段的段落大意都作为表达的要点可以确保不遗漏。本文的摘要要把全文第一句作为—t"总论点,把“social changes brought about by new technology are often mistaken fo r a change in attitudes”这句话进行同义替换（paraphrase)并对相关内容进行整合。要点3, 作者提出了不同的观点,因此用but连接要点2,与要点2整合。要点4是总结,是对论点的再述,用“in a word”与要点3连接。

Exercise 4

Could you reproduce Silicon Valley elsewhere, or is there something unique about it?

It wouldn’t be surprising if it were hard to reproduce in other countries, because you couldn’t reproduce it in most of the US either. What does it take to make a Silicon Valley?

It’s the right people. If you could get the right ten thousand people to move from Silicon Valley to Buffalo, Buffalo would become Silicon Valley. You only need two kinds of people to create a technology hub(中心）：rich people and nerds(痴迷科研的人）.

Observation bears this out. Within the US, towns have become start-up hubs if and only if they have both rich people and nerds. Few start-ups happen in Miami, for example, because although it’s full of rich people, it’s not the kind of place nerds like. Whereas Pittsburgh has the opposite problem: plenty of nerds, but no rich people. The top US computer science departments are said to be MIT, Stanford, Berkeley, and Carnegie-Mellon. MIT yielded Route 128. Stanford and Berkeley yielded Silicon Valley. But what did Carnegie-Mellon yield in Pittsburgh? And what happened in Ithaca, home of Cornell University, which is also high on the list?

I grew up in Pittsburgh and went to college at Cornell, so I can answer for both. The weather is terrible, particularly in winter,and there’s no interesting old city to make up for it,as there is in Boston. Rich people don’t want to live in P ittsburgh or Ithaca. So while there are plenty of hackers who could start start-ups, there’s no one to invest in them.

Do you really need rich people? Wouldn’t it work to have the government invest the nerds? No, it would not. Startup investors are a distinct type of rich people. They tend to have a lot of experience themselves in the technology business. This helps them pick the right start-ups, and means they can supply advice and connections as well as money. And the fact that they have a personal stake in the outcome makes them really pay attention.

参考范文：

What makes the uniqueness of Silicon Valley is the coexistence of people with wealth and people crazy about technology.(要点1) Neither Miami, a city filled with money,nor Pittsburgh, where one of the top US computer science departments lies, has ever become another Silicon Valley, because the former doesn’t appeal to scientific talents while the latter,due to its bad weather,fails to attract rich people who offer money,experience and attention.(要点2、3)

分析过程：

（1）核心内容：

本文是一篇议论文,全文共分六段。第一段提出问题：硅谷的传奇能否在其他地方复制,它是否有其独一无二性？第二段直接回答首段问题,硅谷的成功很难在其他国家复制,那么到底是什么造就了硅谷的成功呢？第三段承接第二段的问题,回答了硅谷的成功秘诀是拥有两类人：一类是有钱人,一类是科研痴迷者。第四段作者给出了观察所得的证据：在美国境内,迈阿密和匹兹堡两地因不同时具备这两类人未能成为科研创业中心。第五段作者用自己在匹兹堡和伊萨卡两地的生活经历,证实这两地因为天气原因不受富人青睐,从而无法为众多的科研痴迷者提供投资,以至于无法孵化他们的创意。最后一段作者再次提出问题：富人在科研发展方面的作用真的那么大吗？作者认为那些投资创业的富人是一群独特的有钱人：因为他们不仅拥有资金,而且他们也有相关科技行业的经验。

（2）写作思路

找出中心议题,理清文章脉络。该文第一段和第二段提出了两个问题,第一段是个一般疑问句：Could you reproduce Silicon Valley elsewhere,or is there something unique about it?而第二段有一个特殊疑问句：What does it take to make a Silicon Valley?从全文的内容安排上看,第一个问题只是作为引子,第二个问题才是中心议题。文章第三段回答了这个中心议题,认为答案是人。第四段通过反证法给出两个不同的例子证明作者的观点。第五段进一步用作者个人的感受说明第四段中所述的两个城市因为气候原因未能吸引富人前往,即使拥有大量科研人才也难以成为创业中心。第六段提出投资创业的富人的独特性和重要性。所以全文第一、二段提出问题,第三段回答问题,第四至六段证明观点。

确定表达要点,灵活准确表达。本文的摘要可将文章的议题和作者的观点合为要点1。

Exercise 5

It is early in the morning and I’ve hardly caught any shut eye. My breakfast of eggs, bread and strong coffee will keep me awake and alert before lunch. After lunch, I will face an afternoon of yawning in the office. Sometimes I feel uneasy about this situation but I am sure that I am not alone, for it is not too much to say that we all seem to be yawning more often. Are we turning into a generation of insomniacs(患失眠症的人）？How is modern life influencing our sleep patterns?

We can start by blaming the light bulb and other forms of man-made light. Experts say that on average people go to bed and wake up two hours later than the previous generation. Then, there are the computers. Research led by Professor Charles Czeisler of Harvard Medical School has shown that people who read electronic books before going to bed take longer time to fall asleep. They have lower levels of melatonin, a chemical which controls our body clock. And they’re less active in the morning. Professor Czeisler said, “In the past 50 years, there has been a decrease in average sleep length and quality. Since more people are choosing electronic devices for reading, communication and entertainment, especially teenagers who already experience serious sleep loss, research on the longterm influence of these devices on health and safety is urgently needed. M

So the first thing to do if you want to have a restful night is leave computers out of the bedroom. The earlier you get your fingers off the keyboard, the sooner you tend to fall asleep. Avoid alcohol, as it might reduce our cycles of the “rapid eye movement” sleep, when our brains process the information we have received during the day. It prevents our brain activity going well. And do not eat nuts or cheese in the evening.

After that, if you still cannot sleep, start counting sheep. Maybe that is the best way to avoid another afternoon of yawning in the office.

参考范文：

Modern people suffer from the lack of sleep and consequently get into a state of tiredness easily.

(要点1) This phenomenon results from the negative effects of artificial light and computers.(要点2) So in order to solve the problem, people are advised to reject computers, resist alcohol as well as refuse nuts and cheese before bedtime.(要点3) Even counting sheep may help solve the problem in some way.(要点4)

分析过程：

核心内容

本文是一篇议论文,全文共分四段。第一段用形象的语言描述了现代人类缺乏睡眠这一普遍现象。第二段提出了造成这一现象的两大原因,即人造灯光和电脑的使用。第三段针对如何克服睡眠少的现象,建议远离电脑、酒和坚果及奶酪等食品。第四段用幽默的口吻,建议我们数羊来帮助解决缺乏睡眠这一现象。

写作思路

(1)理清文章脉络,概括段落大意。第一段描述现象,没有明显的主题句,需要根据内容进行概括。第二段主旨需要整合第一句和后面的“there are the computers”这一句。第三段主旨也是需要整合三条并列的具体建议,即“leave computers out of the bedroom, avoid alcohol”和“do not eat nuts or cheese”。第四段的建议,内容是和上一段的三条建议并列的,但是因为转化了口吻,所以在概写时单独成为一个要点。

(2)确定表达要点,灵活准确表达。本文要点较为明显,提炼难度不大。第一段的现象描述可以整合为要点1,且用“lack of sleep”来概括和表达。第二段将两条并列的建议整合为要点2。第三段也是将并列的三条建议整合为要点3。第四段的内容为要点4。

Exercise 6

Although being famous might sound like a dream come true, today’s stars, feeling like zoo animals, face pressures that few of us can imagine. They are at the center of much of the world’s attention. Paparazzi(狗仔队）camp outside their homes, cameras ready. Tabloids (小报）publish thrilling stories about their personal lives. Just imagine not being able to do anything without being photographed or interrupted for a signature. According to psychologist Christina Villarreal, celebrities----famous people —worry constantly about their public appearance. Eventually, they start to lose track of who they really are, seeing themselves the way their fans imagine them, not as the people they were before everyone knew their names. “Over time,’’ Villarreal says, “they feel separated and lonely .

The phenomenon of tracking celebrities has been around for ages. In the 4th century B.C., painters followed Alexander the Great into battle, hoping to picture his victories for his admirers. When Charles Dickens visited America in the 19th century, his sold-out readings attracted thousands of fans, leading him to complain about his lack of privacy. Tabloids of the 1920s and 1930s ran articles about film-stars in much the same way that modern tabloids and websites do.

Being a public figure today, however, is a lot more difficult than it used to be. Superstars cannot move about without worrying about photographers with modern cameras. When they say something silly or do something ridiculous, there is always the Internet to spread the news in minutes and keep their ‘story’ alive forever.

If fame is so troublesome, why aren’t all celebrities running away from it? Th e answer is that there are still ways to deal with it. Some stars stay calm by surrounding themselves with trusted friends and family or by escaping to remote places away from big cities. They focus not on how famous they are but on what they love to do or whatever made them famous in the first place. Sometimes a few celebrities can get a little justice. Still, even stars who enjoy full justice often complain about how hard their lives are. They are tired of being famous already.

参考范文：Chased around all the time, celebrities strive to live up to the public expectations, some even losing themselves on the road to fame.(要点、1) The craze for following celebrities started long ago.(要点2) However,it is much harder to be a star these days due to advanced cameras and the Internet.(要3) Fortunately, some stars have worked out solutions to reducing such pressure though some claim they are stressed out.(要点4)

分析过程：1.核心内容

本文是一篇议论文,全文共四段。文章讨论成名带给名人们的影响以及名人处理这些压力

的方法。第一段通过描述追踪名人这一现象引出话题:名人是全世界关注的焦点。他们的个人隐私得不到保护。而一些名人为了维持自己的公众形象,开始偏离真实的生活轨道。而随着时间的推移,他们感受到孤独感和隔离感。第二段以名人亚历山大大帝、狄更斯为例,说明追踪名人这一现象由来已久。第三段指出相机和网络让当今的名人生活更不易。第四段提及一些名人找到办法来缓解成名压力,但与此同时,一些名人仍然受成名所累,心力交瘁。

2.写作思路

(1)依据论述主题,归纳段落大意。通过整合该文第一段关键词“celebrities,center of attention, lose track”,可得出段落大意“ Celebrities who are at the center of the world’s attention worry about their public appearance and start to lose track of who they really are. ”。第二段首句“The phenomenon of tracking celebrities has been around for ages.”为段落主题句。第三段首句“Being a public figure today,however,is a lot more difficult than it used to be.”为段落主题句。通过整合关键词块“ways to deal with it,tired”得出第四段段落大意“There are ways to deal with it,but some still feel tired of being famous. ”0

(2)确定表达要点,灵活准确表达。该文要点条理清晰,由现象引出论点。通过历史名人事例明确论点,再进一步说明原因,最后提出可行的解决方法等。要点1是第一段的段落大意,名人是人们关注的焦点,他们因担心自己的公众形象而开始迷失自己。因为该要点所含信息较多,可使用非谓语动词形式进行表达,对名人被追逐、迷失自我等信息加以补充说明。要点2可对第二段主题句进行简单的同义替换。要点3是第三段主题句：在现代,由于相机和网络的存在,名人的生活更不容易。同时,要点3和要点2之间是转折关系,可用but 之类的转折连词来衔接句子。要点4是对第四段的概括,即名人为了缓解成名压力而采取的一系列措施,可用luckily或fortunately引出。

Exercise 7

Whether in the home or the workplace, social robots are going to become a lot more common in the next few years. Social robots are about to bring technology to the everyday world in a more humanized way, said Cynthia Breazeal, chief scientist at the robot company Jibo.

While household robots today do the normal housework, social robots will be much more like companions than mere tools. For example, these robots will be able to distinguish when someone is happy or sad. This allows them to respond more appropriately to the user. The Jibo robot, arranged to ship later this year, is designed to be a personalized assistant. You can talk to the robot, ask it questions, and make requests for it to perform different tasks. The robot doesn’t just deliver g eneral answers to questions；it responds based on what it learns about each individual in the household. It can do things such as reminding an elderly family member to take medicine or taking family photos.

Social robots are not just finding their way into the home. They have potential applications in everything from education to health care and are already finding their way into some of these spaces. Fellow Robots is one company bringing social robots to the market. The company’s “Oshbot” robot is built to assist customers in a store, which can help the customers find items and help guide them to the product’s location in the store. It can also speak different languages and make recommendations for different items based on what the customer is shopping for.

The more interaction the robot has with humans, the more it learns. But Oshbot, like other social robots, is not intended to replace workers, but to work alongside other employees. “We have technologies to train social robots to do things not for us, but with us,” said Breazeal.

参考范文Social robots are going to catch on in the near future.(要点1) These humanoid robots are not just able to do the household chores but also capable of fulfilling tasks and offering emotional support in a more humanized way.(要点2) Plus,social robots will probably take on jobs in many other workplaces. (要点3) Yet,they are not a replacement but a complement to the labor force.(要点4)

分析过程：核心内容本文是一篇说明文,全文共四段。第一段主要讲述未来几年里,社交机器人将在日常生活中变得更为普遍。第二段以家庭助手机器人Jibo为例,说明社交机器人在家庭生活中不仅仅是一件工具,而更像是一个交互式伴侣。第三段以销售咨询机器人Oshbot为例,进一步说明社交机器人在其他领域的应用。第四段总结说明社交机器人不会成为人类的替代者,而是得力助手。写作思路理清文章脉络,概括段落大意。第一段首句“Whether in the home or the workplace, social robots are going to become a lot more common

in the next few years. ”是段落主题句。第二段段落主题句为“…social robots will be much more like companions than mere tools.”。第三段首句起到承上启下的过渡作用,第二句“They have potential applications in everything from education to health care and are already finding their way into some of these spaces.”为段落主题句。第四段第一句再次点明社交机器人最主要的特点是它能在与人交互中学到更多,呼应了开头第一段的“a more humanized way”,但but之后的内容才是该段重点所在,因此该段主题句是第二句“But Oshbot,like other social robots, is not intended to replace workers, but to work alongside other employees.”。确定表达要点,灵活准确表达。将每段的段落大意都作为表达的要点可以确保不漏要点。要点1是第一段的大意,即“社交机器人会在未来几年里变得更加普遍”。要点2以第二段的主题句为基础, 强调社交机器人不仅仅是家务劳动的工具,更像是一个会互动的陪伴者,可采用“not only... but also”结构,使句意完整,结构紧凑。要点3是对第三段主题句的概括,@卩“社交机器人可以应用于其他任何领域”；同时,要点3和要点2之间是递进关系,可考虑用besides等词来衔接。要点4是对第四段主题句的提炼,8卩“社交机器人是人类的得力助手,而不是人类的替代者”。

Exercise 8

Many seniors feel pressured to go straight from high school to college —but Camden Olson, who graduated from Latin School of Chicago in the US last year,didn’t give in. She decided to spend a gap year raising a guide dog for Guiding Eyes for the Blind in Maine.

The nonprofit provides trained guide dogs to blind and visually impaired people.

“I can say I’m living the dream,’’ Olson said. “This is something I’ve always wanted to do.,’

Taking a year off before college, commonly known as a gap year, is becoming more and more popular among American teenagers. According to a survey by the American Gap Association, enrollment in these programs grew 27 percent between 2012 and 2013. Some students use the year off to figure out what they want to do, travel the world, or save money for college.

Olson is using her time to pursue a passion she's had since 7th grade. For years, she kept an eye on guide dog services until she came across the opportunity at Guiding Eyes. With support from her friends, family and teachers, Olson went for it.

Olson’s volunteer work centers around Derby, ,a 1-year-old black dog. “My job is to raise him to be well-mannered and socialized, she said. “Guide dogs have to ignore any distractions. They go everywhere with their visually impaired handler. They give a blind person a lot of independen ce and emotional support, too.”

Of course, there’s an end in sight for Derby and Olson’s close bond. When Derby celebrates his own graduation, Olson will have to say goodbye to him.

While some look at gap years in a negative light, Olson said she’s seen ma jor success. In fact, she’ll be attending Princeton University this fall and is thinking about majoring in ecology and biology.

“I think I’m already much more mature than I was and aware of what really matters,,” she said. “So many kids do come back from gap years a lot more focused and prepared. ”

参考答案：Like many other high school graduates, Olson was determined to take advantage of her gap year to train a guide dog,which was what she longed to do for a long time.(要点1) Not only did Olson accomplish the task of training Derby to be capable of its work—to help people with visual disabilities, (要点2) but she herself benefited much from this experience.(要点3)

分析过程：

一、试题详解

核心内容

本文是一篇记叙文,主要讲述Olson决定利用gap year来训练导盲犬,这是她自七年级以来的梦想。Olson选择把这一年的时间用来训练Derby,使它能够胜任导盲犬的工作,给视力障碍人士提供帮助,而这次经历也有助于她的成长。

写作思路

（1）记叙文是记叙人物的经历或事物的发展变化过程为主的一种文体。这篇文章以人物为中心叙述事情。所以我们要交代清楚人物（Camden Olson)、时间（last year after graduating senior school)、事由（raise a guide dog called Derby),这样文章的脉络就一目了然,有助于概括大意。

（2）确定要点,使其结构紧凑,过渡自然。本文要点1是全文的中心,即Olson高中毕业后打算用gap year来培训导盲犬,这也是她长久的愿望。要点2说明训练的结果,要点3则是Olson从中的收获。在确定要点后就要运用自己的语言有效地组织。

Exercise 9

It was the old lady's birthday. She got up early to be ready for the post. From the second floor flat she could see the postman when he came, and the little boy from the ground floor brought up her letters on rare occasions when anything came.

Today she was sure there would be something. Myra wouldn’t forget her mother’s birthday ,even if she seldom wrote at other times. Of course Myra was busy, and she herself had got a medal for her work for the aged. The old lady was proud of Myra. And Myra had been to see her mother three times since two years ago.

The old lady was eighty today. She had put on her best dress. Perhaps Myra might come. After all, eighty was a special birthday. Even if Myra did not come, she would send a present. She was excited, like a child.

Mrs. Morrison had cleaned the flat, and she had brought a bunch of flowers when she came to do the breakfast. Mrs. Grant downstairs had made a cake. Little Johnnie had been up with a packet of mints, and said he wouldn’t go out to play until the post had come.

“I guess you’ll get lots of presents,” he said.

What would it be? A pair of slippers, a table lamp, or a travel book? She stood by the window, watching. The postman turned round the corner on his bicycle. Her heart beat fast.

Johnnie knocked at her door. “Granny, granny,” he shouted, “I have got your post.”

He gave her four envelopes. Three were unsealed cards from old friends. The fourth was sealed, in Myra’s writing. The old lady felt a sudden feeling of disappointment.

Almost reluctantly she tore the envelope open. Folded in the card was a piece of paper. Written on the card was a message under the printed Happy Birthday — Buy yourself something nice with the cheque, Myra.

The cheque dropped to the floor like a bird with a broken wing. Slowly the old lady picked it up. With trembling fingers she tore it into pieces.

二、参考范文

The old lady was very excited on her 80th birthday,（要点1) because she was sure that her

daughter would come for a visit or send a parcel to her.(要点2) So the old lady waited eagerly for the postman.(要点3) But what her daughter sent was not a present but a printed card with a cheque.(要点4) The old lady felt so disappointed that she tore up the cheque.(要点5)

一、试题详解

核心内容

这是一篇故事,讲述了一位英国老太太80岁生日那天所经历的事情及精神上所承受的打击。那天她起得特别早,穿上考究的衣服,心想女儿会给她来祝寿,即便不能来也一定会寄件生日礼物的。于是她急切地期待着,可是最终收到的却是生日卡片外加一张支票。失望至极,伤心至极,老太太把支票撕得粉碎。

写作思路

故事类的概要写作方法主要是要素串联法。我们需要抓住几个要素：谁做了什么（who... what);结果怎么样。这个练习,我们首先要明确故事中的人物关系。故事的主要人物是过生日的老人和老人的女儿Myra,接着要理清故事主要事件。在老太太80岁生日当天,邻居给她准备了生日礼物,她满心期待自己的女儿会来看望自己或寄来生日礼物,结果却只等来一张生日卡片和一张支票。老人因此非常失望。

三、范文解析

范文把要点1和2表达为一句,用because连接交代故事的主要情节<老人80岁的生日是很重要的一个生日,她满心期待自己的女儿会来看望,她想即便女儿太忙不能亲自来她肯定也会送来礼物。要点3用so连接要点1和2来解释老人为什么会等邮递员的到来。它们跟要点4是转折关系,所以用but 连接。要点5是一个结果,老人最终等来的只是一张支票,老人的失望与前面的期待形成鲜明的对比。

四、提炼归纳

有效运用连接手段

在具体的写作过程中我们要对要点进行筛选整合,还要考虑各要点之间的连接手段的有效运用, 例如用“because,so”连接各要点,表示各要点中的因果关系；but等词表示转折,与最后老人失望撕支票连接,这些连接词的使用可以使文本内容连贯紧凑。

要点整合

为了达到概要写作规定的词数,在准确梳理原文要点的基础上,我们需要对文本的内容进行必要的整合。对于故事类的文章来讲找到故事的几个要素（who, when, where, what,

why, how)是关键。但概要并不需要提到所有的要素。这个故事需要提到的是谁（who）在什么时候（when）做了什么（what）,怎么了（how）。

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(完整版)2020上海高考英语一模概要写作指导写作汇编

上海高考英语题型训练: 写作 2020高三第一学期期末质量抽查 IV. Summary Writing （10 分） Directions: Read the following passage. Summarize the main idea and the main point （s）of the passage in no more than 60 words. Use your own words as far as possible. 松江 It goes without saying that the language spoken by the majority of British people has the same name as the language spoken by most citizens of the U.S.A. Nonetheless, quite apart from well-documented lexical （词汇的）differences - pavement/sidewalk, lift/elevator, etc. - there are still some words and phrases which can cause confusion and misunderstanding between speakers of the two different forms. That's why sonic people say that Great Britain and the United States are nations separated by a common language. There are practical reasons for this. When the first English settlers arrived in what we now call America, the language they spoke was naturally the same as that spoken by their compatriots （同胞）on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. However, they immediately saw things which didn't exist in Europe, often items used and made by Native Americans, such as canoes and moccasins and creatures such as buffalo. They also picked up words which they heard being used by other European immigrants. The word "boss”,for example, was used by settlers from Holland in New York in the mid-17th century. It comes from the Dutch word "baas'" which means master. The word "cookie" also comes from the Dutch "koekje”. There are many words, phrases and even grammatical structures which are mistaken for Americanisms （美式英语用语）in Britain when they are nothing of the sort. Very often, they represent not an American import, but an original form of British English which has disappeared in Britain. The verbs "guess” meaning think and “loan” me aning lend and the adjective "mad" meaning angry are frequently criticized as Americanisms, yet they all appeared in British English hundreds of years ago. In the case of “loan”, it was used as long ago as 1,200 years! In fact, English spoken in the UK has changed so thoroughly in the last 500 years that American English now represents the last place where some original British English forms can be found. 参考答案：Although American English and British English are the same language, there are great differences. Two reasons account for the phenomenon. New words were created after the first English settlers in America saw new things and learned words from other Europeans. Additionally, some original expressions have been changed by British people while they are still being used by Americans. 崇明 Giving Thanks This is the season for taking the time to reflect on what we're thankful for in life. Spending that time with friends and family to give thanks is what makes the holidays so special. But why should we limit it to just a few weeks in the years? Gratitude is a

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2011-2017年上海高考英语作文及参考范文

你是××中学的××，你校学生会即将组织一次徒步活动，已在校园网发布方案，征求师生的修改意见。你需要写一封邮件，包含以下两点： 1.提出你觉得需要改进的地方； Dear Sir/Madam, I’m really excited to heat that a hiking activity is going to be held near the Bund on the Labor Day holiday. However, there may be further improvement of the scheme you’ve posted on the campus website, as I’d like to point out. are willing to have a clearer picture of security precautions and necessary medical support for the the scheme should be comprehensive and thoughtful enough to ensure the success of the activity. Only by clarifying these details, are you likely to attract more attention from the students. I suggest the hike be more suited to the theme “Discover Shanghai” through additional activities. Upon arrival at the Bund, I propose an introduction of the architecture on both sides of the Huangpu River. By appreciating different artistic styles of the buildings, we can gain a deeper insight into the authentic Shanghai culture mixed with exotic , the experience may well be unforgettable one, because it of organizing the activity. , if the hike is organized in more detail and in a more supportive way, it is sure to succeed. I hope that my voice above can be heard and considered and wish the activity a great success. Yours sincerely Wang Lei