《夜莺与玫瑰》两个中文版本对比

（2013）届本科生毕业设计（论文）

题目 The Comparison Between Two Chinese Version of the Nightingale and the Rose In Translation Approaches

《夜莺与玫瑰》两个中文版本

翻译技巧之比较

专业英语

院系外国语学院

学号

姓名

指导教师

2014年5月

《夜莺与玫瑰》两个中文版本翻译技巧之比较

学生姓名：

指导教师：

摘要：

英国著名诗人、作家Oscar Wilde的童话一向辞藻丰丽、主题深刻，给人们以极大的震撼。《夜莺与玫瑰》因其唯美的风格和凄美的故事本身赢得了全球广大读者的青睐。由于译者的翻译观、翻译方法等总要受到一定的社会经济、文化条件的影响，对于同一篇文章难免会有不同的理解与表达。

本文着重从翻译技巧的角度，简要比较了林徽因和王林的两个版本。全文分两章，分别对词汇和句子结构两方面的翻译技巧作了比较，旨在分享一些个人观点并争取更多的学者参与进来以期更全面、客观而又深刻的认识。

关键词：比较、夜莺与玫瑰、词汇、句子结构

The Comparison between Two Chinese Version of the Nightingale and the Rose In the Translation

Approaches of the Text

Undergraduate:

Supervisor:

Abstract:

The famous English poet and writer Oscar Wilde's fairy tales always give people great shocks for profound theme .Owing to its beautiful style and poignant story ,The nightingale and the rose wons the global readers of all ages.Translator's translation methods always influenced by certain social economic and cultural conditions, for the same article different translators have different understanding and expressions.

The thesis briefly compared the two versions of Phyllis Lin and wang Lin from the perspective of translation approaches . It consists of two chapters.The first chapter focuses on the comparison of vocabulary , The second chapter focuses on the comparison of sentence structure . The purpose is to share some personal views and strive for more scholars to participate in the study to make it a more comprehensive, objective and profound understanding.

Key words: comparison;the Nightingale and Rose; vocabulary; sentence components

Contents

1. Introduction (4)

2. Chapter One:The comparison on vocabulary ......................................... 错误！未定义书签。

2.1 The choice and conversion of word meaning ....................................... 错误！未定义书签。

2.2 The conversion of parts of speech ........................................................ 错误！未定义书签。

2.3 Addition and Omission ......................................................................... 错误！未定义书签。

3. Chapter Two:The comparison on sentence structure .............................. 错误！未定义书签。

3.1 Word Order ........................................................................................... 错误！未定义书签。

3.1.1 Direct translation and reverse translation .................................... 错误！未定义书签。

3.1.2 preposition and Postposition ........................................................ 错误！未定义书签。

3.1.3Inductive method (6)

3.2 Combination ......................................................................................... 错误！未定义书签。

3.2.1 Division .................................................................................... 错误！未定义书签。

3.2.2 Combination ............................................................................. 错误！未定义书签。

3.3 Conversion ............................................................................................ 错误！未定义书签。

3.3.1 Transformation of parts of the sentence ....................................... 错误！未定义书签。

3.3.2 The change of the passive voice .............................................. 错误！未定义书签。

4.Conclusion ............................................................................................... 错误！未定义书签。

5.Bibliography .......................................................................................... 错误！未定义书签。

6.Acknowledgment (13)

1. Introduction

Fairy tale is a narrative style based on fantasy and assisted with exaggeration, personification, etc. to express universal human desire.The famous English poet and

writer Oscar Wilde is an aestheticism advocates, the beautiful characters and delicate feelings in his fairy tale often give a person with a sweet touch and a kind of light sadness. "The nightingale and the rose" won the global readers of all ages because of its beautiful style and poignant story itself . “The nightingale and the rose"is a story beautiful but sad : a young man wanted to dance with his beloved girl very much, and the girl agreed him that as long as he bring her a red rose, she would be his dancing partner. He did not find even one red rose after searching all his garden,and his heart was almost broken.In order to realize his dream ,the little nightingale sacrificed his life to exchange a red rose. But the young man and the red rose were cruel refused by the girl as She had accepted many beautiful jewelries that minister's nephew send to her. Finally , the young student cast the red rose on the road, let the wheel roll on it.

However, different translators have different understanding on things, which leads to different expressions on same things. S ince it being translated into Chinese by Hu Yuzhi in 1920 ,The nightingale and the rose has been translated by other scholars many times.This article mainly focuses on the analysis and contrast of two different versions from Phyllis Lin,an outstanding women living in Republican period and Wang Lin,an associate professor teaching in Foshan University.Generally speaking, both Lin and Wang’s translation are full of characteristics of beautiful tone.They all strive to make their translation faithfully on meaning and smooth on expression .It's a time with collision between old culture and new culture when Phyllis Lin translated the nightingale and the rose "after colloquialism emerged . As a result ,her translation is influenced strongly by classical Chinese translation.While when Mr Wang Lin translated the nightingale and the rose, classical Chinese has been away for a long time .With the development of Times, Wang's expression is more inclined to today's style.

The main purpose of this thesis is to compare the approaches of these two versions on the similarities and differences, and to share some personal views .

2.Chapter One:The comparison on vocabulary

In E-C translation, different translators have different ways to express vocabularies .Influenced by their times and the society they live ,they often have different understanding on meanings ,which makes a different output .

2.1 The choice and conversion of word meaning

2.1.1 The choice of word meaning

Most English vocabularies are multivocal, we need to choose the right meaning when we translate. As a result of living in different times, Phyllis Lin and Wang Lin have different social environment and language background, which leads to a

different choose on words .And this is an outstanding difference between the two versions .Overall , Lin chooses more classical Chinese than Wang when they translate the Nightingale and the Rose.While Wang chooses more colloquialism, Which makes an easier understanding as it is closer to our modern life.

Here are some examples:

Eg.1 “his beautiful eyes filled with tears”.(in Para.3)

According to Lin:他秀眼里含满着泪珠。

According to Wang:一双美丽的眼睛充满了泪水。

Compared “秀眼”and “美丽的眼睛”，“秀眼” is a word with classical Chinese style.

Eg.2 “I have read all that the wise men written .”(in Para.3)

According to Lin:古圣贤书我已读完。

According to Wang:我读过智者们所写的所有文章。

For “wise man” ,Lin chooses the classical Chinese “古圣贤”while Wang chooses the word “智者” .

Eg.3 “play upon their stringed instruments”.(in Para.7)

According to Lin:弹弄丝竹。

According to Wang:弹奏起他们的弦乐器。

About “stringed instruments”,Lin translate it as “丝竹”(means traditional stringed and woodwind instrument,a classical Chinese word to indicate music) Also there are many other examples as follows:

Lightly ,gay dresses(in Para.7),nippled(in Para.26),wings(in Para.32),very fond of(in Para.36),lonely(in Para.37), Lin translates them into:翩翩，华服，噬伤，双翼，极爱怜，寂寥,and these words are full of traditional Chinese style.

From the comparison, we can see that influenced by different social economic and cultural conditions, different translators have different chooses on word meaning, Compared these two different versions, we can see two kinds of translation styles. To Lin’s translation, selection of classical Chinese makes the article full of traditional aesthetic feeling. However, it also sacrifices some features of the original at the same time. Wang’s choice on word meaning is relatively straightforward and simple, but it is closer to the facts described in the original.

2.1.2 The conversion of word meaning

When translating, we can translate the words and sentences by stretch out their meanings in Chinese habit on the basis of understanding the original meaning of English vocabulary.

In these two versions, both Lin and Wang have embodied the conversion of word meaning.But relatively speaking, both Phyllis Lin and Wang Lin choose different treatments on different sentences.Such as these examples :

Eg1.“give you what you want”

Lin: 应你所求

Wang:满足你的需要

In this sentence,for the word “want”,Lin translates it as “ask”(请求),while Wang translate it as “need”（需要）.

Eg.2 “But passion has made his face like pale ivory.”(in para.4)

Lin: 但挚情已使他脸色憔悴。

Wang: 但是感情的折磨使他脸色苍白如象牙。

In this sentence, Lin choose the way to stretch out the meaning of “made his face like pale ivory”, but Wang translates it as it is.

Eg.3 She has form. (P40)

Lin：那夜莺的确有些姿态

Wang:她的样子真好看

In this sentence ,for the word “form”,Lin translate it as “姿态”(means gesture),however Wang translate it as “good looks”

Eg.4 “and a fierce pang of pain shot through her.”(P47)

Lin: 但是，一种奇痛穿过她的全身

Wang: 一种剧烈的痛楚袭遍了她的全身

In this part, Lin translates the word “and”into “but”,the word “fierce”into “strange”.

Eg5.“Life is dear to all.”

Lin谁的生命不是宝贵的

Wang生命对每一个人都是宝贵的

Eg6.“and everybody knows that the arts are selfish.”

Lin：谁不知道艺术是为自己的

Wang：人人都知道艺术是自私的

Eg7 “Death is a great price to pay for a red rose.” (P31)

Lin:拿死来买一朵红玫瑰，代价真不小

Wang:拿死亡来换一朵玫瑰，这代价实在很高

In these sentences,Wang Lin translates them as their original meanings , but Phyllis Lin chooses to translate on the contrary .

Of course ,there is still example in which Wang Lin choose to translate in the opposite way.Such us example 8:

Eg8.Still, it must be admitted that she has some beautiful notes in her voice.

Lin: 我们是须承认她有醉人的歌喉

Wang:我们不得不承认她的歌声中有些美丽的调子

In this sentence,Lin translate the meaning according to the meaning of the original,but Wang Lin does not.

2.2、The conversion of word class

In general,there often be more nouns in English. As a result,there are so many

nouns,predicative verbs and gerunds converted by verbs. We can translate these words into verbs when we translate .

In the translation of the the nightingale and the rose ,although Phyllis Lin and Wang Lin have adapted this method ,it’s reflected more in Phyllis Lin’s version.

Eg1 .“for want of a red rose”( in para. 3)

Lin: 求一朵红玫瑰不得，我的生活使这样难堪。

Wang：缺少一朵红玫瑰，我却要过痛苦的生活。

In this sentence,“want”is a nouns. But they translate it as a verb.

Eg2 “It is pleasant to …”(in Para.31)

Lin: 一件乐事

Wang: 一件令人愉快的事情

Both of Phyllis Lin and Wang Lin translate “pleasant” ,an adjectives. As a noun.

Eg3 “But the oak trees understood.”(in Para.36)

Lin: 但橡树却是懂得

Wang:但橡树心里是明白的

In this sentence,the word “understood”is a verb, but they translate it as an adjective.

2.3 Addition and Omission

Sometimes in E-C translation, the original has a certain meaning but not expressed in words directly.Addition refers to add these meanings when in translation .For example,no quantifier between numerals and nouns in English,but we often add some quantifier when we translate.

However ,sometimes we choose the method of omission when in translation as long as the output does no effect on the complete of the meaning. For example, Possessive pronouns are used in grate quantities in English but relatively less in Chinese.

Examples about addition:

Eg1 "He is weeping for a red rose," said the Nightingale. 11

Lin :夜莺说“他为着一朵红玫瑰哭泣.

Wang: “他为一朵红玫瑰而哭泣，”夜莺告诉大家.

Wang adds an indirect object in this sentence .

Eg2.But go to my brother who grows beneath the Student's window22

Lin :请你到那边青年窗下找我兄弟

Wang: 但你可以去找我那长在学生窗下的兄弟

Both of them add the subject “you”.

Eg3.But the Oak-tree understood, and felt sad,36

Lin :那橡树却是懂得，他觉得悲伤

Wang: 可是橡树心里是明白的，他感到很难受

Both of them add the subject “he”.

Eg4.and her life-blood ebbed away from her.41

Lin :她生命的血液渐渐溢去

Wang: 她身上的鲜血也快要流光了

Lin adds an adverbial for the sentence ,and Wang adds a complement.

Examples about Omission:

Eg1.and her life-blood ebbed away from her.41

Lin :她生命的血液渐渐溢去

Wang: 她身上的鲜血也快要流光了

Both Lin and Wang omit the translation of “from her”.

Eg2.and woke the sleeping shepherds from their dreams.50

Lin :将牧童从梦里惊醒

Wang: 把酣睡的牧童从梦乡中唤醒

Lin omits an attributive “s leeping”.

Eg3.Why, I don't believe you have even got silver buckles to your shoes as the

Chamberlain's nephew has"60

Lin :我看像大臣侄子鞋上的那银扣，你都没有

Wang: 啊，我敢说你不会像宫廷大臣侄儿那样，鞋上钉有银扣子

Lin omits the translation of modal particle “why”.

3 Chapter Two:The comparison on sentence structure

3.1 word order

3.1.1 Direct translation and reverse translation

In English,time adverbial can be in different places in a sentence. Besides,some attributive clause,adverbial clause that indicate conditions,suggestions,and so on can be put in different places flexibly. However ,things are of some difference in Chinese. People often tend to express things in time or logical order in Chinese.Therefore,either direct translation or inverse translation is consistent with the habits of Chinese.

On this part,Phyllis Lin uses inverse translation more than Wang Lin ,which makes her translation in line with the reading habits of target readers(who lived in the Republican period) .

Here are some examples:

Eg1."She said that she would dance with me if I brought her red roses,"

Lin :她说我若为她采得红玫瑰，便与我跳舞

Wang: 她说过只要我送给她一些红玫瑰，她就愿意与我跳舞

Eg2.you must build it out of music by moonlight

Lin :你需在月色里用音乐制成

Wang: 你就必须借助月光用音乐来造出它

Eg3.for Love is wiser than Philosophy, though she is wise, and mightier than Power, though he is mighty.(in Para.34)

Lin :因为哲理虽智，爱比她更慧，权力虽雄，爱比她更伟

Wang:因为尽管哲学很聪明，然而爱情比她更聪明，尽管权力很伟大，可是爱情比他更伟大

Eg4Life is very dear to all.31

Lin:谁的生命不是宝贵的

Wang:生命对每一个人都是非常宝贵的

3.1.2Preposition and Postposition

Due to the different language habits in English and Chinese, when we translate some short restrictive attributive clauses and table identity of appositive , we can take them to the front of the antecedent (center).

At this point, Phyllis Lin and Wang Lin applied much.

Eg1.and the courtiers in their gay dresses will throng round her6

Lin :华服的少年们就会艳羡的围着她

Wang: 那些身着华丽服装的臣仆们将她围在中间

Eg2.as yellow as the hair of the mermaiden who sits upon an amber throne, and yellower than the daffodil that blooms in the meadow before the mower comes with his scythe. But go to my brother who grows beneath the Student's window22

Lin :黄如琥珀座上人鱼神的头发，黄过割草人未割以前的金水仙。请你到那边青年窗下找我兄弟，或者他能应你所求

Wang:

黄得就像坐在琥珀宝座上的美人鱼的头发，黄得超过拿着镰刀的割草人来之前在草地上盛开的水仙花。但你可以去找我那长在学生窗下的兄弟，或许他能满足你的需要

Eg3.Sweet is the scent of the hawthorn, and sweet are the bluebells that hide in the valley, and the heather that blows on the hill31

Lin :坐在青郁的森林里，看太阳在黄金车里，月亮在白珠辇内驰骋，真是一桩乐事。山楂花的味儿真香，山谷里的吊钟花和山坡上野草真美

Wang:

坐在绿树上看太阳驾驶着她的金马车，看月亮开着她的珍珠马车，是一件愉快的

事情。山楂散发出香味，躲藏在山谷中的风铃草以及盛开在山头的石南花也是香的。

Eg4.As the shadow of a rose in a mirror of silver, as the shadow of a rose in a water-pool, so was the rose that blossomed on the top-most spray of the Tree.

Lin :起先那瓣儿是黯淡的如同河上罩着的薄雾---黯淡的如同晨曦的交际，银灰的好似曙光的翅翼，那枝上玫瑰蕾就像映在银镜里的玫瑰影子或是照在池塘的玫瑰化身

Wang:

起初，花儿是乳白色的，就像悬在河上的雾霾——白得就如同早晨的足履，白得

就像黎明的翅膀。在最高枝头上盛开的那朵玫瑰花，如同一朵在银镜中，在水池

里照出的玫瑰花影。

3.1.3Inductive method

When translate some long sentences,translators need to recombination the words to make it easier for understanding.

Eg1Night after night have I sung of him, though I knew him not: night after night have I told his story to the stars, and now I see him. (in Para.4)

Lin :以前我虽不曾认识，我却夜夜的歌唱他：我夜夜将他的一桩桩事告诉星辰，如今我见着他了.

Wang: 虽然我不认识他，但我会每夜每夜地为他歌唱，我还会每夜每夜地把他的故事讲给星星听。现在我总算看见他了，

In this sentence ,Wang Lin recombine the sentence.

Eg2."Why is he weeping?" asked a little Green Lizard, as he ran past him with his tail in the air. (in Para. 8)

Lin :绿色的小壁虎说，“他为什么哭泣？”说完就竖起尾巴从他跟前跑过

Wang: “他为什么哭呢?”一条绿色的小蜥蜴高高地翘起尾巴从他身旁跑过时，这样问道。

Eg3.The young Student was still lying on the grass, where she had left him, and the tears were not yet dry in his beautiful eyes. 33

Lin :那青年仍旧僵卧在草地上方才她离去的地方，他那付秀眼里的泪珠还没有干.

Wang:

年轻的学生仍躺在草地上，跟她离开时的情景一样，他那双美丽的眼睛还挂着泪水.

In this sentence,Phyllis Lin combine the former part with the later part .

Eg4.So he returned to his room and pulled out a great dusty book, and began to read. 62

Lin :于是他回到房中取出一本笨重的，满堆着尘土的大书埋头细读.

Wang: 于是他想便回到自己的屋子里，拿出满是尘土的大书，读了起来.

In this sentence,Wang Lin separates the former parts into two,while Phyllis Lin combine the former part with the later part .

3.2 combination

3.2.Division

Because of the link by "contact word" , although some sentence is a sentence in form, but the meaning of many components in it are independent of each other.It is entirely feasible to disconnect them into short sentences.We can disconnect the sentence at these links.The contact word usually bear by relationship pronouns,relationship adverbs, independent verbs, etc. From the comparison ,we can see that Phyllis Lin likes to divide one sentence into several parts while Wang Lin tends to translate as one.

Eg1.And when the Moon shone in the heavens（in Para.41）

Lin :待月亮升到天空，放出她的光艳时

Wang: 等到月亮挂上了天际的时候

Eg2.You will wear it tonight next your heart, and as we dance together it will tell you how I love you."(in Para.56)

Lin :你可以将她插在你的胸前，我们同舞的时候，这花便能告诉你，我怎样的爱你.

Wang: 你今晚就把它戴在你的胸口上，我们一起跳舞的时候，它会告诉你我是多么的爱你.

In these two sentences,Lin divides both of them into two parts.

3.2.2Combination

Sometimes we can joint two sentences or more into one as long as they have close meanings . In the translation of the Nightingale And the Rose ,both Phyllis Lin and Wang Lin adapt this method .

Eg1.The Student looked up from the grass, and listened(in Para.35)

Lin :青年从草里抬头侧耳静听

Wang:学生从草地上抬头仰望着，并侧耳倾听

This sentence has two parts,but Lin joints them into a short one.

Eg2.When she had finished her song the Student got up, and pulled a note-book and

a lead-pencil out of his pocket. (in Para.39)

Lin :她唱罢时，那青年站起身来从衣袋里抽出一本日记薄和一支笔

Wang:等她的歌声一停，学生便从草地上站起来，从他的口袋中拿出一个笔记本和一支铅笔。

This sentence has ,Lin joints “the Student got up, and pulled a note-book and a lead-pencil out of his pocket”into one short part.

Wang Lin also apply this method in the translation,for example:

Eg1 And he went into his room, and lay down on his little pallet-bed, and began to think of his love; and, after a time, he fell asleep. (in Para. 40)

Lin :于是他回到自己室中，躺在他的小草垫的床上想念他的爱人；过了片时他就睡去。

Wang:他走进屋子，躺在自己那张简陋的小床上，想起他那心爱的人儿，不一会儿就进入了梦乡。

In the translation of this long sentence , both Lin and Wang joint “after a time, he fell asleep” into one part.

Eg2.The red rose heard it, and it trembled all over with ecstasy(in Para.50)

Lin :那玫瑰听见，凝神战栗着，

Wang :红玫瑰更是欣喜若狂

About this example,Wang Lin translates the two parts into one part.

3.3 conversion

3.3.1 The conversion of sentence constituents

Parts of speech can be converted ,sentence composition can be,too. The conversion of sentence composition often caused by changing the match of verbs and nouns to make a different grammatical relationship.

Eg1.But go to my brother who grows beneath the Student's window22

Lin :请你到那边青年窗下找我兄弟

Wang: 但你可以去找我那长在学生窗下的兄弟

In this sentence , “grows beneath the Student's window”is an attributive,but Lin translate it into place adverbial.

Eg2. When she had finished her song (in Para.39)

Lin :她唱罢时

Wang: 等她的歌声一停

In this sentence,Wang Lin converts the subject “she” into “her voice”.

Eg3.and a film came over her eyes. 49

Lin :她的眼上起了一层薄膜

Wang: 一层雾膜爬上了她的双目。

In this sentence,Phyllis Lin converts the subject “ a film” into “her eyes”.

3.3.2 The conversion of voice

Some passive sentences can be translated directly, but most passive voice sentences need to be converted to make the translation more close to Chinese when translate, and that is why there are less use of passive voice in Chinese.

There are three ways to convert the passive voice:

Firstly, restore the sentence into active sentence: To restore the people behind the word “by” who issued the action to subject ,then increase words like "people" and "we"that omitted in original .

Secondly, to make it an active sentence: use the words such as "give, by, make",and so on to translate a sentence into active sentences.

Thirdly,to convert the sentence into automatic sentence: by selecting the verbs of Chinese to convert the people who bear into the people who issue the action .

Eg1. “I have rea d all that the wise men have written.”(in Para.3)

Lin:古圣贤书我已读完。

Wang:我读过智者们写的所有文章。

In this sentence,Lin converts the sentence into automatic sentence by converting the object “all that the wise men have written” into the subject .

Eg2. “and he threw the rose into the street, where it fell into the gutter, and a cart-wheel went over it.” (in Para.59)

Lin :她便将玫瑰掷在街心，掉在车辙里，让一个车轮轧过.

Wang :一下把玫瑰扔到了大街上，玫瑰落入阴沟里，一辆马车从它身上碾了过去。

In the sentence“a cart-wheel went over it”,cart-wheel is subject,while Phyllis Lin make it an active sentence by adding a word “let”.

4.Conclusion

At this point, this paper mainly analyzes part of the similarities and differences on the translation methods about the two versions of Phyllis Lin and Wang Lin .Generally speaking, Lin’s translation and Wang’s translation are both full of

characteristic with beautiful style.They all pursuit a smooth and fluent expression on the basis of the faithful to the original.All sorts of subjective or objective factors, however,leads they have certain differences on the skills of translation. Full of classical Chinese characteristics ,Lin's translation is full of the beauty of classical Chinese articles.She prefers to use the verb in the process of translation. Besides,she prefers to use inverse translation, she adopted more transformation method. Her translation has more characters of Sinicization, is more in line with the target audiences' (who lived in a collision period between old and new Chinese) reading habits. But today, after all, the era of classical Chinese has past for a long time, for people today,some of her expressions are not so accustomed to people's reading habits . Compared with Phyllis Lin’s translation ,Wang Lin's version is more faithful to the original and closer to the habit of English expression,and relatively has less mistranslation. But this is because life is different between them, they have different social conditions, economic conditions and cultural conditions.Phyllis Lin Living in the period that the development of colloquialism is not so good and the informations are not so available , we should analyze her translation specific. This article just maintain some personal views.Hope that more scholars to focus on the famous fairy tale written by Oscar Wilde and share some of their views on this most beautiful fairy tale .

Bibliography

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英汉翻译初探》）. 北京：商务印书馆, 1982.

[7] 方梦之. 《英语汉译实践与技巧》. 天津：天津科技翻译出版公司. 1994.

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Acknowledgments

Upon the completion of the thesis, first of all, I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to my supervisor Ms. Fei Tianxiang, for his enlightening guidance, incessant encouragement and careful modification throughout the process of writing this thesis. Without her patience and prudence, I even could not make my decision about what to write.

Besides, I also want to express my appreciation to those friends and classmates in the School of Foreign Languages of Mianyang Normal University who have gave me so many suggestions and help .Without their help, it would be much harder for me to finish my study and this paper. If not been helped by them , I couldn’t have brought my thesis to its present form .

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